3.3 Peer Review of Formal Report Draft

To: Amy McCoan, Student ENGL 301 Technical Writing
From: Angie Zhou, Student ENGL 301 Technical Writing
Date: April 3, 2023
Subject: Peer Review of Amy’s Formal Report Draft: Increasing Distance Education at the University of British Columbia

Thank you for submitting the draft of your formal report in a timely manner. The report is organized, concise, and a pleasure to read. An outstanding job has been done in addressing the need for increasing distance education at UBC. Please see the following suggestions to further improve this proposal.

First Impressions

The report draft does a job of introducing the problem at hand and explaining the need for increasing distance education at UBC. In-depth literature review on the benefits and feasbility of increasing distance education is also provided. Additionally, the report is well-organized and informative. However, the figures used to present the primary data collected are small and therfore difficult to read and interpret.

Organization

• The components required in a formal report draft are present
• Many sub-headings are used, which help with the readability and organization of the contents of the report
• An appropriate title page is included
• The organization of the report draft is clear and organized in a logical manner
• Including page numbers will improve the organization of the report
• For the most part, writing with big chunks of text is avoided
• All the headings and subheadings are bolded and appropriately titled to reveal the content clearly

Introduction

• In ‘Asynchronous: “instructor supported (UBC, 2023),’ an ending quotation mark is missing after the word “supported”
• The definitions for “online classes” and “asynchronous classes” are said to be classes “taught via Zoom” but some classes use other online platforms such as Panopto
• Sufficient background information is given to understand why increasing distance education would be beneficial
• Starting a sentence with a number is often not recommended (ex. “51% of these trips were made on transit, and 48% on personal vehicles”)
• In the sentence ” It was reported that student made 131, 200 (consisting of personal vehicles and transit) (Transportation Status Report, 2021) of average weekday trips to campus,” the word “student” should be plural. Additionally, is it 131,200 trips over the span of one year?
• In-text citations are added to properly reference literature
• The purpose and intended audience of the report are clear and concise
• The “Data Sources and Method of Inquiry” section is mostly written in past tense but should be written in present-tense
• The methods section is informative to understand how the primary research was conducted

Data Section 

• The questions asked in the survey are appropriate and effective
• The figures are small and therefore difficult to read
• Writing should be in present tense rather than past tense
• The abbreviation “DE” was used but was not previously defined
• The abbreviation “GPA” was used but was not defined until after already using it several times
• Centering all the figures may make the report visually more appealing
• PSYC 365 is incorrectly written as “PYSC 365”
• The data are presented in relatively small chunks, which supports the readability of the report
• Under the “Feasibility of Increasing Distance Education” heading, removing the space between the “three pillars” presented could improve the visual appeal and consistency of the report

Style

• The report maintains a positive, professional, and objective tone throughout
• The report reflects YOU-attitude but could be improved by decreasing the use of imperative verbs

Design

• The graphics are well-designed and correctly and effectively labeled
• The report draft is reader-friendly and visually appealing
• The figures are small and therefore difficult to read
• The spacing of the writing is mostly consistent throughout

Conclusion

• Writing should be in present-tense
• Key findings are well-summarized in the conclusion

Recommendations

• The recommendations are well-organized and easy to read
• Four distinct recommendations are provided and in sufficient detail

Concluding Comments

Overall, this draft is an excellent start to what will become the final report. The following suggestions can help to improve the effectiveness of the report:

• Revising the definitions for “online” and “asynchronous” classes
• Defining abbreviations when they are first used in the report
• Enlarging and centering the figures to improve readability
• Writing in present-tense rather than past-tense
• Fixing spelling and grammatical errors
• Including page numbers
• Replacing imperative verbs
• Not starting a sentence with a number

I hope this peer review will be helpful in improving the formal report. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

Bests,

Angie

Encl. Amy McCoan’s Formal Report Draft