Date: February 28 2023
To: Cheka Duheme
From: Alethea Kramer
I enjoyed reading your formal report proposal, it was interesting and well written. Please take your time to review the feedback I have provided below.
Link To Formal Report Proposal
First Impression
- The proposal is well structured with clear organization
- The writing style and flow of information is well thought out and introduces information appropriately
- The problem feels urgent and addressable, although I recommend addressing a specific body within the university who has the power to influence the Centre of Accessibility
Organization & Expression
- The writing is professional and has a pleasant tone
- Sentences are well formed, however I recommend reducing unnecessary words and sentences
- In the introduction sentences two and three both contain the phrase “best possible learning resources” which is repetitive
- The sections are well named and structured
- Titling each solution and method of research by using a bold style and colons is effective
Proposed Problem
- There is a grammatical error in the first sentence please revise
- The problem seems urgent and relevant
- The author breaks down the the problem into subproblems which is clarifying
Proposed Solution
- The formatting is effective and aids a reader in summarizing and recalling each solution
- The explanation of each solution seems to reiterate the problems it aims to address
- Rewrite the explanation to expand on the potential of each solution
Scope of Research
- The list is comprehensive and well thought out
- Reduce the number of points by combining questions such as one and two by asking for the strengths and weaknesses
- These questions seem relevant to producing legitimate research that is comprehensive of the proposed problem
Methods of Research
- The formatting of the list is effective
- The primary research methods are appropriate, well thought out, and achievable
- The explanations of each method justify the benefit very well
Qualifications
- The author is well qualified for this area of study
Grammar and Technical Errors
- Although we have a note-taking program in place at the university, there is a lack of resources for note-takers to assist students with disabilities in writing notes in their courses.
- Students with or without disabilities should have access to the best possible resources to facilitate their learning.
- This research would allow me to examine and analyze the current opinions of note-takers and students on the note-taking program while highlighting note-taker’s valuable (and rewarding) work.
Concluding Comments
The report proposal is well written and interesting to read. Here are a few suggestions for improvement:
- Consider directing your research to a specific body within the university
- Reduce the number of research questions by avoiding repetition
- Address the grammatical errors and improve sentence structure and flow
- Rewrite the proposed solutions section to expand on each solution rather than reiterating the problems
Thank you for the attention you have given your formal report! I look forward to seeing you progress on this topic. Please let me know if any clarification is needed.
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