To: Justin Tang, English 301 Student Writer
From: Aman Johal, English 301 Student Reviewer
Date: February 28, 2023
Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Proposal: The Feasibility of Implementing Express Lines at Tim Hortons that are located on UBC Vancouver Campus
Thank you for your proposal on implementing express lines at Time Hortons at the UBC Vancouver campus. I have taken the time to read your proposal and have highlighted some key points as well as suggestions for improvements below.
First Impressions:
The proposal serves to address an interesting issue, one which plagues many students. The proposal builds a strong case by touching on the cost-savings of Tim Hortons, as food security is a large issue at UBC for students. The contents of the proposal are all accounted for and the presentation is well-organized.
Organization:
• The organization of the proposal is excellently laid out with bolded sub-headings for each topic
• Great job numbering the five areas of inquiry in the scope, as this number (5) is easily referenced later in the proposal
Introduction:
• Introduction does an excellent job explaining the current environment and how the issue of waiting for coffee can arise
• Outlining that Tim Hortons is an affordable option could be further highlighted. Previously there is mention that UBC is home to many coffee shops, so the option of waiting at Tim Hortons for a long time is more feasible than going elsewhere (because of cost concerns)
• Please double check Tim Hortons as having the most locations on campus, as I believe Starbucks has 4 location (Agronomy, Book Store, Fred Kaiser, and LIFE)
• Certain Tim Horton’s locations have implemented an express lane option, perhaps this can serve to strengthen the argument for more express lanes
Statement of Problem:
• Large sweeping statement regarding all the wait times at Tim Hortons, include an anecdotal disclaimer (“From personal experience…”)
• Excellent mention of Tim Hortons price being appealing for students
• Another problem, students with condensed schedules may not be able to wait the 5, 10, 15 minute period for a coffee between classes
Proposed Solution:
• Very interesting and viable solution presented. Taking excellent care to outline the maximum and minimum order size for an express lane
• Solution supported well with primary literature outlining customer satisfaction
Scope:
• 5 areas of inquiry outlined which covers the entirety of the proposal well
• Keep in mind Blue Chip café and Tim Hortons in Sauder have express lines, this can serve as strong comparative data to non-express line Tim Hortons’
Methods:
• Using survey statistics and interviews as primary research is a reasonable method
• Consider broadening interviews to Blue Chip Café management team as they have implemented an express line
• Secondary sources relating to the strengths and weaknesses of express lines (with regards to customer satisfaction) is good
Grammar and Technical Errors:
• Be careful with using the plural of “Tim Hortons’” when referring to the group of three of them on campus
o Under Introduction: “However, the Tim Hortons on campus groups…”
o Under Statement of Problem: “Currently, all the Tim Hortons on campus…”
o Under Proposed Solution: “The Tim Hortons located on campus…”
o Under Methods: “…interviews from the management team of the Tim Hortons located on campus”
o Under Conclusion: “Tim Hortons on UBC campus would…”
Change to The collection of Tim Hortons café’s on campus…
• Works cited done in correct MLA style
Concluding Comments:
• Very interesting and relatable proposal
• Be mindful when referring to multiple Tim Hortons on campus as a collective
• Utilize current express lanes in your methods and scope to highlight the advantages (and disadvantages)
• Excellent use to support the proposal by remarking on saving student’s money
• Consider expanding to consider the stress imposed by rushing to Tim Hortons in-between class
Thank you and please feel free to ask any questions, it has been a pleasure reviewing this work. I look forward to reading the full report. Enjoy
Link to Justin’s Report: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl30199c2022w2/2023/02/21/formal-report-proposal/
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