Vancouver in Spring
I think I have learnt a lot in this assignment. Before this, I never realized it could be this hard to explain a technical term to regular audience in plain and concise language. The challenges started from picking the right word and appropriate audiences. After a few tries with words in Economics and Computer Science, I decided to go with Cloud Computing – a technical term that has enough application in real life so that people can relate to.
For parenthetic and sentence explanations, although both my partner and I managed to keep them short, we all made the mistake of using jargons, which could lead to more confusion in our target audience. For the expanded explanation, the challenge for me in the first writeup is to make the connection between expansion strategies natural and logical. In addition to that, my partner also suggests that I could have used more detailed examples to support the application of cloud computing and its benefits, and I think this is indeed helpful for the target audience to relate the technology to their daily life. What is more, I think peer editing helps me learn from other people’s advantage. For example, when reading my partner’s definition, I noticed the smooth transition between different expansion strategies, and indeed this is the area that I need to work on.
In the editing process. I mainly focused on three things. First, I replaced the jargon in both parenthetical and sentence definitions with more plain word to avoid confusion. Second, I expanded the examples in the application part to make cloud computing more relatable to the target audience. Finally, I also referred to the real-world application when explaining the benefits of cloud computing, and I believe this would make the connection of last two sections stronger.
Please find the link to my edited work below. I hope that with the editing and further expansion, my definitions are easier to understand.