Revised Peer Review: Formal Report Draft

To: Sangita Dutta, ENGL 301 Student, <sdutta06@student.ubc.ca>

From: Emilyn Sim, ENGL 301 Student, <esim01@student.ubc.ca>

Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Draft for Extending Ergonomic Setup at UBC: an Assessment of Ergonomic Benefits and Feasibility of Implementation

Date: March 31, 2023

 

I appreciated reading your report “Extending Ergonomic Setup at UBC: an Assessment of Ergonomic Benefits and Feasibility of Implementation”. As a current UBC student who utilizes campus study spaces, I clearly see the value of your research and recommendations. Below you can find feedback and suggestions:

Initial Impressions:

I found the report to be an informative and well executed read. The tone is informative and professional, with an objective tone that presents the study’s findings and implications in a clear and concise manner. The overall effectiveness is high, as it is effectively structured in a way that makes sense. The recommendations provided are well-thought-out and practical, and offer a clear path forward. They are clearly informed by the information and research presented in the rest of the report. The design and organization of your visuals is a major strength that support your writing well. There are some errors in structure and formatting that can be improved upon for future iterations.

Title Page:

• The title page is clear exemplifying professional legibility.
• The title clearly introduces the content of the overall report.

Abstract:

• The abstract considers the intended audience by providing an introductory definition of ergonomics.
• The purpose of the report is introduced strongly by describing the impact of poor ergonomics on health.

Introduction:

• In the introduction the background information on the impact of ergonomics on health and well-being is informative and well-supported with references skillfully providing a strong background for the intended audience.
• The research methods and scope of inquiry are clearly defined which are well documented in the rest of the report.
• The purpose of the report could be more persuasive. You have done an incredible job of providing background information and sources supporting your argument, the purpose could draw from this to emphasize your argument. 

Data Section:

• The supporting images were extremely valuable to the reader for understanding the context of your report.
• The section of the report that was the most informative and persuasive was Data Section A in combination with Student Opinion on Current Setup. Data Section A provided clear evidence of the insufficient ergonomic study spaces at UBC currently, and your survey data supported this strongly through student opinion. 
• The figures from your survey are very easy to understand and well suited to your report.
• A compelling lack of awareness and education regarding the importance of proper ergonomics among students has been identified, and has provided compelling reasons for why educational institutions should prioritize educating students on this topic.

Cost Analysis and Potential Drawbacks:

• The cost analysis is thorough and informative. The information presented is extremely relevant to the intended audience.
• The potential drawbacks section could provide more detailed solutions or strategies to address the identified challenges.

Organization

• The flow of the document is effective in communicating the purpose of the report and demonstrating the need for a solution.
• To improve reader understanding Student Opinion on Current Setup section is formatted the same way as the data sections and could be clarified as being either a part of that data section or its own section. 
• There was a small typo where Data Section C skipped to Data Section E. 
• While Data section E was valuable in recommending how to implement more ergonomic study spaces at UBC, I think it would fit better in a final overall section about the logistics of implementing ergonomic set up. Your final sections cost analysis, and potential drawbacks, both address implementation and therefore could all be subsections together of a larger implementation section. 
• Consider adding a table of contents and page numbers for the benefit of the reader if they choose to review your report.
• All of the information provided is relevant and contributes to the overall effectiveness of your report. 

Conclusion

I thoroughly enjoyed reading your work. The skill you demonstrate in your writing through professional tone is evident, and your design choices are wonderful supporting artifacts for your work. The subject you have chosen is relevant and worthy of the research you have created. To strengthen your work further I have made the following suggestions:

• Consider providing more detailed solutions or strategies to avoid potential drawbacks in the implementation process.
• Try clarifying whether the Student Opinion on Current Setup section is part of the data section or its own section.
• Correcting the typo where Data Section C skipped to Data Section E will improve your headings.
• Consider including a larger implementation section with subsections for cost analysis, potential drawbacks, and recommendations for implementing ergonomic setups at UBC.

Thank you for your work and the passion you have demonstrated in supporting healthier study spaces for UBC students. If you have any questions don’t hesitate to contact me at esim01@student.ubc.ca.

Sangita’s Formal Report Draft