Kristy's ENGL 474F blog

I received a Chinese New Year e-card today from my little sister, who is in the first year of university across the country. And yes, I know e-cards are usually for old people who haven’t gotten the hang of the quick Facebook-Message-With-Emoticon, but I actually quite like them. They’re pleasant. They’re usually pretty. They have an extra level of care to them.

Look. See? Pretty.

The interesting thing about this, however, is that we’ve never sent each other Chinese New Year e-cards (or any other form of greeting) before. I was caught a little off guard.And also, neither of us identifies as Chinese.

My background is a big stew of everything – part white American with German and Scottish ancestry, part Indonesian with native Javanese and Chinese ancestry (okay, so we’re about 1/8 Chinese). I grew up in Indonesia, but went to an International School that followed American criteria.  I am what anthropologist Ruth Hill Useem calls a third culture kid, and  I identify with Fred Wah’s confusion over his mixed race identity.

So why the e-card? Why now? I believe – and most third culture kids I know will probably back me up on this – that as a mixed race kid growing up in both cultures, you get very used to defining yourself as different from the majority, and this becomes so intrinsically connected to your identity that you’re almost more comfortable not fitting in. Your authentic self is defined as “different”, and you’re most comfortable when you feel like you’re trying to fit in instead of actually doing so. We discussed this in class when talking about Diamond Grill – how ‘faking it’ doesn’t always mean you’re inauthentic, because authenticity is subjective. Why shouldn’t your true self be the person who smiles a little uncomfortably at the cousin they can’t really communicate with due to language barriers, but pretends to connect with anyways? In Diamond Grill, Wah has captured, through the motif of food, the comfort that can be drawn from having ties to your family, and also accepts that his experience is not theirs.

So back to my sister – why is she suddenly sending e-cards and singing Mandarin songs she learned in elementary school? Because she’s moved to Canada now, and instead of defining herself by the otherness of being half white, she’s defining herself by the otherness of being half Asian. It’s just more comfortable that way. Sure, she may not have grown up speaking fluent Mandarin, or even have lived in China at all, but that doesn’t mean her faking it through this year’s Celebration of the year of the Wooden Horse (as she informed me it was – I had no idea) is any less authentic, because she’s just reconnecting with a different part of her identity.

So, in conclusion – Gong Xi Fa Cai, mèi mei, adik, little sister, kleine Schwester.

Happy New Year.

Work Cited:  Wah, Fred. Diamond Grill.  Edmonton, AB: NeWest Press., 2006