3.3 – Peer Review of Michael’s Formal Report Draft (Revised on Apr 17)

To: Michael Ly, ENGL 301 Student
From: Jade Duan, ENGL 301 Student
Date: April 3, 2023
Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report (1st. Draft) for Feasibility Analysis for Enhancing Safe Medication Handling and Disposal Practices

Thank you for submitting the final report draft for Feasibility Analysis for Enhancing Safe Medication Handling and Disposal Practices. The draft is pleasant to read for a start, and it presents a well-built argument of providing public educational campaign and dedicated waste containers for proper health products management. Please consider the following suggestions for improvement.

Initial Impressions:

This final report draft incorporates inspirational ideas and sound logical reasoning. Specifically, the survey for gathering primary data is thoughtfully designed, and has considered mitigation of biases by engaging two sides of the issue. The recommendation to provide a higher number of dedicated personal health product handling containers demonstrates compassion and professionalism. In the meantime, fixing the existing content presentation issues and document formatting inconsistencies will enhance the reading experience. Moreover, strengthening narrative correlations among certain adjacent subsections of the data section could make the arguments more persuasive.

Overall Expression:

• The tone of this report is professional, unbiased and consistent.
• The contents of all sections are relevant to the intended reader.
• Improving content presentation and document formatting will aid in frictionless communication for the survey data, and in receiving favorable responses to the recommended solution of allocating more resources.

Content:

• This document provides thorough background information to help the reader identify the problem.
• The survey data involving two relevant social groups is eloquent, leading to convincing conclusions and recommendations.
• Slightly restructuring the first paragraph of Background information on proper medication handling may improve understanding.
• Overall, this document contains all the following requirements for assignment 3:2:
  • The working title and title page
  • Table of contents
  • Introduction
  • Body section with headings and subheadings
  • At least two planned illustrations
  • In-text references in MLA style
  • List of conclusions and recommendations

Grammar and spelling:

• Overall, the document conveys definitions, concepts and ideas clearly. However, there are some sentence structure and grammar issues that can be resolved by doing a full self-reviewing; some examples are listed below:

Introduction:

Background information on proper medication handling:

• On page 4, the tense in “The result of improved access to medications will increase the demand and consumption for …” suggests that the result has not happened yet, whereas a former sentence indicates that the prerequisite “measures introduced” happened in the past. So providing more information to establish a clearer timeline, or correcting the tense inconsistency would reduce confusion.

Data section:

Public Survey Results

• On page 11, replacing the “in” with “by” in “This presents as an area that can be improved in providing more resources…” will eliminate a grammar issue.

Health Product Storage and Disposal Survey Discussion:

• On page 18, in “The results for both the public and pharmacists surveys both agree that there are inconsistencies on …”, rephrasing or removing either of the “both” can make the sentence more concise.

Organization:

• The title page correctly addresses the intended reader with an appropriate format.
• Most parts of the report clearly connected to one another at all points, building a strong case advocating for public knowledge campaigns and distributions of more dedicated containers.
• The overall structure of the report is complete with methodologically arranged headings and subheadings, enabling the reader to follow the narrative with ease. However, there are some areas that can be improved as listed below:

Introduction:

Background information on proper medication handling:

• Revising subheading II.B. Background information on proper medication handling into a more specific sentence, such as “Risks of improved access to medications”, may help the reader to quickly form a mental preview of this subsection.

Data Section:

Health Product Waste Streams:

• This subsection provides several literature sources to support the argument, but still has less narrative correlation with the previous subsection and the next subsection. Adding a few sentences in its previous subsection briefly mentioning this secondary approach can increase cohesion.

Style:

• The tone used in this document remains objective and professional.
• The tone is positive throughout the report, which builds a friendly and encouraging reading atmosphere for the reader.
• The document demonstrates you-attitude by stating the purpose of the report clearly and concisely at the start.
• In the summary subsection Views on Separated Medication Waste Containers Discussion, employing more logical reasoning instead of data analysis might guide the reader to establish a conclusion of their own. For example, coalescing the mixed opinions of both sides into one sentence, and then stressing the public’s preference in gaining access to dedicated medication will make a more concise and lucid comparison.

Design:

• All graphics are well-designed and effectively labelled, and are inserted into the correct places in-between texts to ensure optimal correlation. Although, increasing the font sizes in most figures and center-aligning the figures would make them easier to read.
• All paragraphs use double-line spacing, making the document reader-friendly and visually appealing.

Final Impressions:

Overall, this report draft is reader-friendly and provides a highly persuasive argument to implement a public medical waste education campaign and distribute additional personal medication waste containers. These measures could reduce careless mismanagement of medical waste and lessen biochemical contaminations to the environment. Improving the final report can be achieved by considering the following recommendations:

• Self-reviewing to correct structural inconsistencies like the tense in “The result of improved access to medications will increase the demand and consumption for …” on page 4.
• Editing any minor grammatical errors or redundant words that emerge during the self-reviewing, such as the ones listed above.
• Revising subheading II.B. Background information on proper medication handling into a more specific sentence to help the reader form a general idea about this subsection.
• Increasing cohesion for subsection III.B. Health Product Waste Streams.
• Incorporating slightly more logical reasoning in III.F. Views on Separated Medication Waste Containers Discussion.
• Reformatting the figures for greater readability.

It was a pleasure to read your excellent work on this assignment. Hopefully the suggestions in this review could help your self-review. Please contact me if you need any clarifications about said suggestions. I look forward to reading your final report.