To: Gabriella Generoso, Student Writer
From: Junelie Guevara, Student Reviewer
Date: April 3, 2023
Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Draft: Voter Turnout Among First-Year University Students
First Impressions
Thank you for submitting this proposal for determining the feasibility of improving voter turnout for first-year university students. The report outlines specific and foundational evidence for increasing accessible resources for university students to learn more about political parties. Please see the peer review below for feedback.
Content
INTRODUCTION
The introduction outlines the purpose of the report for improving voter turnout among first-year university students. The introduction includes specific background information regarding current participants of first-year university students during elections.
Background information of Voter Turnout for First Year University Students
The content is insightful and informative. Section A specific issues surrounding lack of voter turnout for a specific age range of 18 to 24 years old.
Scope
Scope of Inquiry includes insightful investigative questions for the report.
Methods
Survey collection as primary sources and Elections Canada as a secondary source are credible and relevant to the report.
To enhance clarity of content within Introduction section, please consider following suggestions:
- Defining technical terms such as by-election and general election
- Including a “Description of Problem” section within the Introduction
- Integrating block paragraphs
- Rewriting “The results are analysed, compared to, and supported by current research, and recommendations are made on how to better support first year university students to make informed decisions when voting in a Provincial General Election or by-election, and ultimately increase voter turnout in this demographic” to be concise.
DATA SECTION
Graphs and interpretations of graphs were informative and easy to understand. Content within each subheading was detailed and reiterates the survey respondents’ data.
- Grammar and sentence structure in introduction, Section B
CONCLUSION AND PROPOSED SOLUTIONS
Conclusion is concise and reiterates the survey data in correlation to recommendations to improve voter turnout among university students. Following suggestions below can improve flow of proposed solutions:
- Separating Proposed Solutions into different subheadings to avoid lengthy paragraphs.
Organization
Organization of draft and content is clear and effective. Table of Contents and pages are properly numbered. Headings and subheadings concisely describe content. Excellent transition and cohesive flow when reading. Points are connected and expand on previous sections.
Style
Tone is objective and demonstrates a YOU attitude. While the paragraph provides valuable insight, concise sentences can enhance its readability and impact. Please see suggestion below for Section A – Existent Knowledge Before Election Day of Data Section
- “First time voters can also self-educate on social media platforms like Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, which are commonly used by university students and are often the primary source of news and information for them.” can be changed to “First time voters such as university students, can gain more knowledge on social media platforms (ie. Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook) as these are common primary sources of news and information.”
Design
Layout of the report is reader-friendly. Graphics are labeled correctly but the following adjustments can improve visual flow:
- Bolding figure labels to make it more visible.
- Resizing Figure 2 would visually minimize the large gap between pages 6 and 7.
Revisions
Please note the suggested revisions in this review that will improve the quality:
- Defining what by-election and general elections are.
- Rephrasing sentences to be concise.
- Separating “Proposed Solutions” into different subheadings to have improve flow of content and avoid lengthy paragraphs.
- Implementing block paragraphs.
The report draft was interesting and demonstrates realistic solutions to improve voter turnout among university students. Please do not hesitate to contact me if there are any questions or concerns. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this report draft.
Link to Gabriella Generoso’s Report Draft: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl30199c2022w2/2023/03/30/memo-formal-report-draft/
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