Date: April 3, 2023
To: Carman Chu
From: Cheka Duheme
Subject: Peer Review of Carman’s Formal Report: Implementing Joining Online Waitlists and Viewing Wait Times Online at Cactus Club Cafes
Thank-you for submitting the draft of your formal report. Please check the document below for feedback.
Link to Assignment: Carman’s Draft of the Formal Report
First Impression
The formal report provides a clear understanding of the current wait-list/wait-time situation at Cactus Club Cafe. The formal report conducted and presented data from a survey that gathered insights from customers/employees. The survey data highlight that the current system is somewhat efficient, there is consensus towards adopting an online waiting system. However, the formal report would benefit from more analysis and discussion.
Organization
- All the necessary components are included.
- There is logical organization to the formal report.
- The headings and subheadings clearly outline the content.
- The headings and subheadings bolding/font size give guidance.
- The table of content is correctly numbered to each page.
- The pagination is correctly corresponding to each section.
Style
- Clear and concise writing is employed.
- The tone of the is friendly yet professional.
- Composing small sections of data/text made it easier to read.
- Consistently uses you-attitude when addressing the audience.
Content
Introduction Section
- The information provided in “Background on Cactus Club Cafe” and “Overview of Current Situation” gives excellent insights to the audience about the formal report. Especially if they’re unfamiliar with the restaurant or the situation.
- The sections “Purpose” and “Scope” could be combined to create a more cohesive reading experience. Combining these two sections would simplify the introduction and improve readability for the audience.
- A well-written description of how the survey was conducted can be found in the “Research Methods” section. Identifying if the survey and its data are primary or secondary, as well as where and how the survey has been distributed, may be helpful for the audience to determine the credibility of the formal report.
Analysis Section
- While this is found under another section of the report, the “Dissection of Methods” may benefit from being categorized under “Research Methods”. This can improve the fluidity of the formal report.
- Citing the relevant figures in the discussion can enhance the audience’s comprehension and interpretation of the statistics being discussed. This allows the audience to visualize and comprehend the information being given. Unfortunately, the section about “Analysis of Data” is still incomplete.
- The section “Limitations” discusses how the sample size is small and may not accurately represent customer/employee opinions. Also, it notes that the research is limited to Greater Vancouver. The formal report acknowledges that this may lead to some biases in the analysis. The formal report demonstrates transparency and commitment to accuracy under constraints.
Conclusion Section
- The section of “Recommendations” are concise and relevant, making them easy to understand and follow. They provide clear guidance on how to tackle wait-time/wait-list issues at Cactus Club Cafe.
- The section of “Discussion” suggests that more research should be conducted with a larger population to understand better public opinion about wait-times/wait-lists and the recent acquisition of Cactus Club Cafe by the Fuller Family. The formal report addresses its broad application, which is forward-thinking.
Grammar
Overall, grammar corrections are minimal in the formal report. Conjugate verbs in present-tense and be aware of issues with sentence flow:
- “…Customers who go into the restaurant and if told the wait times to exceed the time they were willing to wait have now wasted their time and efforts and must find an alternative..” to “When customers enter a restaurant and find that the wait time exceeds the time they were willing to wait, they have now wasted their time and effort..”
- “The purpose of this report is to gather insight into the current wait-time and wait-list situation at Cactus Club Cafes and propose a feasible solution to this problem..” to “This report aims to gather insight into the current issues with wait-time and wait-list at Cactus Club Cafes and propose a feasible solution..”
Design
- The figures are clearly labelled and support the content.
- The type of figures (pie/bar chart) used are appealing.
- The size of figures were a bit small and difficult to read.
- Enhancing resolution of the figures will improve legibility.
- Add more figures to meet the requirement of the assignment.
References
- It is important to include in-text citations to prevent plagiarism.
- The work-cited style (MLA) needs to be made clear.
- The work-cited needs to be alphabetized.
Concluding Comments
As a whole, the formal report was well-written and informative. Listed below are a few ways to improve your formal report:
- Making sure to stay in present-tense.
- Restructuring a few sentences for flow.
- Improving the quality of the figures used.
- Adding more figures to meet the requirement.
- Identifying the primary/secondary sources used.
- Expanding on discussion and analysis of surveys.
- Following the MLA guidelines for in-text citation.
- Following the MLA guidelines for the work-cited.
Thank-you for taking the time to read this peer review. I look forward to seeing the results of your hard work. Please feel free to contact me with any questions at cheka@student.ubc.ca
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