To: Brian Wong
From: Riya Kathuria
Peer Review: Brian’s Formal Research Proposal
First Impressions:
Overall, your proposal is well-organized and easy to follow. However, there are a few areas that could use improvement in terms of clarity and formatting.
Organization:
The headings and subheadings are well-defined and organized. However, there are a few inconsistencies in formatting, such as the use of different font sizes and styles. For example, the font size of your headings should be the same throughout the proposal. Additionally, you could benefit from adding a table of contents to make it easier for the reader to navigate through your proposal.
Expression:
The tone and expression used throughout your proposal are clear and professional. However, there are a few areas where you could make improvements. In the introduction section, you could provide more context on the problem you’re trying to solve, such as the current situation and why it’s a problem. Also, in the methodology section, you could be more specific about how you plan to collect data and what methods you will use.
Content:
The content of your proposal is well-researched and relevant. You’ve clearly outlined the problem and provided a detailed solution that addresses it. However, there are a few areas where you could improve the content. For example, you could provide more detail about the specific study spots you plan to highlight, as well as the criteria for selecting them. Additionally, you could provide more information about the potential benefits of using lesser-known study spots, such as reduced noise levels or better study environments. To elaborate further, here are a few suggestions:
- Clarify the purpose: This assignment does not clearly state the purpose of the content. It is important to make it clear to the reader why they should read the content and what they will gain from it.
- Improve organization: The content appears to be unorganized and lacks a clear structure. It is important to use headings, subheadings, and bullet points to make the content easier to read and understand. Example 1: Original: “I will interview three experts in the field and share their insights in the report.” Improvement: This sentence could be improved by being more specific about who the experts are and why they are qualified to provide insights. For example: “I will interview three industry leaders who have a combined 50 years of experience in the field and have published numerous articles and studies on the topic. Their insights will provide valuable perspective for the report.”
- Increase depth: This assignment seems to be lacking in-depth research and analysis. It is important to include relevant details that will have a stronger foundation and more compelling arguments.
Methods:
The methods you’ve chosen for collecting data are appropriate and well-suited to the research question you’re addressing. However, you could be more specific about how you plan to recruit participants for your survey and ensure that your sample is representative of the larger population.
Grammar and Typos:
There are a few grammatical errors and typos throughout your proposal that could be corrected with careful proofreading. For example, in the introduction section, you wrote “due to the high traffic at IKB,” when it should be “due to the high traffic in IKB.”
Concluding Comments:
Overall, your proposal is well-organized and provides a clear solution to the problem you’re addressing. However, there are a few areas where you could improve the clarity and specificity of your writing, as well as the formatting of your proposal. Keep up the good work, and be sure to proofread your proposal carefully before submitting it. Please reach out if need be!
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