To: Chris Wu, English 301 Student Writer
From: Long You, English 301 Student Reviewer
Date: Apr 16, 2023
Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Draft: Improving Sleep Quality and Well-Being: A Proposal for a Comprehensive Sleep Promotion Program for UBC Students
I appreciate your submission of the draft report aimed at enhancing the sleep quality and well-being of UBC students. Your efforts in laying a strong foundation for a holistic program to promote healthy sleep habits to foster the well-being of UBC students are commendable. Here are a few recommendations to further enhance the report:
First Impressions:
The report is notably strong in addressing poor sleep patterns, particularly among UBC students. It deserves recognition for acknowledging the unique challenges posed by the academic environment of a university and how it can impact the well-being of certain students.
- Expanding on the literature review and research methods, as well as providing more detail on the categories of survey used, would be an area for improvement. Additionally, providing more elaboration on literature review on academic and social factors such as the link between depression and lack of sleep would help to highlight the associated health risks and impact on academic performance. Equally important are the benefits of an improved sleep pattern.
Organization:
The report is well-structured with a clear and systematic approach. The headings are appropriately formatted and titled.
- One recommendation is to include two visuals that showcase the survey analysis and the underlying causes for the proposed promotion. This will emphasize the significance of the proposal for UBC.
Introduction:
The introduction effectively explains the effects of sleep on UBC students and the advantages associated with better sleep quality. It also clearly presents the issue and the research inquiries, which will be further elaborated upon in subsequent comments.
- One possible suggestion would be to provide further descriptions of the additional benefits of having quality sleep, which could help emphasize the significance of the topic.
- Including a reference at the conclusion of the subsequent sentence would enhance its credibility: “Research has shown that up to 60% of university students experience poor sleep quality, leading to daytime sleepiness, fatigue, and decreased academic performance.”
Data Section:
As mentioned above, it would help to expand on the research methods involved with the lack of sleep among UBC students.
- Including comprehensive survey categories that examine the relationship between inadequate sleep patterns and decreased academic performance, as well as how this connection impacts the physical and mental well-being of students.
- Enhancing the expression of data analysis by incorporating visual aids in the report.
Proposed Solution:
The section effectively argues that sleep awareness education is a viable solution to the issues raised in the research questions. Additionally, proposing a strategic approach for a comprehensive promotion modality that combines education, body relaxation techniques, and both online and in-person settings, demonstrates a logical and promising solution. Overall, well done!
Conclusion:
The assessment to determine the sleep quality and well-being of UBC students is highly appropriate for the investigation’s purpose and is likely to produce relevant results. The summary findings and overall recommendations are well-presented, demonstrating excellent work.
References:
An excellent list of MLA citation.
Grammar and Technical Errors:
Please refer to the following in regards to minor grammatical errors:
Introduction:
- In Section E, the list of objectives could be reformatted as bullet points for easier readability.
Conclusion:
- In Section A, The word “sleep” is repeated twice in the sentence, which seems to be a typo.
Revisions: Please consider the recommended revisions in this review, as they might enhance the overall quality:
- Conducting a more extensive literature review and analyzing the benefits of proposed solutions..
- Providing a detailed research method and analyzing survey data, particularly focusing on the correlation between poor sleep patterns and health risks of UBC students.
- Including two visuals that will help to present the data analysis in a clear and accessible way.
- Highlighting both primary and additional benefits of the proposed solutions.
- Revising and editing the document for grammar and clarity.
In summary, this research report is a remarkable piece of work for a crucial investigation that has the potential to enhance the health and academic performance of numerous UBC students. Additionally, it offers valuable insights for students in other colleges. I trust that these suggestions will be beneficial in the revision process, and if you have any questions or require further clarification, please do not hesitate to contact me. Excellent work.
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