Peer Review of Karen Okoyomon’s Formal Report Draft

Standard

The purpose of this peer review of a formal report assignment was to analyze my peer’s formal report draft and to provide constructive and critical feedback while being positive. I learned through observing the organization, content of the report and the citations of the document, allowed for me to improve my own formal report.

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MEMORANDUM

 

To: Karen Okoyomon, ENGL 301 Student
From: Daniel Tsui, ENGL 301 Student
Date: November 19, 2021
Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Draft

Initial Impressions

  • The overall formal report draft is well written and detailed
  • It contains the necessary details in the front page, and a table of contents
  • Works cited and appendix sections are present and ordered correctly

Introduction

  • Introduction clearly highlights the issue presented
  • Inclusion of statistics in the introduction shows the scope of the issue
  • I believe that the A section is incomplete as the sentence at the end does not finish
  • Double spacing should be consistent, C section is double the spacing of all the others

Data Section

  • Highlights that test anxiety is a real problem and what may be the triggers of it
  • Appropriately uses citation from Oxford Learning
  • Figures presented are clear and legends are labeled
  • Inclusion of actual percentages in the pie charts are very helpful
  • Some page formatting could be used to make it easier to read by the reader
  • Using actual interview from a student at UBC is a good data source, paired with survey questions are very helpful to understand the impacts
  • Labels for the figures should be capitalized for better understanding

Conclusion

  • Summary recaps back the issues stated and the findings
  • Recommendations are present but incomplete

End Matter

  • Although not required, it is best to turn links into hyperlinks for easy access to the sources by the reader

Structure & Organization

  • This report is well organized and has appropriate sections for ease of reading to the reader
  • Each big heading is appropriately labeled, and its content is relevant within the headings

Final Thoughts

  • This formal report draft is well written and detailed albeit missing some sentences
  • Generally, minor edits are required, and some sentences need to be finished
  • Final formal report should be ready to be presented once suggestions have been fixed

 

I enjoyed reading through your formal report. Thanks for taking the time to organize as well as highlighting the importance of student wellbeing. Should you have any questions, please message me!

 

All the best,

Daniel Tsui

301 Karen Okoyomon Report Rough Draft

 

Business Letters: Complaint and Bad News Letters

Standard

The purpose of this business letter assignment was to write a complaint and response letter back to the complainant. I learned writing from both the customer and the customer service’s perspectives and to treat both parties in a respectful and professional way.

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Complaint Letter:

 

Daniel Tsui

2205 Lower Mall

Vancouver, BC V6T 1Z4

 

November 12, 2021

 

John Appleseed, Restaurant Manager

Nori Bento & Udon

6055 University Blvd.

Vancouver, BC V6T 0C5

 

Subject: Raw poultry served in Take-Out Order

 

Dear Mr. Appleseed:

On November 3rd, during evening time, I had ordered a take-out chicken bento box at the Nori Bento & Udon located on UBC campus.

I had already walked back to my residence after picking up the order. As I was about to eat the chicken, I noticed that the piece I was holding was still raw.  Had I been more distracted or busy while eating, I could have eaten the raw chicken and develop food poisoning symptoms. Due to lack of time, I did not have a chance to walk back to your establishment and have my order exchanged. In the end, I threw out all the chicken and was left with only the side dishes. I am very disappointed in the lack of care towards thoroughly cooking meats to appropriate temperatures.

I truly hope you can take this information seriously and advise the cooking staff to be more attentive and to ensure that the cook staffs are following appropriate FOODSAFE standards set by the province of BC.  I understand that many orders may come through, but raw poultry is nothing to be taken lightly.

Because of this, I am requesting a full refund of $10.49 for my troubles encountered. To support my claim, I have enclosed my receipt and a photo of the raw chicken received from your establishment.

I hope you can make changes to how meats are cooked in a timely manner as many UBC students could get severely ill from consuming your food. I do hope that I am able to regain trust in your food soon.

 

Thank you,

Daniel Tsui

Daniel Tsui

Enclosure: Order receipt from November 3, 2021

Enclosure: Photo of raw poultry served

 


Bad News Letter:

 

John Appleseed, Restaurant Manager

Nori Bento & Udon

6055 University Blvd.

Vancouver, BC V6T 0C5

 

November 13, 2021

 

Daniel Tsui

2205 Lower Mall

Vancouver, BC V6T 1Z4

 

Subject: Follow up on Raw poultry served in Take-Out Order

 

Dear Mr. Tsui:

Thank you for taking the time to voice your concerns with our establishment at Nori Bento & Udon. I am terribly sorry for the experience you have encountered during your last visit. I hope you have not fallen sick because of our food. I apologize for the inconvenience caused.

I have personally reviewed your complaint and have made the necessary changes needed to reinforce FOODSAFE standards in the kitchen. I do understand that being served raw poultry is most definitely unacceptable and does not adhere to our company’s standard.

I have refunded $10.49 directly to your credit card regarding the unpleasant experience you had with us.  Additionally, I have enclosed two 100% off vouchers for your next two orders, to a maximum of $20 per voucher.

Again, I truly apologize for the terrible experience you have received from our establishment, and we hope that the vouchers are enough to regain your trust again.

 

Sincerely,

John Appleseed

John Appleseed

Restaurant Manager @ Nori Bento & Udon

 

Enclosure: Nori Vouchers

Memorandum to Evan Crisp

Standard

The purpose of this assignment was to analyze an email written by Evan Crisp addressed to a professor. Most importantly, it explored the usage of you-attitude. I learned that the usage of you-attitude can greatly change the tone of the message and is a better way to communicate professionally and cordially.

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MEMORANDUM

 

To:                   Evan Crisp, prospective ENGL 301 Student

From:              Daniel Tsui, ENGL 301 Student

Date:               November 7, 2021

Subject:          Tips for Writing Emails in a Professional and Effective Manner

 

Hello Evan,

Here is a compiled list of suggestions below for best practices when communicating to a professor.  It is imperative to write an email that is both professional and cordial especially when asking for favours and or help.

Suggestions for professional emails:

  • Include an appropriate subject header for the email briefly describing the issue (i.e. Requesting to be registered in ENGL 301 Section XXX – Evan Crisp). This will ensure that the email is not treated as spam.
  • Use the university provided student email to send requests to professors as it may be treated for junk otherwise.
  • Address the email with the appropriate title and name (i.e. Dear Professor Lambert).
  • Ensure the text breaks of the email is formatted correctly and not at random spots.
  • Appropriate wording is needed to show utmost respect for the receiver of the email as favours are being asked.
  • Avoid demanding a specific timeframe from the receiver on when to reply.
  • Eliminate use of personal matters in this email that may affect the attitude towards this request (e.g. Mexico and beach).
  • Eliminate use of acronyms within the email (e.g. asap, ttfn).
  • Ending the message with an appropriate closing line along with full name and student number.

Writing a professional and cordial email is critical to getting a response in a timely manner. Following these tips should allow for  better written emails with utmost respect to the receiver of the email. If there are any questions, please email me.

All the best,

Daniel

Ten Best Practices for LinkedIn

Standard

The purpose of this LinkedIn assignment was to ensure that we knew how to effectively use LinkedIn as a networking tool while maintaining a professional profile for others to see . I learned that specific details can lead to greater outcomes for job leads.

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MEMORANDUM

 

To:                   The Empirical Pen, ENGL 301 Technical Writing Group

From:              Daniel Tsui, ENGL 301 Student

Date:               October 22, 2021

Subject:           Ten Best Practices for Using LinkedIn

 

Dear members of The Empirical Pen team,

Through my research, LinkedIn is a very valuable resource for recruiting potential candidates and finding job opportunities. LinkedIn is used worldwide and is considered the go-to for networking with people who work for potential companies you may want to work with.  Below are ten of my best LinkedIn practices to help your profile stand out:

  • Ensure your profile is filled out to the best of your knowledge with your full education history and/or license, certifications
  • Make sure to include a profile picture that is appropriate and professional
  • Be sure to highlight your achievements and previous roles in the field
  • Ensure your profile is free of grammatical errors
  • List out skillsets that you possess
  • Inclusion of any voluntary experiences
  • Have a short and concise headline that accurately reflects yourself in a few words
  • References and endorsements are very valuable as they reflect accountability on both parties
  • Communicate in a professional manner with professional speech when interacting with potential recruiters or candidates
  • Take advantage of the alumni network when networking with others

I hope these ten best practices of mine can help you get started to not just a great LinkedIn profile, but an excellent one. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me!

 

Works Cited

“Best Practices for Engaging Your Alumni on LinkedIn.” Advancement Form, www.advancementform.com/resources/best-practices-engaging-alumni-linkedin. Accessed 22 Oct. 2021.

Belcak, Austin. “15+ LinkedIn Profile Tips Guaranteed To Help You Win More Job Offers.” Cultivated Culture, 21 Sept. 2021, www.cultivatedculture.com/linkedin-profile-tips.

Deehan, Jane. “20 Steps to a Better LinkedIn Profile in 2020.” LinkedIn, 20 Feb. 2020, www.linkedin.com/business/sales/blog/profile-best-practices/17-steps-to-a-better-linkedin-profile-in-2017.

Proposal for reducing carbon emissions by incentivizing the use of electric vehicles on UBC Vancouver Campus

Standard

The purpose of this formal report assignment was to compile a professionally written report to an entity to further better the services/products they offer. The goal was to include primary data that included surveyed participants and/or interviews, and secondary data from reputable sources.  I learned that following a layout greatly allowed for a concise and easy to follow report for the reader to read.

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To:                   Dr. Erika Paterson
From:              Daniel Tsui
Date:               October 15, 2021
Subject:          Proposal for reducing carbon emissions by incentivizing the use of electric vehicles on UBC Vancouver Campus

 

Intended Audience

This proposal is intended for those who operate and maintain UBC Parking Services.  It aims to gather surveys from students that use UBC parking facilities and live a reasonable distance away from campus and not from students who live near or on campus. Those who primarily use parking facilities at UBC should have opinions on such to better improve parking facilities.

 

Introduction

As on-campus activities and classes resume back to normal, many students prefer to use alternate transportation methods that do not include public transportation due to COVID-19 concerns.  Many students and faculty staff do not live on campus and live all around the Greater Vancouver Regional District. On an average distance basis, one drives an estimated combined distance of 50 kilometers round-trip on average each school day. This equates to approximately 1000 kilometers driven per month, per car when driving on every weekday.  The average car in Canada consumes 8.9 liters of gasoline per 100 kilometers.  This equates to 89 liters consumes every month which contributes to around 205kg of CO2 released into the environment per month, per car. This proposal aims to highlight the EV charger accessibility and environmental problems.

 

Statement of Problem

The current global warming temperature rate of increase is rising faster than ever. As countries around the world are declaring the switch to all-electric solutions but the switch to all-electric is simply too slow and we must make all efforts to reduce carbon emissions. As stated in the introduction, many students do not live close to campus and there may be some people that live even further than the estimated average distance.  Public transportation is simply not good enough of an alternative for distant students and faculty as it takes too much time and is not easily accessible in some areas. Currently, UBC provides 10 EV charging stalls per parkade, but this is not sufficient as they are constantly occupied during peak hours and have a time limit of 4 hours. This makes charging for people cumbersome as they must move their car before the time limit is elapsed to avoid getting a violation ticket.

In addition, an outdated press release post from UBC Parking in 2019, EV sales in B.C. had not spiked by tremendous amounts due to the lack of EV grants. For the year 2020 alone, 9.4% of all new car sales in B.C. were all electric cars. In the Lower Mainland alone, there were around 29,000 electric vehicles registered according to ICBC. While it may seem that UBC provides as many chargers as the City of Vancouver, it is nothing to be proud of as it is a small number to begin with based on the comparison between registered vehicles in the Lower Mainland to the number of chargers offered to the public. It is important to consider that students only had the ability to purchase only 2 parkade options this year and that amounts to a maximum of 20 chargers are available to them at the very best-case scenario. This severely limits the number of accessible chargers to long term parking users.

In comparison, UBC Building Operations shares 20 chargers between its own fleet of cars reserved for their own use alone. How would 10 chargers per parkade be adequate for a parking lot that can house up to 1,650 vehicles (Thunderbird Parkade) at any given time?

As a university that prides in sustainability in recycling and waste nationwide, curbing the carbon emissions through encouragement, will contribute even more to our sustainability efforts. This aims to set an example for other universities and large-scale office towers for others to follow suit. We must try our best to help the planet, even if it only makes a little difference.

 

Proposed Solution

A possible solution is to educate users of UBC parkades the benefits of electric vehicles and to provide even more charging spots located around UBC parkades as EV adoption exponentially rises. Introduction of high-speed chargers and even a Tesla Supercharger station will ease the demand for charging at peak times. By curbing the concerns that most people have, it makes the transition to electric vehicles feasible and accessible even for those that do not have access to a charger at home. Additionally, by offering discounts to parking and charging costs, and prime parking spots, this can incentivize users to transition to electric vehicles.

 

Scope

Gauging feasibility of the incentivization of EV vehicles, the following questions are to be answered by UBC parking users:

  1. How far is your daily commute, round-trip?
  2. What form of transportation do you currently use?
  3. What are your main concerns of owning/switching to an electric vehicle?
  4. Will incentivizing parking costs, increased accessibility to chargers, and prime parking spots convince you to switch to an electric vehicle?
  5. Are there any negatives to implementing such? Additionally, do the benefits significantly outweigh the consequences if there is any?

 

Methods

One of the primary sources of research will involve surveying current users of all UBC parkades around campus to understand the challenges users face and to possibly raise awareness to users.   Secondary sources will involve national average statistics, UBC parking statistics and general information of a typical vehicle in Canada.

 

Qualifications

I am currently studying in Computer Science at UBC as my second degree. I do live quite far from campus and rely on non-public transportation due to the very same reasons.  I drive a fully electric vehicle and have experienced the very same problems listed above and to help the save the environment.

 

Conclusion

Although UBC recommends for using public transportation as a means for getting to and from school, it is simply not viable in many situations due to the inaccessibility of the transit system. Incentivizing the use of electric vehicles will surely make a difference in the environment we all belong to and by transitioning to such, many more institutions may follow suit and adopt similar protocols. Following your approval, research and questionnaires will commence.

 

Progress Report

MEMORANDUM

 

To:                   Dr. Erika Paterson, ENGL 301 Instructor

From:              Daniel Tsui, ENGL 301 Student

Date:               October 29, 2021

Subject:           Progress Report – Proposal for reducing carbon emissions by incentivizing the use of electric vehicles on UBC Vancouver Campus

 

Dear Dr. Paterson,

 

Please find below for the progress report for the proposal posted on my team forum.

 

Purpose and Significance of Report

The goal of this report is to promote electric vehicle ownership within UBC campus by highlighting the effects of growing environmental concerns. As electric vehicle ownership increases, new problems arise and UBC Parking Services should make decisions such as enhancing accessibility to more electric vehicle charging stations.

 

Intended Audience

This proposal is intended to be read by UBC Parking Services staff and upper UBC management.

 

Report Objectives

The objectives of this report are:

  • To determine the environmental impacts of using an internal combustion engine (ICE) car.
  • To determine the adoption rate of electric vehicles within Lower Mainland
  • To have a deeper understanding of where most users of UBC parkades live
  • To determine what prospective electric vehicle owners have concerns with owning one
  • To provide recommendations for reducing ecological footprint and producing less waste

 

Methods:

Primary data collection is done via online survey target to UBC parking patrons. The link below contains the survey questions used for this report.

https://ubc.ca1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_0OrmZyNU8UHk8AK

 

Secondary sources will include statistics provided by and not limited to Transport Canada, ICBC, and City of Vancouver.

 

Formal Report Outline

The link below contains the formal report outline:
https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-99a-2021wa/2021/10/29/formal-report-outline-ubc-ev-parking/

 

Research Plan

In order to understand the magnitude of the problem and to provide insightful suggestions, I plan to:

  • Research on the impact of CO2 emissions because of using internal combustion engine (ICE) cars.
  • Identify the core concerns prospective electric vehicle owners may have through the survey
  • Identify factors that may significantly increase use of electric vehicles on campus
  • Compile a list of ethical questions for the survey
  • Review secondary sources and the statistics given
  • Compile report with suggestions to improve electric vehicle ownership within UBC parkades

 

Writing Schedule

October 29: Formal report outline/ progress report for formal report

November 1: Survey is released to collect data

November 8: Gather survey data and produce initial report

November 15: Draft of formal report

November 17: Draft peer review for formal report

November 20: Peer review editing

November 26: Finalize formal report and submission

 

Thank you for spending time to review my formal report progress. The information gathered from research will improve my understanding and findings for this report. Please feel free to contact me should you require more information.

Peer Review of Definitions of “Riparian”

Standard

The purpose of this peer review assignment was to provide critical and constructive feedback to my peer’s assignment while being positive and professional. I observed the shortcomings of the assignment and have listed out the strengths and weaknesses of this definition.

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To: Coco Chen, ENGL 301 Student

From: Daniel Tsui, ENGL 301 Student

Date: October 5, 2021

Subject: Peer Review for Definitions of Riparian

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The definition of Riparian for was very enjoying to read as well as interesting and informative.  With that in mind, here are some suggestions to further improve the definition!

 

Grammar:  Some slight errors in your grammar.  Revising the subsection headers in the expanded definition section to more general terms such as “1. Where is Riparian” to “1. Location of Riparian”, “2. Its Constituent Components” to “2. Characteristics of Riparian” and “3. Its EcoFunctions” to “3. Riparian Features”. Capitalizing your sentence for the parenthetical definition and avoid starting sentences with “because” would help immensely.

 

Detailedness:  The expanded definition contained lots of useful information, however, as a non-technical reader in natural environments, there was trouble identifying where the alluvial aquifer, subduction zones were in (Fig. 3).  Perhaps a short explanation of each and/or placing labels on (Fig. 3) would help with understanding where the terms belong.

 

Conciseness: The definitions are concise for the most part. The clarity of the expanded definitions could be improved a little in my opinion. It would be helpful to change some sentence such as “The figure below…” to “Fig. number” to allow the reader to easily locate which figure you are referring to.

 

Criteria: This definition of Riparian meets all the basic requirements, containing three different definitions of the same word at different levels of understanding and adequate list of sources used. Although not necessary, turning the links into hyperlinks (blue links) in the references can make source checking easier for the reader.

 

Hopefully the suggestions made are  valuable for your upcoming assignment in the revision of this definition.  I believe that what you have already is great and that minor fixes should make this definition assignment an even better one. Please feel free to contact me should you have any questions!

https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-99a-2021wa/2021/09/30/assignment-13-defining-riparian/

 

Revised Definitions of Staccato

Standard

The purpose of this definitions assignment was to write 3 types of a technical definition. A parenthetical, sentence and expanded definitions are provided on this assignment. I learned that different types of definitions can aim towards different intended audiences.

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Introduction

This assignment aims to allow students of ENGL 301 to understand a specific, non-general term in different ways and to appreciate different interpretations of the same word. Exploring different amounts of detail depending on the situation faced.

Situation

The audience this is aimed towards is for those who have no technical knowledge in music and/or music score reading. As the musical term is of Italian origin, it is typical for a person who has never read sheet music to not know this word. This is aimed for students who are trying to understand the concept and technicality of different playing styles within a piece of work.

Parenthetical Definition

Staccato [stuh-kah-toh]:

A musical symbol frequently seen on sheet music.

 

File:Staccato E.svg

(Fig. 1) Staccato marking on sheet music

Sentence Definition

Staccato is a symbol seen commonly on sheet music that signals the musician to play a short, detached note.

 

Expanded Definition

Origin of Staccato

Staccato is an articulation marking performed by the musician and is usually heard commonly in all types of music forms.  The word staccato originates from the Italian language and translates to “to detach” and is used commonly outside of music too. Musically, it means to play “short and detached”.

Staccato Uses on Instruments

On different instruments, the staccato is achieved differently due to the nature of the instrument. However, the end-goal is achieved to the audience/listener as the articulation is the same audibly throughout all instruments.

On string instruments, this would mean that the musician would shorten one’s bow stroke,  not allowing more sound to be made once the articulation is performed.  On wind and brass instruments, the musician would manipulate one’s breathing to blow a quick stream of air and quickly shut the air flow to the instrument with their tongue. Conversely, for piano players, one must hit the key for a very short period of time and quickly lift away from the key to perform a staccato articulation.

On sheet music, it is simply denoted as a small, circular black dot on the music (Fig. 1) (not to be mistaken by the actual note head (oval shaped with a line connected)).

 

References

Merriam-Webster. (n.d.). Staccato. In Merriam-Webster.com dictionary. Retrieved September 30, 2021, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/staccato.

Dictionary.com. (n.d.). Staccato definition & meaning. Dictionary.com. Retrieved September 30, 2021, from https://www.dictionary.com/browse/staccato.

BBC. (n.d.). Staccato – understanding musical signs and symbols – national 5 music revision – BBC Bitesize. BBC News. Retrieved September 30, 2021, from https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/guides/zgvgw6f/revision/7.