Hello 301;
As I complete my review of your Peer Reviews for Report Proposals I am finding this persistent error that is the most difficult to learn how to correct. Please take some time to revise your peer reviews and learn how to include necessary details before the big task of peer-reviewing the First Drafts of your reports, thank you.
The error is using general terms (the topic/ the issue/ the problem/ the solution) without providing any details – at all. The trick to solving this error is to use nouns that name: What is the problem? What is the issue? What are the proposed solutions?
For example. “The document starts with an introduction and a statement of the problem to provide sufficient information for readers on the topic, but an introduction should also include the cause of the problem along with the background.”
How would you name the problem? –> in this case the student is concerned with ‘Time restraints’
Rewrite: “The proposal begins with a description of the time restraints students face between classes (ten minutes) due to distances between buildings on campus.
Example: “The document contains enough information about the topic but should also provide more details about the specific readers of the report who have the authority to implement the recommendations.”
- How can you name ‘the topic’?
Rewrite: The Proposal describes the time restraints, and the anxiety students experience, but the description of the reading audience is missing.
Example: “Areas of inquiry in Scope are described with a numbered list.”
What is the scope of the inquiry?
Rewrite: “The scope of the inquiry includes measuring distances and time taken to travel between classes, as well as how the weather impacts travel times.
For Example:
Contents: The document contains all requirements of the proposal: < –? But, above the review indicates the audience description is missing(?)
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- Introduction
- Statement of Problem
- Proposed Solution
- Scope
- Methods
- Qualifications
- Conclusion
The above list tells the reader the content is included in the proposal – but what is the content??
Rewrite: Contents: The document contains all requirements of the proposal except a description of the audience:
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- Introduction: Describes distances between classes on UBC campus
- Statement of Problem: time restraints for students with courses spread out around campus and resulting anxiety.
- Proposed Solution: Increase the 10-minute time between classes.
- Scope: includes measuring distances and time taken to travel between classes, as well as how the weather impacts travel times.
- Methods: Surveys and observations
- Qualifications: Personal experience
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