Peer Review – Relational Database Definitions

To Corbyn

From : Justin

Peer Review

Term: Rational Database

Definition under review: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl30199c2022w2/2023/02/09/95170/

Thank you for submitting the three definitions assignment for lesson 1:3.  Please see the review of the document below with suggestions for improvements.

First Impressions:

This document is organized with a clear structure of most requirements including visuals. Overall, the document is complete with all three different definitions for the technical term “Relational Database”, but the expanded definition can be improved. We were required to use four expansion strategies including a visual. The first two paragraphs seem to both relate to the history of “Relational Database” which would make the expanded definition only having three expansion strategies. There might be a target audience to consider with less knowledge than computer science students. Please check below for detailed suggestions.

Organization:

•  A good introduction to the assignment with a clear description of intended readers and circumstances.
• This looks like a well-organized document; bolding the headings and adjusting the font size will further improve the organization and make it easier to read quickly.
• Consider adding sub-headings in the expanded definition to improve organization.
• The document ends abruptly, consider adding a short conclusion after the expanded definition.

Expression:

• Overall, the expression is clear and the tone is professional.
• More explanation in the expansion strategies in the expanded definition can help the audience understand the materials more easily.
• Some terms that may be inaccessible to non-computer science students.
  • Structured Query Language.
  • Tuples.
  • Attributes.

Content:

• The document is contains most of the assignment requirements;
  • A introduction
  • Three forms of definition
  • A visual
  • A works cited list

 Visuals:

• An expanded caption would benefit readers, especially if it highlighted the most important parts of the figures.

 Works Cited List:

•  All works cited correctly in MLA style.
• Missing one outside reference as three outside reference is needed as stated in the assignment page.

Grammar and Typos:

• No grammatical errors or typos found in the document.

 Concluding Comments:

 Your definition is interesting to read, informative and nicely organized. The writing helps the reader in understanding relational databases.Suggestions to improve the writings are:

• Changing font size for headings will improve readability
• Replace instances of technical terms with more accessible language or explain the technical term.
• Add a fourth expansion strategy in the expanded definition section.
• Expand on expansion strategies in expanded definition section to help audiences without a computer science background.
• Including a proper conclusion will be helpful
• Double checking Works Cited list

Thank you and please feel free to ask any questions, it has been a pleasure reviewing this work. Enjoy.