To: Jennifer Dunbar, ENGL 301 Student Writer
From: Karolina Atehortua, ENGL 301 Student Reviewer
Peer Review: Formal Proposal for the Implementation of Electric Bicycle and Scooter Rules on the Arbutus Greenway
Thank you for submitting this proposal for implementation of Electric Bicycle and Scooter Rules on the Arbutus Greenway. You have done a great job in providing three possible solutions for elevating safety measures on Arbutus Greenway. Below are some suggestions for further improving this proposal.
First Impression:
A major strength of this proposal is acknowledging the risks associated with electric bicycles and e-scooters usage both for the pedestrians and the rider. The three solutions take into account the safety of both the rider and the pedestrian and address the issue on various levels.
- One area of improvement would be elaborating more about the solution regarding educating drivers and placing signage. Additionally, in the method section mentioning the approximate amount of time that will be spent on Arbutus Greenway over the course of the two days would be helpful to comprehend the frequency of e-scooter users.
Organization:
- The introduction of the assignment is clear, with required background for understanding the issue included.
- The overall organization of the document is easy to read, due to the use of bolded headings and numbers when listing different aspects of the proposal.
- There is a correctly formatted APA 7 reference list
Expressions:
- The tone is professional, and the main points are effectively delivered.
- The scope provides six accurate questions for learning about the issue in more detail:
– Perhaps, adding a question about public opinion of current regulations on Arbutus Greenway, will help identify the demand for the proposed regulations.
- The addition of personal experience (living in Kerrisdale for 16 years and using Arbutus Greenway) in the qualifications section reveals a vested interest in the proposed solution.
- Sentence structure and grammar are chosen appropriately, with no mistakes observed.
Content:
The document is complete according to the assignment requirements; it includes
- An introduction with a background of Arbutus Greenway and it’s intended usage.
- An appropriate intended audience.
- A clear statement of the problem.
- A few realistic solutions to the problem.
- A scope with six specific questions that will be used to focus the proposal and assess the feasibility of developing the solution.
- Primary and secondary methods that will be used to facilitate the proposed solution.
- Qualifications add personal context in the proposal.
- The brief conclusion summarizes why the proposal would be beneficial to the public.
Grammar and Typos:
Overall, the proposal is written in a formal tone, includes all necessary information, and contains no major grammatical or punctuation errors. However, there are a few areas which can be more concise:
Introduction:
- Second paragraph, first sentence can be shorter: “This paved pathway has grown in popularity and is used by residents and visitors of all ages and abilities”
Statement of the Problem
- Second sentence, can be reworded to be a little bit shorter: “While sharing the bike lane on the greenway is currently legal, there is no signage indicating speed limits or any physical structures to enforce slower speeds and safety”
Qualifications
- First sentence can be shorter: “I’ve lived in Kerrisdale for 16 years and am currently a third-year Psychology student at UBC who frequently uses the Arbutus Greenway”
Concluding Comments:
Overall, great job on your proposal. All components of the assignment were followed and included in the proposal. The organization is clear and there were no grammatical/puctuation errors observed. The only area of improvement is rewording some sentences to be more concise. The solutions provided are definitely a good idea for establishing safer movement in the Arbutus Greenway area.
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