Peer Review of Chohyeon’s Formal Report Draft

To: Chohyeon Kim, English 301 Student Writer

From: Sonja Tang, English 301 Student Reviewer

Date: April 3rd, 2023

Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Proposal: Addressing Food Insecurity and Promoting Sustainable, Affordable Food Practices at UBC

Thank you for submitting this proposal for to investigate the prevalence of food insecurity among UBC students and identify strategies for promoting sustainable and affordable food practices on campus. You have done a great job in providing a good basis of examining the impacts of food insecurity among UBC students in order to develop recommendations for improving the availability and accessibility of sustainable, affordable food options on campus. Following are some suggestions for further improving this proposal:

First Impressions: 

A major strength to this proposal is how well it tackles the strategies for promoting sustainable and affordable food options on campus.  In particular, a great job in recognizing the increasing prevalence of food insecurity at UBC.

Organization:

The proposal is well organized in a logical and systematic manner. One suggestion:  Headings may be bolded in order for readers to following more easily

Introduction: 

It appears that the introduction adequately outlines the purpose and aims of the research report, including the sources of data and methods of analysis. The language used is concise and clear, with appropriate headings to guide the reader through the structure of the report. However, it may benefit from a more engaging tone or language to help grab the reader’s interest and increase engagement with the topic. Overall, the introduction appears to be a solid start to the research report, identifying the key objectives and laying out a clear plan for the remainder of the report.

Data Section (Proposed Solution):

The proposed solutions presented in the report are relevant to the problem statement of addressing food insecurity at the university level. Expanding the hours of operation of existing programs and offering a wider variety of food options can work towards providing students access to the resources they need. The anonymous process for accessing services can remove the barriers of stigma and make it easier for students to seek assistance. Additionally, targeted outreach initiatives and materials can increase awareness of existing programs among underrepresented groups.

The feasibility of these solutions may vary in terms of implementation requirements and potential limitations. For instance, extending the hours of operation may require additional funding, staffing, and logistical arrangements. Providing a wider variety of food options may need to consider budget constraints and the availability of suppliers. Anonymous services may require building trust with students and ensuring confidentiality. Targeted outreach initiatives may need to consider language barriers and cultural sensitivity and may require collaborations with student organizations and community partners.

Overall, the proposed solutions are a good starting point for addressing food insecurity in universities.

Scope:

This formal report research on of improving food accessibility and reducing food insecurity at UBC is very suitable to its purpose of promoting sustainable and affordable food practices on campus.

Conclusion:

Please refer to the following in regards to minor grammatical errors:

Introduction:

• • Add “was conducted” after “students” in this sentence: “An online survey of UBC students to gather data on their experiences…”

Data Section:

• • Move the word “options” in this sentence “the next most cited barrier is the High cost of food on campus options” to behind the word “food”
  • Add “their” after the word “to” in this sentence “…resources may also contribute to underutilization and hinder their effectiveness”
  • Replace the word “ensuring” with “assuring” in the sentence “Ensuring anonymity for participants in programs…”

Revisions: Please note the suggested revisions in this review that will improve the quality:

• elaborating more on how the feasibility of these solutions may vary in terms of implementation requirements and potential limitations
• correcting grammar.

Overall, this is an impressive proposal for an useful purpose that could help the UBC community to become healthier and more sustainable.  I hope these suggestions are helpful for the revision process.