To: Corbyn Kwan, ENGL 301 Student
From: Aman Johal, ENGL 301 Student
Date: April 3, 2023
Subject: Peer Review of Corbyn Kwan’s Formal Report Draft: “Strategies to make meetings in Momonono more effective”
Thank you for submitting your Formal Report Proposal Draft and allowing me to peer review it. The report broaches an interesting and common issue regarding the ineffectiveness and redundancy of meetings in the workplace at your given company. Please see the following suggestions to further improve this proposal.
First Impressions
This report highlights an issue that you have experienced and explains the need to make meetings more efficient. Your report does a nice structuring job of breaking down the various meeting types, each of their problems and proposed solutions for each type. While this has the potential to confuse the reader, the technical jargon and the sheer multitude of meeting types, your report structure allowed me to segment each type and read your issues and recommendation independently. However, some of the data presented detracts from the strength of your reports and some of the organization makes it difficult to read. Stronger figures which are embedded in text and referred to frequently allow the reader to consistently ingrain your research findings and get on board with your proposal. Moreover, strengthen the source and transparency of your data could make your argument stronger.
Organization
• Appropriate title page included small spacing error with the inclusion of “Abstract”
• Table of contents very effective and the report is structured in a logical way
• Uniform use of headings and sub-headings (using bolded text as well) to separate areas of text will improve readability
• Figure captions within the data section will encourage a better understanding of the data presented
Introduction
• In the second paragraph “… there are typically problems associated…” – briefly highlight some of the key problems to introduce the reader to the issues as well
• Great structure of covering the different meeting types and goals of each
• In “Career goals” line there is a colon, but all other lines have dash
• The use of headings and subheadings in different font sizes and bold/not bold will make the delineation of sections easier to read, particularly for “Goals”
Data Section
• In part A “…effectiveness of 1-on-1 meetings is 6.75” qualifying this with units or an adjective to convey the meaning of this rating will make the point more clear to the reader
• Consider disclosing how many surveys were filled out to provide the reader with a sense of sample size
• Label figures and describe briefly with figure captions
• Reference figures in text by figure number and describe what the data is showing
• Numbering the problems of each meeting type is an effective way to display them. However, subsequently referring to the problems by their numbers was confusing to remember what issue was being discussed. Referring to the issue briefly by 1-2 words improves readability
• Survey question Q8 “How many days out of the work week have standups gone overtime?” displays two graphs representing yes or no, but is also quantified, consider a different visualization
• Great integration of secondary research to support solutions from meeting issues
Style
• The report keeps a professional and formal tone throughout
• In Conclusion when referring to the survey results on the ratings of meetings, quantifying the ratings with units or describing what a ~6 score entails will aid in reader visualization
• Recommendations tailored specifically for the company will lead to a more impactful report
Design
• Graphics are visually eye catching and meaningful
• Integrating graphics as figures within text with captions and referencing figures will improve the flow
• Spacing and font are appropriate
Overall, this is a great draft of a formal report. The report has excellent structure, talking the reader through three meeting types, their issues, corresponding data, and recommendations. With small changes in organization and the data section the effectiveness of the report will be greatly improved. Please consider revising the data section to improve the flow and improve the description of meaningfulness of the data collected. Furthermore, keep in mind the audience that this is directed to when suggesting recommendations and solutions. Improvements in your final report can be achieved by considering the following recommendations:
- In terms of organization utilizing different fonts and bolding text to create headings and subheadings will make reading and writing clearer.
- Reformatting figures for better readability
- Presenting data in a transparent manner to increase persuasiveness
- Maintaining the intended audience to ensure that issues and proposed solutions are interpreted accurately
I hope this peer review is helpful and serves as a good reference while you continue to develop your report. Please contact me at ajohal21@gmail.com if you have any questions.
Sincerely,
Aman
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