To: Angie Zhou (Author)
From: Michael Ly (Peer Reviewer)
Date: February 28, 2023
Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Proposal: Proposal for Installing a Mirror Inside Each Individual Change Room at Aritzia to Improve Customer Experience
Thank you for allowing me to review your proposal for determining the feasibility of installing a mirror inside each change room at Aritzia to improve the overall customer experience. The proposal justifies the concerns regarding the shared change room mirror model and provides a solid argument for installing a mirror in each Aritzia change room. Please see the following for comments and feedback for strengthening this proposal.
First Impressions:
The formal proposal is neatly structured and the layout is clear. The context, problem statement, and proposed solution is clearly introduced in the introduction paragraph, which flows well into the statement of problem section. There is a repeated emphasis throughout the proposal on an improved shopping experience if all change rooms had their own mirror. However, this point can be strengthened with the addition of counter arguments for the current change room model. It may be beneficial to add arguments for why a single mirror is advantageous for the overall customer experience.
Expression:
- Consistent and professional tone is maintained throughout the proposal
- Expression is clear and concise
Introduction:
This section succinctly introduces the reader to Aritzia and its customer centered approach to achieving customer satisfaction. The introduction to the context of the problem is well written and briefly describes the current issues with the current shared mirror change room model without too much detail. The use of the superlative “many” in the second to last sentence can be rephrased to avoid sounding exaggerated when no evidence is provided and to improve its persuasiveness.
Statement of Problem:
- The issues of a shared mirror change room model are conveyed clearly.
- The claims such as reduced customer satisfaction and increased customer returns address the need for investigation.
- There is opportunity to strengthen this section by providing examples of other clothing retailers that do have mirrors in all change rooms and by highlighting the differences in the customer experience.
- The use of the superlative “many” in the first sentence can be removed to avoid sounding exaggerated and to improve persuasiveness of the argument.
Proposed Solution:
- The proposed solution of installing mirrors in every change room is stated clearly.
- The proposed solution can be strengthened by considering counter arguments with rebuttals to justify why this solution is the superior option for Aritzia.
- The persuasiveness of the argument can be improved with more emphasis on the positive benefits of having mirrors in each change room.
- There can be more discussion and consideration for whether the addition of mirrors will increase customer satisfaction and if that will necessarily translate to more sales for the company.
Scope:
- The questions posed are phrased well without the use of pronouns and are relevant in measuring customer experience.
Methods:
- The use of online surveys as a primary data source is a great option for ensuring answers are honest and customers can answer with anonymity.
Qualifications:
- Qualification statement is well phrased and emphasizes the importance of consumer opinion.
- Consider moving the sentence regarding customer complaints to the statement of problem to ensure the qualification section is consistent.
Conclusion:
- The conclusion restates the purpose and importance of the study well.
- An additional statement briefly restating the limitations and missing benefits from the current single mirror change room model may assist in summarizing the importance of the investigation for the reader.
Grammar and Typos:
- There is a minor typo in the spelling of Aritzia in the qualifications section of the document.
Concluding Comments:
The proposal has been an enjoyable topic to read and warrants further investigation. Please see below for a summary of revisions that can be made to improve this proposal.
- The addition of arguments for the current shared mirror model to improve the persuasiveness of the argument.
- Consider removing the use of superlatives such as the word “many” to reduce sounding exaggerated and to improve the persuasive strength of the argument.
- Consider including examples of other retailers that do not have a shared mirror model and how that experience differs from Aritzia.
- Emphasizing more positive aspects about installing mirrors in each change room as opposed to the negative to improve the persuasiveness of the report
- Remove or move the sentence regarding customer complaints from the qualification section to the statement of problem section to improve consistency.
- Correct minor typo of “Aritzia” in the qualification section.
- Briefly restate limitations of the shared mirror model or benefits of the individual change room mirror model to neatly summarize the important aspects of the investigation.
Your proposal was a pleasure to read. Please do not hesitate to reach out to me if there are any questions or concerns.
Link to original document:https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl30199c2022w2/2023/02/23/2-1-proposal-for-installing-a-mirror-inside-each-individual-change-room-at-aritzia-to-improve-customer-experience/
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