To: Junelie Guevarra
From: Gabriella Generoso
Date: March 1, 2023
Subject: Peer Review – Proposal for Improving the Knowledge of Different Post Secondary Pathways for High School Students
First Impressions
This document is well-organized and easily digestible. This document seeks to dig deeper than the surface level concerns regarding post secondary such as, financial assistance and the stigma surrounding colleges. Above all, the topic is thought provoking and one that a wide range of readers – from counsellors to upcoming college and university students – will find insightful.
Organization
- Subheadings are bold and clear, enabling a smooth and easy read.
- Everything is in order with a sensible, step by step flow of content.
Content
- This document contains all the required sections in adequate detail, which ultimately increases the proposal’s legitimacy.
- The introduction is insightful and informative, foreshadowing the issue to follow.
- The statement of problem is both valid and easy to understand.
- The proposed solution is sound and persuasive because resolving the issue of insufficient resources about post secondary options is as simple as generating one informative and unbiased source, which would be the event proposed.
- Scope and methods are reasonable and relatable, and the selected sources should provide enough reference and data.
- Qualification is closely tied to the background of the proposal and presents intentions that are both personal and professional.
Grammar and Typos
While this proposal is exceptionally done and expresses all its meaningful content, minor clarity issue should be addressed:
- Offering an introductory or concluding remark to the following sentence will allow for a smoother read overall: “Tours on college and university campuses to learn about student life before committing to a university or college.”
- Consider: “Tours on college and university campuses to learn about student life before committing to a university or college will be offered”
- Although there may be biases favouring universities over colleges, the document should not assume such biases exist before any research, references or data can prove it. Thus, instead of asking questions such as, “What biases of major universities and colleges are displayed towards high school students?”, consider asking a more open-ended question like, “Do major universities or colleges display any bias toward high school students?”
Concluding Comments
Holistically, this proposal is insightful and promising. I am impressed by the personal and professional connections made for this project thus far, and I look forward to seeing the positive impact this will make for upcoming post secondary students. The work overall is excellent, but kindly consider the following suggestions for further improvement:
- Avoid leading questions that will preface your project with major assumptions and implications
- Proofread to add or subtract some words to ensure a smooth read
You have displayed excellent work so far. I look forward to following along in this insightful project! Should you have any questions or concerns, kindly reach out.
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