rePhrase – A3
Watch the rePhrase Elevator Pitch. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mM5vMmMDWek Read the rePhrase Venture Pitch. Leave some constructive feedback. Thanks!
Continue reading rePhrase – A3 Posted in: Uncategorized, Week 13: Venture ForumWeek 13: Venture Forum RSS Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts
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mcquaid
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Doug Smith
Cloud Connect
Please visit my Elevator Pitch below for a new Classroom LMS product called “Cloud LMS.” Truth be told, I would prefer to have done a video of myself speaking but a combination of me being a poor line memorizer, along with lighting and camera difficulties, led to the movie below. I like the narration though […]
Continue reading Cloud Connect Posted in: Week 13: Venture Forum-
andrea
Hi Doug,
What a great elevator pitch! I really liked that you were clearly speaking to people about an investment opportunity, but that you also quickly described the product, identified the size of the market and existing issues for schools, and even spoke to the strength of your team’s skills. Well done!
Andrea -
jarvise
I like your idea, and the rationale makes a lot of sense. I also liked your last two pages evaluating your own pitch. I wasn’t sure how to get that into my own. I never thought of just blatantly doing it. Good job! I would be hesitant to invest. Not because of any issues with your proposal, per se, but with the nature of the market you are targeting. A direct to schools pitch seems very risky. A lot of products that make so much sense for adoption within schools just can’t get traction, for no particular reason. The culture of the education system is weird this way. Unless you can attain fad status, unfortunately it seems difficult to gain widespread adoption. I would be much more comfortable investing in a product sold directly to students, parents, or companies. That being said, it doesn’t really fit with what you are proposing. I think that there are so many products emerging in this area at this time, that it may be too risky. Especially since many of them are free. Your elevator pitch was one of the best I have seen. Great work!
Emily -
Deb Giesbrecht
Doug,
I had the same technical issues – not to mention I hate being in front of the camera! I liked your presentation – very well done. The graphics and concepts were very clearly defined and I think the market is very expanse. It would be challenging to set yourself a part from all the other Learning Management Systems out there – but your plan appears to be well researched and very feasible. Your elevator pitch does make me want to investigate the venture further, so I think you effectively did your homework! Great job!
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Keisha Edwards-Hamilton
Doug.
Cloud Connect is a very interesting venture. It grabbed my attention quickly and I am keen on learning about how it works since it promises a new way for learning management systems which in my opinion is much needed today to cater to the different needs of today’s digital age learners.Considering that the LMS market is worth billions as stated, this is a venture I would definitely pursue. Great pitch.
Keisha
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hall
Hi Doug,
I like the idea of ‘Connect LMS’. The ideas presented in the pitch were clear and could be easily followed. The font size and graphics were very good. I absolutely think it is a brilliant idea especially as institutions are in search of effective and efficient tool to provide learning to a large number of students. The idea of using with primary and high school students is a plausible one and would definitely allow students to acquire conceptual knowledge rather than procedure knowledge at very tender age. Although I think is a good venture, I am concerned about your target market (primary and high school students). I think that your venture would be more marketable if you include the tertiary level students which have been proven to be a good target group.
Conroy
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Deb Kim
Hi Doug,
This is a great idea! I liked your elevator pitch. It had enough information to grab people’s attention and was made clear what your venture is about. I also liked your venture proposal. When I first saw your elevator pitch, I wondered how Connect LMS would be different from other LMSs. You answered my question in your venture pitch. I especially liked the idea that Connect LMS is based on the currently available software products. It’ll make it easier for customers to use without learning new functions. I also liked the diagrams you added as a reference in your pitch. They made clear what you wanted to say about your venture.
As you outlined in ‘The Challenge’ in your pitch, I’m also worried how you are going to advertise and compete against the already existing LMS such as Moodle. Moodle is pervasively used in many districts already, so there must be some unique features of Connect LMS that are different and more appealing than Moodle.
Great work!Deb
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verenanz
Clear, concise – grabs your attention, it was full of facts and details. You had the answers. Great integration of e-portfolio ideas, product based assesment and other themes from this course. Industry Canada would be VERY interested in speaking with you if you are ready to take it to the next step. I could give you a contact if you wanted one.
Well done!
Verena:) -
mcquaid
You’re my last review, Doug. Sorry it took me until now to get to you… on the plus side, though, it’s because you were in my top three!
After watching your elevator pitch a few times, I wrote a few notes down like:
– slick-looking
– talk is a bit fast
– enticing market
– I may be in if what I see later is good enough!So here I am now, after seeing the rest of the pitch.
Market-wise, it seems to make a lot of sense. There is definitely a trend for growth (as shown by your LMS infographic on page five), and your market share growth prediction on the same page would mean a growth of 15 – 37.5 million this year alone (in addition to the existing ¾ billion market size). It’s definitely enticing. Your SaaS approach, is good, but I felt a little hesitant when you said you would market it to individual teachers first. I would be worried that that would slow growth down, and by the time you had a strong base, could the window of opportunity for the product be gone?
When combined with analytics later, the ability to tailor learning for students and make it personalized, I think, is where this could really shine. Personalized learning is pretty “buzzy” lately – who wouldn’t want things to be tailored to fit them, including learning?
My remaining questions about the program are:
– As you mentioned, teacher resistance – I wonder if that will be a significant hindrance, like in Zhao and Frank’s paper that looked at technology as an invasive species in a new ecosystem
– What will really set it apart from its competitors and hook people? (I think you laid this out fairly well, but was waiting / wishing for something to grab me even more)
– Related to the last point, I’d be scared to death of the free competitors you alluded to.
– I’m curious as to what makes Shoebridge a “visionary” – I’ll have to look him up…
– Just something nitpicky, from an LA teacher – your lack of hyphens for terms like “classroom based” drove me a little nuts!
Overall, I thought that this was a good idea with great potential. With a little more tweaking after your EVA critiques here, you could be really on to something!
Cheers!
Stephen
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khenry
Hi Doug,
Very good job on the elevator pitch! You had a good balance of voice and visuals and really got all the essential elements within your time. Nice tone and pace, but at times the pace teetered on being a little fast but you held it just enough. I clearly heard your problem, your solution, the competence of your team and reason for your venture, your market and market focus. I also read through your pitch. My main question would be would I really pay for this when I can access elements for free. Therefore, I think your focus and use of learning analytics and personalised programs along with increased collaboration and choice of user with tools are essential. Good job.Kerry-Ann
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Juliana
A3 – Pennywise Project
Below is my Elevator Pitch for the “Pennywise Project”. [kaltura-widget uiconfid=”534″ entryid=”0_0wybngzb” width=”400″ height=”330″ addpermission=”” editpermission=”” /] You can access my venture pitch for the Pennywise Project here. In both cases, please forgive the quality of my voice…I had to do my narrations while fighting a bad cold. Juliana.
Continue reading A3 – Pennywise Project Posted in: Week 13: Venture Forum-
Julie S
Hi Juliana,
I just started my reviews but I noticed when I watched your pitch that you have focussed on non profit and not making money from the venture. I wonder if you have considered pitching to the debt management companies that you mentioned. They might be interested as paying clients because they could promote this as a social benefit in terms of helping provide prevention training for future generations.
For example, if the company is providing a service to a client who is also a parent they could offer a family based service where they offer this type of training for their client’s children to help them learn better budgeting practices. After all, if the parent is having problems then they probably aren’t passing down good habits to their children.
Just a thought. Cheers,
Julie
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Julie S
Hi Juliana,
Here’s my more detailed review of your venture. I liked your elevator pitch with the upbeat music, clear message and illustrated non-financial benefits. Your venture pitch is strong especially in how you state right up front that this is a social enterprise so there are no financial returns. Your problem statement is convincing but I’m not sure if I made the connection to why 3D was so important. You may want to add some key benefits here. From a media formatting perspective you may want to consider image instead of text when you are talking because I don’t think people can read one thing and hear another at the same time. Having said that your narrative was clear and easy to follow but I did have to stop and rewind for the text.
Coming from a corporate background I’m not used to social enterprises that don’t have a profit side but I think you did a pretty good job in explaining the social benefits.
I think I would be leaning towards investing if I could see a way that this was tied to my organization’s social responsibility goals. You may want to consider including something in the pitch that demonstrates the concept of an organization’s Triple Bottom Line which is a popular way of measuring value that goes beyond just profitability. In fact, if you did this with the agencies you mentioned I think you could be able to convince them to partner for more than just marketing. I was confident in your abilities from a developmental perspective and your partnership plans made your pitch stronger because they would bring the sales and marketing skills to the table that I would be concerned about.
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Juliana
Hi Julie,
Thank you for bringing your corporate perspective. I think it is times like these I really do regret not having more of a corporate background. There are different priorities and strategies that need to be engaged and I will admit I did wonder if there was a better way that I could “sell” this venture.
I do agree with you about the 3D rendering. I think I was on the fence about this initially about creating a 2D or 3D environment. In the end the free and openness of the exercise got the better of me and I did choose to shoot for the clouds versus staying on the practical (and probably cheaper) 2D ground.
I am glad that you sent the link on Triple Bottom Line. I think this could have been a great way of structuring my pitch. As for your previous comment about partnering with a debt management company, I really wondered if they would have 200K to spare and I guess that is why I hesitated against it. But again, I may be completely wrong about this…as I mentioned, I have very little business experience so I am not really aware of the funds such organizations have for such ventures.
I did toy with the idea of recovering some costs by doing some advertisements, but again as this game is for high school students and was serving to help with fostering spending habits, I wondered about the ethicalities of this. May be it wouldn’t be so bad if I was selling advertisements for charities or post-secondary institutions? This type of advertising sells the good that can be done with money.
Thoughts?
Juliana.
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Angela Novoa
Hi Juliana,
I really enjoyed your Venture. I think that there is a real target and market for both gaming and needs for financial education. By integrating financial learning with gaming you will be able to engage costumers, to prepare youngsters in a relevant issue of their lives, and to promote problem solving and critical thinking skills.
Your Venture Pitch provides information about the competency level of its leaders, the benefits offered, how it is different from other ventures, and who are the competitors. Your venture also provide clear information about the money that is required and when will investors receive returns. I think that needing a high amount of money to develop the venture with no real monetary return is an issue to consider. It is not clear how will the venture survive if it does not receive any incomes. I would suggest to provide more information about the returns of this venture. Indeed, receiving reputation as an entity that works in the improvement of the quality of education is really relevant. Having incomes for maintaining the Pennerwise Project platform is necessary too.
Overall, I would invest in the Pennerwise Project because I think that it offers a innovative solution and meets the needs of a wide number of costumers.
Angela.
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Juliana
Hi Angela,
Thank you for your comments! Yes, the big issue with this venture is the return. After completing the pitch, I did wonder if I could possibly sell some space for advertising for charities or post-secondary institutions. I was thinking of targeting the advertising towards positive ways of spending your money (ie. education, vocational training or charities). Perhaps that is an angle that I could explore in future?
Thoughts?
Juliana.
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kstooshnov
Wonderful pitch and best wishes for the Pennywise Project, Juliana,
I could easily relate to the pain points, and feel as if I am on the same page as you when coming up with a solution. I would love to see more of the design of the serious game, and can think of some social justice-minded teachers in my district who would get behind it. What they may not be able to do, however, is buy in, and I can understand how difficult it might be to convince those with money to support a project that seeks to lessen the gap between the rich and poor. Nevertheless, you have carefully thought out and presented your idea, in spite of the flu, and spoke clearly and passionately about what most concerns you, and many others.
All the best,
Kyle-
Juliana
Thank you for your kind words. Yes, doing this project (and another one for ETEC 540) that required narrations while I had a cold was not fun, but I did manage it.
I think from reading people’s posts these last few weeks and my general experience when working with public school teachers during the MET program is that teachers have little time and very little support. As a result, I just couldn’t create a venture that didn’t take this into account. Yes, it won’t make any money, but at the same time it may be easily integrated into the classroom and hopefully create a positive change in spending behaviours.
Juliana.
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ashleyross
Hi Juliana,
I like how you engage the viewer by asking them questions. The concept of your venture sounds promising, and teaching students how to be financially savvy is something I think is really important. Your elevator pitch also left me with wanting to know more about your product which I think is a good thing.
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Juliana
Thanks for your comments Ashley! I was wracking my brain on how to generate interest with my elevator pitch and I found that the questions were the best way to draw people in.
Juliana.
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David William Price
Elevator pitch assessment
Juliana – Pennywise
First Impression: no face, voiceover with music and slides,
CEO Credibility: The CEO does not appear as an image or video although there is a voiceover all the way through. I have the voiceover to judge CEO credibility. The CEO appears to be passionate about the problem of student debt. I might take a negative inference based on the fact the CEO is unwilling to appear.
Management Team: No team is mentioned, so I have no way to judge. I might take a negative inference based on the fact the CEO is unwilling to talk about the team.
Venture Concept: Apparently a serious game of some sort related to student debt. No description of the game or what it does or how it works or who would use it. No description of the costs or timing of development of the serious game.
Opportunity Space: No description of the intended market. Is it students? What kind of students?
Market Readiness: No description of how this will be marketed or distributed, how to enter the market or how to grow presence.
Competitive Edge: Apparently providing free access to a serious game is meant to be an advantage. Similar games already exist on the web. No indication of how this game is different or how it will be paid for.
Exit Strategy: No indication of their target market, its size, or how they will capture it.
Overall Investment Status: I don’t see the CEO or the team, I don’t know who the targeted market is. I don’t know how my investment will be repaid. I don’t know how this will be marketed. I consider this high risk and would not pursue.
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Juliana
Hi David,
I do appreciate your comments. My reasons for using PowerPoint slides versus showing my face for the presentation is privacy. I am not comfortable with my face showing up on Youtube like that. Also, as I mentioned previously, I was sick, so I was not at my best anyway.
I was a little confused by your other comments as I did think I covered some of the gaps that you mentioned. For instance, I did describe on the Marketing slide who my audience would be along with who my marketing targets. In this slide I also mentioned how the marketing and promotion of the game will be done.
As for the competitive edge, I did mention why my game would be better than the existing free games on the internet. That is mentioned on the 3 Pain Point/Solution slides.
In addition, as my venture was more of a research project, the structure of the management team is a little different. I was enlisting a partnership with an existing serious game developer who would be doing the work of creating the game. Furthermore, I do clearly state that recovering the investment would not be the priority. The potential non-monetary gains are listed on the Return slide. Also, I did cover how long and how much money it would take to develop such a game on the Ask slide.
Take Care,
Juliana. -
Juliana
Hi David,
Just realized that you have only reviewed my elevator pitch. I take back most of my comments as I was under the impression that you did a detailed review of my venture pitch, which covers all of the points you mentioned.
My reasoning for not covering the points that you spoke about in the elevator pitch is because my aim was to generate interest first. Also it was too tough to put all of that information that you commented on in a 1 minute elevator pitch. To be honest I had enough trouble fitting everything in the 8 minute limit for the venture pitch!
Juliana.
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mcquaid
Hi, Juliana.
I must admit that you were #4 in my ten pitches. I liked your pitch – I thought it was informative, interesting, and sounded useful. Are you pitching this as a social enterprise (blend of profit and not-for-profit)? Your use of the word “free” may scare away some investors looking for a return (unless you’re thinking gov’t will pay for this program for schools), but may still attract some investment angels looking to do some good. Like the dragons on Dragon’s Den, I liked your idea, but just didn’t see how I could make any money with it.Cheers,
Stephen
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Juliana
Thanks Stephen! I am honoured to be your #4 pitch 🙂 There were so many really great pitches from our class and being #4 makes me feel pretty good!
You are correct in that there will not be a monetary return and that the word “free” is my biggest barrier.
I guess I chose to choose this route because I really felt that our public school system was just being tapped out for money and our teachers simply don’t have time to implement anything complicated in their classrooms. Also it was important to me to ensure that my venture was accessible to the public school system as they would be the biggest market and would allow for many students to be reached. So this made me go the research route.
Juliana.
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Jay
Juliana,
I think you are proposing an interesting idea here for schools and suggesting they play a role in teaching what you have referred to as “financial literacy” to students to foster change in our financial habits. I think your social venture is touching on an important subject in today’s cloudy economic climate.
You have presented clear problems and solutions that your company will solve. Suggesting partnerships with the organizations you proposed would strengthen your reputation and credibility. I also like the idea of using funding to conduct pre/post qualitative and quantitative research in this area to observe change and determine effectiveness.
I am slightly skeptical about a “serious game” and it’s ability to change spending/consumer habits. I would also worry about the resistance you might face from the plethora of companies, organizations that benefit from consumerism and debt practices. However I think you are proposing a strong and necessary idea for students of this age.
I would invest in your idea, but one question I have is to who you are targeting for investment. Your product is offered free to schools so I am unsure who would be investing. Debt management companies? Other non-profit NGOs? government? the partnerships you are suggesting? This is all I was unclear on.
overall great job!
Jay
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Juliana
Hi Jay,
Thank you very much for your comments!
I purposely left the question of who would be investing very open-ended.
I am from a very academic background so I automatically leaned towards government grants. I was also thinking that there could be potential buy in from bigger foundations (ie. Gates foundation), but again, I know that I am shooting for the moon.
As I mentioned in my reply to Julie above, I don’t have much business or corporate background, so I did hesitate focusing on debt management companies as a funding partner. I was wondering about whether or not they would have the funds to go for such a venture, but I think that they would be a natural funding match.
I also wonder if a serious game can change the world, but I do think that giving people the chance to experience the effects of their choices in a safe and simulated environment can help. I do want to stress the teacher-led activities that would go with a program like this. Those are the activities that can really help to educate and hopefully change some behaviours.
I think our time in the MET program has shown us that technology on its own is not the answer. It is a tool and it does fall on the teacher’s shoulders to ensure that all the learning goals are met. All we can do is hope to create ventures that ease the burden a little and help teachers meet the learning goals.
Juliana.
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Doug Smith
jJuliana,
I was very intrigued by your elevator pitch and its not-for-profit venture. This was an immediate draw for me as a member of my community, as I appreciate the desire to educate for the sake of our society.
The Pennywise Project is well thought out and tells me most of what I would like to know about making an investment. The one part that I would really like to hear a lot more about is the actual markets and communities that it is targeted for. This would tie in with the development of the game, as different demographics will require different scenarios and situations so that the game is relevant.
In general, I am very skeptical of your cost for development. $200,000 over a two year period seems incredibly low. With perhaps more development needed to address diverse communities, the research cost alone may be significantly larger. However, maybe you are planning on taking advantage of subsidized or cost-reduced labour in order to achieve your targets. I would also like to see how this product would be marketed to schools. Obviously the fact that it is free is attractive. But even free products can be difficult to distribute without a skilled marketing team.
With some clarifications on the costs for development, along with a list of confirmed development partners, I would be eager to invest.
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ashleyross
LearnTRU Elevator & Venture Pitch
Hello, Here is my Elevator Pitch for A3! For more detail, please read through my LearnTRU Venture Pitch. Thanks! (* Note: There was a audible click in my EP so I uploaded a new version.) Reference Learning Disabilities Association of Canada. (2011). Retrieved from http://www.ldac-acta.ca/
Continue reading LearnTRU Elevator & Venture Pitch Posted in: Week 13: Venture Forum-
jenaca
Hi Ashley,
What a great pitch! You caught my attention right away and I was engaged the entire time! I am shocked about the high number of dropouts and can’t seem to get 35% out of my head! I think this was a wonderful way to begin your pitch, as well as visually showing the comparisons!
I am definitely voting for your product!
Jenaca-
ashleyross
Hi Jenaca,
Thanks so much for the positive feedback, it’s much appreciated. 🙂
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jarvise
learntru is a well positioned and developed idea. I like the structure of your presentation. You clearly establish the need and the market, although there was no hard data on cash flow. You have positioned your product as a whole solution, through offering not only help with academics, but also with lifestyle, which would translate to self efficacy. I also think that through providing extra services, such as helping parents negotiate through extra funding applications that are available to them benefits both you and them. I thought your minimum commitment time was a little high, but I get that in order to peruse an activity on the weekend, it would take time. Did you consider offering fragments of your service as well? For example, if someone just wanted help with one aspect, they could pay only for that? Great presentation and great idea. I like your coordinated services model and would invest in this.
Emily
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ashleyross
Hi Emily,
Thank you for your feedback. I decided not to include any specific data on the financial aspect of the business mostly because it wasn’t a requirement for the assignment and I wanted to make sure that I gave as much attention as possible to the deliverables. In regards to offering fragments of LearnTRU, I feel as though it would go against the underlying concept behind the program, which is to help create an academic/non-academic balance in a child’s life. I realize that the minimum commitment could be considered high, but most sports or programs for young children are at least one day a week so it isn’t really any different as far as the time involved. Also, for families who have children with learning disabilities, they will help their child spend as much time as they need to become successful.
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bcourey
Hi Ashley,
You are addressing a very challenging problem – meeting the needs of a group of students who are traditionally overlooked and given minimum support – your stats are disturbing as we look at their drop out rate. When I first viewed your pitch, I wondered if the only difference between your service and any other tutoring program was the weekend activities, but then I noted that you provide a great deal of support for parents and a very individualized program for each student based on your assessments. I too wondered about the cost and what investors would get in return…but maybe you are a non-profit group? I also wonder if one evening per week for tutoring would give them enough support to upgrade their skills enough to be successful in their regular school day. Great presentation for sure!Brenda
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ashleyross
Hi Brenda,
Thank you for your comments. You’re right, one day a week would not be enough to help upgrade a student’s skills, that’s why LearnTRU spends equal amounts of time focusing on participants learning lifestyle and high-interest lifestyle. Although it could be split so that we focused on the learning lifestyle during the week and the high-interest lifestyle on the weekend, it is much more effective when the activities are done together each day. This gives the participant an outlet after working hard on their academic pursuits through the transition to the high-interest lifestyle, even if it is something as simple as going for a swim at the public pool during the week.
I do feel as though the business can be profitable, but I need to finish researching the financial requirements of launching LearnTRU before providing you with more detailed information. 🙂
Ashley
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hall
ashleyross,
I think your elevator pitch is a good one. I definitely like your sequence of your ideas from the identification of problem to solution of problem through Learn TRU. I think it was innovative. Developing countries would definitely benefit from your venture.
Conroy
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ashleyross
Hi Conroy,
Thanks so much for your comments. 🙂
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schiong
Hi Ashley,
Great product.
I’ve never dealt with anyone with learning disabilities… so it is hard for me to imagine the market potential.just to clarify, would you be transferring the learner (diagnosed with learning disability) to your own “school”, or you send a consultant to shadow the student?
cheers,
Steve-
ashleyross
Hi Steve,
Thanks for your question. The answer is neither, you could think of LearnTRU as an afterschool program that provides students with the tools they need to bring back to their classroom. The idea is for them to become self-sufficient and independent, while in the classroom.
Cheers,
Ashley
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jenaca
The Venture:
LearnTRU is in the business of helping particpants learn using technlology to reach their ultimate goal by providing them with a learning lifestyle strategy that will stay with them forever. LearnTRU has blended a learning lifestyle and a high-interest lifestyle that aims to create the perfect ‘after-school’ and weekend learning environment for students with disabilities.
LearnTRU has 3 main aspects:
1) Assessment: To help clients discover their learning lifestyles through a series of questions that determine how they learn best and which tool(s) can help them in their academic pursuits
2) Learning Lifestyle: Participants are taught how to learn by transforming any subject material so that it suits the learning style that was outlined during their initial assessment
3) High-Interest Lifestyle: Involve students in activities outside of the normal lifestyles (horseback riding, playing musical instruments, snowboarding etc…)
Additional Information:
• In Canada, about 1 in 10 Canadians have a learning disability; 35% of those individuals who are identified as having a learning disability
• LearnTRU is to help these young people find a hobby, sport or exercise that they enjoy, but more importantly one that will give them a sense of accomplishment.
• LearnTRU clients will spend equal amounts of time developing their Learning Lifestyle and their High-Interest Lifestyle to help them achieve success in all aspects of their lives.
• The minimum time commitment required to participate with LearnTRU is one evening during the school week and 4 hours on the weekend.
My Thoughts:
LearnTru is a well developed and structure idea. I like the vision of this venture and truly believe there is room in the market for this service. The elevator pitch intrigued me and motivated me to read your venture pitch where I found facts, statistics and information regarding the current market competetors and how your service differs from the once currently on the market. The feature I find most unique about yours is the last step in your pitch: high-interest lifestyle. Most of the other services do not currently include this and I believe this is the selling point of your service!
learnTRU is definitely something I would invest in!-
ashleyross
Hi Jenaca,
Thanks again for your positive comments. I too believe that the high-interest lifestyle is one of the main selling points.
Cheers,
Ashley
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Keisha Edwards-Hamilton
Hi Ashley,
LearnTru has a great pitch. The elevator pitch initially grabbed my attention and I love the value proposition. I was really surprised about school drop-out rates. However, right away I understood the problem . I could also relate to the problem and wanted to know more about how LearnTru could solve the problem which lead me to explore the venture pitch. A differentiation strategy is evident, but how feasible is this considering the target market. It is exciting, but can the market afford to pay for this service? The marketing plan seem terms of marketing, the plan seem attainable. Also the LearnTru team is solid and seems to be capable of turning the venture into a success. The idea of a niche is good as it caters to a specific group that need this type of service and the presentation clearly identified the market. Overall I love your preposition. It is unique and suits the target market you identified. This is definitely a venture that is worth pursuing.
Keisha
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ashleyross
Hi Keisha,
Thanks for taking the time to give me feedback. ‘Can the market afford to pay for this service?’ Great question. To make it more affordable for the market it is important to help clients find and fill out the proper grants, there is a lot out there but most people (1) don’t know they exist and (2) have a hard time finding them and filling them out.
Cheers,
Ashley
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andrea
Hello Ashley,
Well done on your clear and convincing pitches. Both look very professional, and are quite persuasive in establishing a need market for this service. After reading through everything I was left thinking that it’s amazing something like this isn’t already established – it’s just so common sense. It also feels like you’ve already started developing a brand. This was evident as well in your use of the “learning lifestyle” and the “high-interest lifestyle” tags. (It would be cool if you could do this for the learning lifestyle assessment you mention as well.) Your quote “LearnTRU is in the business of helping participants learn using technology to reach their ultimate goal by providing them with a learning and lifestyle strategy that will stay with them forever” made me wish that I could access this product myself, because who doesn’t want to reach their “ultimate goal”? 🙂
You very clearly identify the market, offering, and buyer. One area that I thought could be expanded is your discussion of the competition. As a potential investor, I’d be interested to know what places like Sylvan Learning charge per hour to get a sense of what buyers are already comfortable with. Also, how many students in the Toronto area are attending tutoring programs? I would also like to know more about the types of technology LearnTRU will use. You give a few examples, but I’d be interested to learn a little more about how those are integrated into the approach. What does the licensing for these systems look like?
My final question is around marketing. I think I understand that this product will be marketed to schools, who will refer students, and also to parents directly? Not knowing much about the Individual Education Program process, I would love to hear more details specifically about where LearnTRU fits in that process.
Great job Ashley, and I’m curious to know, is this something you’ve developed or are in the process of developing?
Andrea
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ashleyross
Thanks for your feedback Andrea, it`s really appreciated. You bring up some great questions.
I found it challenging (in a good way) to choose information to include in my VP that focused on maintaining the interest of an investor versus a potential client. It is also why I provided a few examples of the assistive technologies, but didn’t go into too much detail. That’s why it’s great to be able to read everyone’s comments and questions and reply. 🙂
When it comes to learning and technology, every student has different needs. Some students with LDs have dyslexia (trouble reading text) which is why applications like Kurzweil that transform text into speech, would be used for them. Others have dysgraphia (difficulty with writing) and applications like Dragon Naturally Speaking, that transforms spoken words into text, work well for them and others need a combination of both. I could write a novel about this but I’m sure you don’t want to read it. 🙂 What is important is to find what works for each individual participant and teach them how to successfully implement the programs into their daily education schedule. It all seems so simple but no one takes the time or has the time to sit down with these students to figure out how they learn best. Licensing varies on the technology, most are around $100 but Kurzweil is around $1500 plus then you need a laptop for these programs. The initial setup can be very expensive, which is why it’s important to get proper funding.
I am planning on including all related costs and those of my competitors in my future VP. I decided not to include it the VP I submitted for this course because it wasn’t a requirement I wanted to focus my time on other aspects of the program. For a program like Sylvan it’s about $45-50 an hour after the enrollment fee of $50 and their initial assesment is about $150-200. But it varies depending on the client’s needs. Adding the percentage of students who attend tutoring programs in Toronto is a good point and one I’ll take into consideration.
For the marketing aspect, yes I would position myself to receive referrals from schools and parents but also from psychologists. For students to be diagnosed with an LD they need to have a psycho-educational assesment done (which in Toronto costs anywhere between $1800-2400+). Once diagnosed, students can get an IEP at school which they can get extra time on assignments, tests and exams. It also allows them to write exams on a computer, in a private room and gives them access to potential funding for tutoring and technology. As I mentioned above, the primary issue is that no one has time to actually sit down and teach these students how to use the technology or determine how they learn best.
The program isn’t completely developed yet, it is something that I am working on though and will hopefully be launching it in the near future. I hope I answered all of your questions, and sorry for the long post!
Cheers,
Ashley
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andrea
Hi Ashley,
Thanks for your thorough response. You obviously have a lot of expertise in this area. I can appreciate how difficult it can be to include everything you know and want your audience to know about your venture. You did a great job presenting the essentials in your pitches. Thanks for taking the time to answer all my questions!
Reviewing people’s pitches and the subsequent discussions here I’ve learned a lot about new markets and technologies.
Best of luck in your continued development of LearnTRU!
Andrea
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verenanz
Good job Ashley. It is great to see a product focused on a market that “needs” support and development. I thought your idea was creative and optimistic. There were a lot of steps and a lot of choices within your product, which confused me a little…..but I think that it has great potential.
Well done.
Verena:)-
ashleyross
Hi Verena,
Thanks for taking the time to read my venture. I am sorry to hear that you found my VP a little confusing, perhaps I can clarify quickly how the program works. The initial three steps are designed to provide us with enough information to build a foundation for each client and it is from this foundation that we develop their learning and high-interest lifestyle. These are non-optional. We then allow our clients to choose how many days a week they wish to work with us to implement the aforementioned lifestyles. It could be one day during the week + four hours on the weekend, or it could be five days a week, it completely depends on their schedule, budget, and requirements.
The rest of the additional services are supplemental to the above, such as providing laptops and software, helping families inquire about funding, etc.
Hopefully this helps. 🙂
Thanks again,
Ashley
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Deb Kim
Hi Ashley,
This is a great venture idea. Your elevator pitch caught my attention, especially when you started with the number 35%. This made me think what it would represent. I also liked your venture pitch. You said that “In addition to the assessment fee and any associated equipment purchase or rental costs, the primary source of income for LearnTRU will be through annual contract agreements”. I think it’s a great idea. As I’m currently teaching students with special needs, I’ve been seeking for support in helping them learn in general. Your venture is a great idea to help both teachers and students. Great work!
Deb
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Deb Giesbrecht
• Pain Point: students with learning disabilities
• Solution: LearnTRU – loved your use of acronyms. I think that this is a great idea. I think your venture idea has a lot of merit – it combines real-life experiences that boost morale and self-esteem with techniques on how to develop excellent study habits and routines. I think you have really identified a gap in the market that can be filled with your solution. I like your business plan and I think you have a well thought out and researched venture/market capability. You have identified that the market is ready for this type of solution and you have a flexible sales plan. You have identified a great team to work with and appear to have a lot of credibility. I did not see in your venture pitch how much you were asking from investors or return on investment. I did however, really like your sales strategy and thought overall the venture concept was not only feasible, but very doable and worthwhile cause. Great concept! -
khenry
Hi Ashley,
This was actually one of the first ones that I looked at but in my check throughs realised I actually did not post the response. Sorry. I really like the concept of Learntru. Your elevator pitch grabbed my attention and addressed pain points, solutions/product, and your target market. However, I did not get a sense of the team involved, how you will access your market or potential market share. I liked the use of the three step system presented, and how it was presented, and your inclusion of authentic learning activities. It is a great concept I hope you go forward with it.Kerry-Ann
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Kristopher
Hello all! Here is my elevator pitch. An…
Hello all! Here is my elevator pitch. And here is the entire venture proposition! Kristopher
Continue reading Hello all! Here is my elevator pitch. An… Posted in: Week 13: Venture Forum-
jarvise
Clear pitch. I got an idea of what the product is, and the fact that there is a demand for it. No financial stats were provided. However, it was clear that the idea was a solicitation. When I read through your proposal, it was more evident that this was being marketed to schools and teachers. I would be hesitant to invest, as I question whether a school or board would make this enough of a priority to invest in it in today’s cash-strapped market. I like how you have developed this – it may work as a free online sharing space. I question how much buying power teachers have.
Emily
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Kristopher
Hi Emily!
Thank you for the feedback. I think you identify very valid concerns with the venture. It is something that I would like to provide free of charge, but have had a hard time wrapping my head around not making money on a new venture.
Cheers,
Kristopher
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Angela Novoa
Hi Kristopher,
I really enjoyed your Elevator and Venture Pitch. Your Venture Pitch seems strategic for investment. It offers an innovative product that meets a real concern for educators. Today, being interconnected and sharing learning experiences around common ideals is a relevant issue to address. I think that you have a target and a market for your product. Your Venture Pitch provides information about the benefits that the product offers and how it is different from other ventures. It clearly shows the competency level of the venture’s leaders and provides an overview of competitors. However, it is not clear how and where buyers will be reached (marketing), how much money is required for investing on the project, and how much or how soon the investor will be recompensed. As an EVA, I would suggest to provide more information about these issues in order to decide whether investing on the product or not. Overall, you have provided an innovative venture and I think that you will capture a large number of clients.
Angela.
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Kristopher
Hi Angela,
I had a real hard time identifying how much money is required (specifically how to come up with a number); it reminded me a little of Dragon’s Den where someone presents a pitch and then asks for a certain amount of money invested for the exchange of a share of the company– I just wasn’t sure how to crunch those numbers. The result is that it is lacking from my pitch, which serves to weaken the entire pitch.
I am glad that you liked the idea; it was good fun to think it through and try and find an untapped niche. Thanks for the thoughts!
Kristopher
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jarvise
Hi Kristopher,
I totally agree with having no idea about financial aspects. I did a lot of research in this area, and ended up just doing a quick estimate of what I might need. Doing the projections, though, is tough too. I saw a presentation online where they had a graph showing the growth curves for different types of ventures. I couldn’t for the life of me find that information in all my searching, and the graph in the presentation was blurry so I couldn’t get the reference info on it. I found that aspect of this assignment particularly difficult, and to be honest, I am suspect of the financials I see in other people’s presentations. My spidey sense is attuned to this issue now. It seems that you can get general ideas of growth from similar businesses in the industry you’re targeting, but there is a lot of speculation. As a math teacher, I find it all a little hokey. (but I don’t have a business background – maybe there’s an appropriate technique out there…)
Emily
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mcquaid
Hi, Kris.
I liked your logo and overall presentation – some quality work there! It was apparent you put some thought and time into the graphics, including your mock-ups of what the program would look like on devices. My only technical criticisms about the pitch are:
– how the timing of your audio introduction and your pop-up name don’t match
– the slow pan animation blocks the view by times
– sometimes the speech may be a bit hurriedAs much as it was well done, slick, and had some great ideas, I couldn’t help but wonder if the same task / job could not be done with other existing (and possibly free programs). What sets this apart from setting up a group on Facebook or Ning? Does it afford anything Moodle wouldn’t? Maybe I just didn’t cull enough information as a viewer, but, after a couple of views, I wondered if the venture was that different from existing things.
Still, all-in-all – a very good, professional pitch!
Cheers,
Stephen
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Kristopher
Thanks for the feedback Stephen! I decided that because I was doing a mock venture that I should try and make it seem as real as possible, that’s why I spent a little time throwing together the images. I struggled with the audio quite a bit and never was quite happy (I had no idea that reading a script aloud, that the script would have to be so short!).
I have been thinking over your thoughts on other tools doing the same function. I see where you are coming from because I have felt the same about the other ventures that I have read about. I think the uniqueness comes in how you match it to the audience and honestly, how you sell it.
Thanks for the thoughts,
Kristopher
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Deb Kim
Hi Kristopher,
I love your venture idea. While watching and reading about your venture, I came up with an idea that we can collaborate to create a venture together because your venture idea connects to mine. 🙂
I also value collaboration very importantly. As global learning has been emphasized since education pays its attention to the 21st century learning, why not collaborate globally through network?
Just like others, I liked your logo and presentation. I especially liked your elevator pitch as it grabs the audience’s attention and has all the important information on Think, Act… connect.I also liked the use of geographic web browsing to display organizations by categories.
You mentioned the annual fee for TAC and I wonder how you’d convince people to purchase your product. I mean, what are some unique features of your product that are different from your competitors?Deb
Deb
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Kristopher
Hi Deb,
I am a firm believer that collaboration is the key. The annual fee was a bit of a second thought as I was still very much stuck in the mindset that I needed to make money for the venture to have value; I know that is a fallacy, but it still stuck that I wanted to add something in. In the end, I decided that a collaborative space for an annual fee was a nice way of doing so, but ultimately, that is nothing more than a host server.
Thanks for the thoughts,
Kristopher
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andrea
Hi Kristopher,
Great concept, and a very polished presentation! Your concept has heart (if that makes sense), and I think everyone can relate to the ideas you present about the value of connecting people and creating a network for local and international citizenship.
You really covered a lot of content in your elevator pitch, and from it I got an excellent picture of your venture. However, I’m kind of a *slow processor* so I needed to listen to it a few times before it really sunk in. I’d like to add to Stephen’s comments about the possibility of doing this same thing with existing tools. Your venture brings together the affordances of a number of tools, but I guess the challenge is making it so convenient or effective that it couldn’t be replicated simply by pulling together the tools independently, and adding value through the unique combination or functionality?
By the way, I thought your venture pitch was really well-written — great flow and had a very straightforward yet business-like tone. 🙂
Andrea
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Kristopher
Hey Andrea,
I struggled with making it sound sincere while still hitting the professional note, but upon listening to it again a couple days later, it sounded wordy and a little confusing– it wasn’t you:) Thanks for the feedback on both pitches!
Kristopher
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verenanz
Hi Kris!
I love and really apprecaite your idea- as a human. Thank you.I couldn’t watch your pitch (China) so I read your about your idea. I thought your writing was clear and engaging. I knew exactly what you were selling. Very well done.
I was just at a Free Virtual Conference last week though, on this very topic…they key word being free….I think the App idea is great, but educators are great networkers….I think you alluded to the point that it would not just be for educators though…
Anyway, here is the website on the virtual conference.
http://globaleducation.ning.com/page/2011-conferenceI really appreciated your idea!
Verena:)-
Kristopher
Hi Verena,
I find what you mention here to always be a struggle with teachers specifically: teachers a go-getters, when there is something they need, they seek or create; at the same time, they are overloaded and very busy people. It is tough to create a venture that will speak to the teacher and show value in that it lightens their load, without constraining them or requiring hours and hours to get functional. That was one of the concepts behind my venture.
Thanks for the link! It’s impressive how these things come together and even more so that they can be free. All the best in your travels!
Kristopher
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murray12
Hello Kristopher,
I very much enjoyed reading through your pitch. Your product sounds like a very positive addition to helping to improve the world. I found your writing clearly stated what you’re offering educators, but as an investor I might have some reservations. As someone mentioned before, as an investor I might be worried whether schools would really make the product a priority in their budget. Also, as an educator I may want to be involved in your product, but, as you mention, an already full workload tends to bog teachers down. Perhaps explaining to teachers how your product meets particular PLOs could increase interest (just a thought). Otherwise, a great product for the world, but the lack of facts, figures, and financial strategy might turn me away as an investor.
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khenry
Hello Kristopher,
Well done on your pitch. I also echo comments by McQuaid and Jarvise. However, in terms of attracting investors you could think of targeting investment from NGOs or Government agencies that align themselves with Millennium Development goals, http://www.beta.undp.org/undp/en/home/mdgoverview.html. Your venture rests strongly here. They could be great partners and also carry their own network of persons.
If you wanted to go commercial, then you could think of connecting teachers who develop learning/other ventures within your aims and objectives and market them within TAC. Subscription fees apply and other potential earnings are introduced.Kerry-Ann
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Deb Giesbrecht
Hi Kristopher – great elevator pitch – loved the graphics and voice over was very clear and concise. Very intrapreneurial concept. I also really like your acronym. You were very calm, cool and collected. You certainly have a very noteworthy cause. Your market is expansive– globally (literally), and you have identified a significant gap in the market and have come up with a very plausible, feasible and doable solution – made me want to learn more. Your venture appears well thought out and researched – certainly something that I would look further into investing. You have identified a few key strengths and demonstrated a concise and clear plan. Excellent job!
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khenry
Chat bout – a mobile language learning app
Hello all, Chat bout is a mobile and internet language learning app that delivers specified instruction to speakers of two languages, the main objective being to transpose between dual languages that exist within a country. In Jamaica the focus will be how to transpose between Standard English and Patois (the native language of Jamaica), the […]
Continue reading Chat bout – a mobile language learning app Posted in: Week 13: Venture Forum-
Juliana
Hi Kerry-Ann,
I am afraid I had some issues opening up your venture pitch. Can you please email it to me at sjc.met@gmail.com?
Thanks,
Juliana.-
kstooshnov
Hi Kerry-Ann
Me too, but it is more to do with my old-fashioned laptop (only came out in 2006!) not being able to read .docx files. I will be able to download it off the school’s computer when I go there on Tuesday.
Looking forward to reading more about chat bout,
Kyle -
khenry
Hey Juliana and Kyle,
Juliana I sent you an email with a new (97-2003) format. I also changed the version in my post to reflect this new format. Hopes this helps. If you still have problems please let me know.Kerry-Ann
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Kristopher
Hi Kerry-Ann,
Very interesting venture! I have always found it so interesting how different forms of English develop into their own, without considering the repercussions of being outside of the mainstream. To improve on your pitch, I would have liked to have seen some mock-ups of how you imagine the product looking/feeling. It would be helpful to envision people using the product.
Cheers,
Kristopher
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khenry
Thanks for your comments Kristopher. This is indeed valuable and I did try to get screen shots for a few examples but they proved problematic. Perhaps in lieu of that, apart from the email contact, I could also have provided a link to view examples since the shots were not apparent. However, given the knowledge of context of the app, I played on the confidence that targeted investors and partners would have enough cultural knowledge and would have been piqued enough to request a meeting or further info.
Kerry-Ann
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Jim
Hi Kerry-Ann!
I learned something from your elevator pitch! I was not aware of the difficulties that some Jamaicans have learning standard English… I think your idea is great. In the elevator pitch, which I thought was very well produced, sometimes there is not enough time to read everything on the screen. But, then I thought, instead of lengthening the video why not cut out some of the information in the elevator pitch? The info about the CEOs is great but perhaps better for the longer Venture Pitch? I think if you briefly describe how it would work, how it would help (which you do) and how it would be a valuable investment, then I think you are good.-
khenry
Hi Jim,
Thanks for your comments.
I agree with you and did think of that when I ran it but here was my philosophy: I watched quite a few pitches and thought, ‘if i’ve never heard of you/your credibility why would I even give you a second thought’. So I gambled that the pitch would have been engaging enough and that all information would have there so if they wanted they could go back and perhaps freeze frame if they really, really, needed to (had to keep it in one minute). Does that seem plausible? I debated with it for a long time. I went over it a few times after viewing your comments and I will try another option.Kerry-Ann
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Everton Walker
Kerry,
Loving the chat bout concept. I am ready to invest as our students are failing to make the distinction between the two languages. I think like seriously, we need to come up with more innovative ideas to combat this problem as it is prevalent at the tertiary level too.
Everton
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khenry
Thanks Everton. So true. It’s something I have been thinking about for a while now and it is something that needs to be addressed in a new way indeed.
Kerry-Ann
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Allie
Hey Kerry-Ann!
Awesome. What a terrific concept, narrowly defined and eminently doable. I’m wondering who might be buying the app? school boards? schools? national level? individuals? Like Jim, I had a little problem reading all of the text; I think he’s right that maybe some of the info could also be reserved for the VP?
cheers, A-
khenry
Hi Allie,
Thanks for your comments. You can scroll up too see my comments to Jim (rather than repeat here). I did also include in the VP. Thanks.That’s the great think about the App. It will be accessed and purchased by both individuals and schools. It has the potential to be a national initiative indeed. Thanks.
Kerry-Ann
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Tamara Wong
Kerry-Ann,
I really like the Chat bout concept! Like Jim I had no clue that some Jamaicans had difficulties learning standard English. Your elevator pitch was enticing and made me want to learn more but as others said there is a little too much information and not enough time to read it in your video. It could be eliminated from your elevator pitch and put into your venture pitch. In your venture pitch I really appreciated how you explained your reasons for using cell phones and the various plans you created for your app. It seems as if you thought of everything in making this accessible to your market, including partnering with cell phone companies to help with texting costs. I think your usage of text messages is brilliant, it has the potential to provide students with authentic materials every day. Your approach lends itself to constructivism. After I finished reading your venture pitch I realized that you could expand this market from Jamaicans to all English users with some changes! Your market size would grow exponentially and from an ESL teacher perspective would provide an opportunity for students to use English everyday! I love you concept and would like to know more about it!
Tamara-
khenry
Hi Tamara,
Thanks for your comments. I agree with the wordiness of the CEO slide, the philosophy of which I shared in my reply to Jim above, please scroll up. I would like to hear what you think about it.I did think of the expanded market indeed. Thanks for adding the theoretical and contextual concepts and applications.
Kerry-Ann
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carmen
Great job on the pitches, Kerry-Ann!
Interesting idea to go into the non-smart phone market to target at risk groups, where improving their education can improve their quality of life . Going mobile allows learners to review short lessons on the go. It sounds like you will have to first convince a mobile provider to be your partner. I wonder if there are similar existing business partnership models that we could refer to.
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khenry
Hi Carmen,
Thanks for your comments.
The 60/40 share revenue split is part of my ‘pulling factor’ for the mobile partners. While there hasn’t been anything of the nature of what I am proposing, they have engaged in partnerships in which they typically use a 65/35 share revenue scheme. However, I have and will continue to search to see if I find anything reflective of the desired partnership.Kerry-Ann
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verenanz
Hi Kerry-Ann!
Well done – I couldn’t see the Elevator Pitch as I am in China…but your analysis was very well done. I question what makes it different form any ohter translating App…but it seems to be its educational focus on “strict” language? Good job.-
khenry
Thank you Verena. Great job yourself! Good luck with your venture. Hope it is going well.
Thank you for your question. The app is different from a translating app. A translating app says the meaning in one language to another. This app indeed looks at strict language but also identifies common mistakes and corrective mechanisms through understanding the difference between uses and contexts within the two languages.
Does this provide further clarity?
Kerry-Ann
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Juliana
Hi Kerry-Ann,
I had a look at your venture pitch and I thought it was pretty thorough. I also liked the fact that you chose a medium that would work well in Jamaica and the Caribbean. I thought that was a great idea. So many times software or ventures have been created without thinking about the audience. In addition, you also have some numbers to back up your venture too. I also like the fact that you were looking to fit all the different phones out there. That is my biggest pet peeve with having a BlackBerry. Everyone goes on and on about how apps are the greatest thing in the world, but there is nothing really made for BlackBerry. It looks like you have thought of this and are making efforts to make sure that your venture will fit the different mobile phones out there.
Thanks,
Juliana.-
khenry
Hi Juliana,
Thank you for your comments. Interoperability is indeed an essential consideration in the venture. I also have a BlackBerry and I feel the same as you :-). There are also users who do not have smartphones who are even more out of the loop in accessing such products and services.Kerry-Ann
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Allie
After reading your venture pitch, I remain convinced that Chat Bout is an original and wonderful idea. if it can effectively improve language performance in English, I’m certain that many people will want to use it – and that many schools and government and corporate training programs will also want it for students (in the case of schools) and professional development. Your figures on mobile use in Jamaica convince me that the potential market is vast – and that this is the ideal technology to deliver learning to them. You have me convinced on the three crucial things…
is there a need? yes
is there a want? yes
is this the right technology for the context? yesFantastic! In my investor role, I say, let’s make this happen.
As an investor/reviewer, I find I’m wanting to know more about the content of the lessons – my sense from your pitch is that the problem isn’t the amount of lessons the students already get, it’s that their delivery and design perhaps needs to be re-thought to work more effectively. I want to know how these lessons on chat bout might work – what are the language learning and instructional design principles that you’re drawing on; how do they best take advantage of the affordances of mobile technology?
As an investor/reviewer, I’m also wondering – are there any models we can built off of? Are there successful similar technologies that we might emulate features of – or things we might want to avoid?
As a Canadian investor/reviewer, I’m wondering if maybe you could use US dollar figures throughout? (I say USD because it seems to operate as a kind of gold standard, and is perhaps the most easily grasped by international audiences).
Lastly, there was a book published a few years ago titled something like ‘the fortune at the bottom of the pyramid’. the title sounds pretty exploitative, but I think that the overall idea has to do with developing ventures that genuinely enhance life for the 80% who make up the bottom of the global economic pyramid; this is a viable market to cater to. That work may be useful for case studies, strategy development, or interesting reading.
best regards, Allie
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khenry
Hi Allie,
Thank you for your comments and questions which will add further weight to my proposal. Great questions. These will definitely be answered in a longer proposal. I will definitely include converted figures but my initial pitch was aimed locally.Kerry-Ann
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David Berljawsky
Kerry-Ann,
Great, great idea and pitch.
Things that stood out for me: Your research was excellent. It was obvious that you had a passion for the product. Your paper was organized in a way that was easy to read, and easy to find the relevant information. I liked the fact that you included media in the paper, this made the venture easier to understand and by providing a visual it made it seem more real to me.
Your elevator pitch was well designed with a great voice over and music. My only critique was that there was too much information in there, I did the same thing for my pitch. It’s really tough to narrow things down.
I thought that it was a great idea to target Jamaica, and concentrate on the needs of students there. It provided me with more of an understanding of the project this way. It seemed to be more influencial this way.
Excellent project!
David;
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khenry
Hi David,
Thanks for your comments. I agree that the elevator pitch had a lot of information. I battled with how best to include ‘the essential’ elements and the best way to present in the given time. In the end I gave in and hoped that there was enough hook that persons would either watch again and freeze frame or contact anyway. I wanted to be safe rather than sorry and at least have ‘everything’. After such great analysis and comments and watching everyone’s pitches I have some new ideas on how to improve this.
Thanks for taking the time to review it.
Kerry-Ann
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themusicwoman
Dear Kerry-Ann,
Wow. Great concept. Like it. As others have mentioned, had no idea about the issues Jamaican people would have with English language. Your elevator pitch was very rich with information and I was a little overwhelmed with it but my engagement level was high so I simply watched it again! You certainly had my attention.
As for your venture pitch, what a fabulous professional document. It was easy to find sections as they were clearly laid out. You have identified a product, explained it, and laid out the niche that it is to fit into. You’ve identified the need and it is clear for me as an investor, that there would be a demand for it. Of course, that would be if I were a Jamaican investor! As it is, I bet there would be some North American companies that would be interested 🙂
I enjoyed the visuals employed in your venture outline. Again, the clearly organized sections are to be commended. I think you’ve hit it bang on in three areas: great application with a clear solution to a problem, a very clearly organized pitch and the fact that the technology that is available here and now to implement it.
Thanks.
michelle -
khenry
Hi Michelle,
Thank you for your comments and taking the time to review my project. And thank you for rewatching the pitch and letting me know that it had a hook that encouraged you to look at it again to recap anything you had missed. As I said to David, I battled with how best to include ‘the essential’ elements and the best way to present in the given time. I did think it may have been too much information but hoped there was enough hook that persons would either watch again and freeze frame or contact anyway if it was too quick or too much. I really appreciate your comments as they and others (along with viewing other pitches) have given me more thoughts and insight on how to improve it.Thanks
Kerry-Ann
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Jim
BreakOut Illustrator – A3
In my venture proposal I present a new product called BreakOut Illustrator produced by my company, BreakOut Assistive Inc. I don’t really have a company (yet) but this is the product I would want to start with when I do. 😉 Here is my elevator pitch: My venture pitch is here: BreakOut Illustrator – Venture […]
Continue reading BreakOut Illustrator – A3 Posted in: Week 13: Venture Forum-
ashleyross
Jim, I love your concept! I’ve chosen your venture as one of my 3 for a more detailed review. Anything that has to do with assisting the atypical learner in some way always captures my interest. 🙂 But for now, I wanted to say I think it’s great that you’ve provided an example of Breakout Illustrator in your elevator pitch. Looking forward to reading your venture pitch. 🙂
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Jim
Thanks, Ashley, for your feedback!
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Angela Novoa
Hi Jim,
I really loved your venture. The Breakout Illustrator is an innovative concept that addressees the needs of a number of educators and students. Your focus on a particular need allow costumers to elucidate the reason someone will buy or use this product.
Your Venture Pitch provides detailed information about the pain point, marketing, championship, competition, and the amount of money required for running the project. Although the Venture Pitch provided detailed information about how to obtain revenues, I would suggest to offer more clear information about how soon would an investor be recompensed.
I would invest in the Breakout Illustrator as it offers an innovative solution for students with special needs or language learning students and their teachers.
Angela.
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Jim
Thanks for your investment offer. I will email you my bank information… 🙂
Thanks for your suggestions about how I could improve me venture pitch!
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Doug Smith
Hi Jim,
Nice pitch, it was very clear as to what your venture is and who would use and benefit from it. I personally prefer the voice pitch over music, and I think this can help an investor help connecting with the venture. I would have liked to hear more about the market that you are creating or entering, even if it is a rough estimate in terms of size or scale.
cheers
Doug-
Jim
Thanks for the feedback, Doug. I tried to get into the market a little more in the venture pitch but I think it should be mentioned in the elevator pitch.
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Julie S
Nice work Jim,
The elevator was very clear and I liked the voice narration over the images because it allowed me to see the concept of what you are trying to do with the product. I was also really impressed with the quality of the document for the venture pitch in terms of content and aesthetic appeal. It inspires confidence in the quality of your future product.
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Jim
Thanks, Julie; your reaction is exactly the reaction I was looking for… But, I think I should have included some more business details. Anyway, thanks for your feedback!!
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David William Price
Elevator pitch assessment
Jim – BreakOut Illustrator
First Impression: no face, voiceover with screen recording
CEO Credibility: The CEO does not appear as an image or video although there is a voiceover all the way through. I have the voiceover to judge CEO credibility. The voice has no passion and uses the passive mood of expression. I might take a negative inference based on the fact the CEO is unwilling to appear.
Management Team: No team is mentioned, so I have no way to judge. I might take a negative inference based on the fact the CEO is unwilling to talk about the team
Venture Concept: Apparently works with web pages, inserting images into text-heavy web pages from an image database with text-analysis algorithms to help students needing images.
Opportunity Space: Apparently aimed at students with special needs in education but there’s no description of the intended market (who will buy), or what the market size is, or the revenue this venture can capture.
Market Readiness: No description of how this will be marketed or distributed, how to enter the market or how to grow presence.
Competitive Edge: The idea is apparently to have images automatically added to text-heavy web pages. The question is, why wouldn’t learners simply navigate to web pages with more images, or use Google image search? No indication of how many web pages are text-heavy but the web is designed to be very image friendly. The concept is interesting, however
Exit Strategy: No indication of their target market, its size, or how they will capture it. No indication of what investment is wanted or how it will be repaid.
Overall Investment Status: I don’t see the CEO or the team, I don’t know who the targeted market is. I don’t know how my investment will be repaid. I don’t know how this will be marketed. I consider this high risk but I’m curious enough to read the venture pitch.
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Jim
Thanks, David for taking a look at my elevator pitch. I appreciate the detail with which you examined it. I was not surprised, when you applied the suggested EVA tool for the venture pitch on my elevator pitch, that you found it lacking. My strategy in the elevator pitch is to highlight the how it worked, the target users, and that there is no competition because it is brand new tool.
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David William Price
Jim Breakout Illustrator – Venture pitch assessment
CEO Credibility: Founder describes self as a 20-year educator.
Management Team: Mentions a business executive partner with 20 years experience and Joshi, a researcher but does not indicate whether Joshi will be recruited.
Venture Concept: Adding images to text-heavy webpages automatically for special needs students. No indication of most costly problems for helping special needs students or why this solution addresses a compelling problem.
Opportunity Space: Does not mention number of special needs students, current costs of handling their needs. Mentions legislated requirements for assisting special needs students “in most western nations” but does not explain requirements, existing compliance efforts, timelines for compliance, budgets for compliance, or costs of alternatives. Suggests district-level licensing for K-12 school boards. Does not suggest pricing, describe initial target markets, or revenues.
Market Readiness: “This mode of assistance is extremely challenging to automate effectively”, “yet to transition to commercial applications”, “minimally assist students at best (confuse them at worst)”,”task…is formidable” – raises huge concerns about development time and costs. Potential partnerships with other learning assistive technology mentioned but not describe synergistic fits or strategies for growing sales. Given stated challenges, estimated time to market of 2 years seems unrealistic.
Competitive Edge: “Basic algorithms have already been published” – research appears to already be discussed in public domain. How affect patentability to protect investment?
Exit Strategy: Requests $1.2 million but does not project sales, projected pricing or revenues to recoup investment or deliver any return on investment. Market of “special needs” K-12 students appears way too small.
Overall Investment Status: Product development is high risk, market not quantified, revenues not projected, return not described. Without some kind of legal requirement for this solution that prioritizes it and associated public money to pay for it, consider this high risk and would not pursue it.
PS: A vision and mission are ideally derived from a strategic analysis of your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. They act as rules for evaluating opportunities. When you apply an opportunity to your vision/mission, you should get a YES or NO out of it.
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Jim
Thanks again for your very detailed evaluation of my pitch!! This is valuable feedback that I can use to improve my pitch in the next revision.
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Jay
Hi Jim,
I think you have a great idea and although I would imagine it would require a lot of research to develop such a technically complex idea and you have addressed as a challenge in your venture pitch. You clearly define what this product will do provide evidence of research in academia which adds backing to your pitch-proof that others are giving attention to the concept in recognized settings and fields.
The market is defined and you illustrate how such a tool would benefit the end-users-special needs students (those struggling to make meanings from text) and language learners.
I would have one questions with regards to market. You write the market is truly global. Does this also mean across languages or only in an English language context? I am not a technical expert so would ask if an algorithm could be applied universally to all languages or would it have to be re-developed for other languages?The market would then be for English language learners or students in English schools with potential for expansion into other languages in the future (if it is necessary to redevelop in order to apply in different language contexts).
Through your well-developed list of strengths and weakness you show you are aware of the risks but also the possibilities of this idea and supported by these strengths.
Overall I like your pitch and think the idea, upon development, has potential and I would pursue it.
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Jim
Thank you, Jay, I appreciate your comments and analysis very much! I think you make a very good point about the algorithm being applicable to other languages… I am not an expert either. Even if one can be developed for English, you might very well be correct that the algorithm cannot just be applied to another language…. Maybe to another language that has very similar structures as English (say a Germanic language?). Nevertheless, if an algorithm could be developed that worked well in English, I think that that success would provide the motivation for development in other languages and I would think that there would have to be a fairly broad overlap of parallel development that could result lower costs when development focused on other languages. Thanks again for your feedback!
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andrea
Hello Jim,
As we’ve all discovered it’s challenging to describe a product, how it works and who it supports in just one minute, but you did that very comfortably in your elevator pitch without overwhelming me. I like the concept for Break Out Illustrator, and in your elevator pitch it seems very straightforward.
Your venture pitch was just as clear, and you addressed some of the challenges of the product development head-on. I appreciated your honesty about these issues, but as a potential investor I would want to see how you planned to deal with those issues. Your idea to include the appendix of regulations was an interesting idea and clever way to reinforce the ‘pain’ for which your product can help deliver a solution.Regarding market size, I think you’re suggesting that pretty much every school is a potential customer. I’d like to know what part of that market you’re aiming for, or where you would plan to begin marketing. My understanding from your statement “With powerful web-page language translation tools provided at little to no cost, the potential scope of BreakOut Illustrator’s customer base is truly global” is that translation tools could mean that your product would function with any language? This is exciting and also huge – would this require a different mode of development, and could it add to the development costs? I think that because you included numbers about the amount of funding you’d need (for which I applaud you, by the way – way to include numbers!), it would have balanced the pitch to show costs for customers, and put some dollars to the revenue models you mention.
Those were a few of my questions, Jim, but overall I thought your pitches were informative, really well organized and clear. You’ve also opened my eyes to a new market.
Andrea
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Jim
Hi Andrea,
Yes – if I had more time 🙂 I would have gone into more detail… but with web translation tools, I think a product like mine could be used in other languages. And yes, I did want to include more numbers but I was concerned even at the numbers I included. I really have no experience in business and I estimated what I thought would be salary, office lease, development, equipment, and other common business expenses… Thanks for taking the time to review my pitch!!-
andrea
Hi Jim – interesting when you said “I was concerned even at the numbers I included.” I avoided stating that I needed a specific amount of money entirely because I found this quite intimidating. Good for you for going out on a limb with it when you weren’t sure. Do you think this venture is something you’d like to pursue?
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Jim
One never knows! I think I love teaching too much to leave it… so very rewarding…
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verenanz
HI Jim!
I couldn’t see your elevator pitch (I’m in China) but I really like your venture pitch. I think you should add ESL students as another possible market- especially beginner learners. The idea of having an image next to text is very appealing! Your idea seems well researched, well written, clear and well presented. Why not add another market?Verena:)
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Jim
Thanks Verana! I appreciate your feedback of my pitch. I talked informally with a few SERTs and they confirmed that they would be quite interested in seeing such a product if it would help students in the way I said it would help….
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ashleyross
Hi Jim, sorry it’s taken longer then I hope to write this for you. Here it goes…
Webpages are filtered through Breakout Illustrator to assist students who have difficulty making meaning from text heavy webpages by adding helpful and informative images and diagrams that are embedded directly into the text. Before even reading the whole venture pitch I could see the potential; I know there’s a demand for this product and if you can actually create it, I think it will be very successful. I can see many different types of students using this product: from students with learning disabilities who have dyslexia, students with ADD who can’t concentrate long enough to read a text heavy webpage, students with various degrees of autism, ESL students and even students who just prefer images throughout their text could benefit from this product.
This product sounds promising but as an EVA I wonder will it really work? Making sure the “on-the-fly” insertion of images and diagrams works properly so that it doesn’t insert pictures that are irrelevant or that will confuse and discourage the reader more would be one of my biggest concerns. However, you are aware of this and like you say, just because it’s complex doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be developed. Besides, if you think of other assistive technologies like reading software that reads any text out loud “on-the-fly” or voice recognition software that converts sound into text, I’m pretty sure both of those products were initially complex to produce and they’re both really successful now. There is a lot of initial work that would need to go into this product before a student could use it, but it’s not impossible.
Another question as an EVA I would have for you is although you and your business partner have lots of experience in the education and business field, who`s going to actually be coding and formulating the algorithms to make this product possible? Do you have someone in mind or are you in the process of finding someone?Overall I think you have a great product and one that has the potential to be very successful. I would definitely invest in this product. Also, one company that I believe could be a great partner for BreakOut Illustrator is Cambium Learning Group (http://www.cambiumlearningtechnologies.com/) who provides a wide range of research-based education solutions for the atypical learner.
Great job Jim!
Cheers,
Ashley
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Jim
who`s going to actually be coding and formulating the algorithms to make this product possible? Do you have someone in mind or are you in the process of finding someone?
Excellent question. And, as you saw, there is no mention of it in the venture pitch. I was aware that I would need expert people in this area. If I had thought about it more, I probably would have said that I would try to recruit Joshi, the researcher I mentioned who came close. But I know, from doing the research, that Joshi now works for a corporation so it might be difficult to get him. In any event, you are absolutely right… need to find expertise in this area. But, the University of Waterloo is not far from me (60 mins away) That’s a world class university known for computer science. Perhaps I could start there 😉 Thanks for the link to Cambium – my board uses many of the products from that group of companies. Thanks again for taking the time to look over my venture in so much detail.
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ashleyross
I think if you were to go through with this venture contacting Joshi would be where I’d start, even if he does say no you’ve at least asked. 🙂 Contacting the University of Waterloo is also a good idea. If neither of those two options works out for you and you still want to create this product, I may have someone in mind for you. 🙂
Best of luck!
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mcquaid
Hi, Jim. You’ve secretly been one of my top three… until now, when I could finally look at your full pitch!
Brand-wise, I like your logo. I’m not crazy about the text shadowing effect, but the geometric design is cool. I also like how it featured watermark or TV channel-style throughout your video. Your project name could better match what it does (the BreakOut part doesn’t especially catch my interest), but it’s memorable. I thought the mock-up was great, but that the model web page looked a little “Geocities” to me.
In some ways, I like that work has already been done in this area, and in some ways I am not. Despite how you point out how your product would not be hampered by the same issues that a similar, previous venture was, a past failure with something close to your product makes me nervous. That being said… you can also learn from their challenges and move forward with more knowledge.
It’s a definite plus that your venture has no direct competition. When I read about ideas like this, I am always thinking about which of my students could use it. You’ve got me wondering about how your program could even work in reverse… where a student could put pictures in a sequence; the pics could have words / tags associated with them that students could pick from. Perhaps it could help them write sentences.
I liked your business partner ideas – it’s always good to have fruitful avenues to pursue.
I, like you was struck by the similarity of our ventures (an assistive program that does something very specific, based on some existing tech., etc.). We both claimed to have no competitors, but I started to think of your program as one. Even though our products do different things, we’d both be competing for the same school dollars.I think it’s going to be tough to get safe, relevant results from text, but it’s a useful idea!
Stephen
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Jim
Hi Stephen,
Thanks for your insightful, honest review. The name “BreakOut Illustrator” occurred to me in the other MET course I was taking this term – ETEC 540. There is a section in one of the modules called “The Breakout of the Visual” which was all about the co-meanings of text and images as well as the tension between text that has visuals embedded within it and the fact that visuals are literally breaking out of the printed text. And this is partially where I got the idea for my venture. Why couldn’t there be a program that simulated the decisions a person makes as they go through text and search through images to illustrate the text. I have a computer programming background and in the days when I programmed professionally (late 80s) I thought almost anything could be represented in code and automated. I think both of our ideas, however, would be incredibly difficult to realize because, at some level, the programming would need to understand the meanings in the text that it was rephrasing or illustrating. This is why I brought up the AI issues… I wanted to be honest an open in my venture about the challenges of the idea. I think that that was a better decision than to appear naive about it. Either way, I don’t think I will get any investors the way it stands!!On another note, it is interesting how close our ideas are. I think there is merit in them both and, if I win the lottery, I will shuffle some cash your way so you can get started 🙂
Thanks for your thoughts and for your collaboration in the course on the files in the cloud project. You and Ashley were great to work with!
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Julie S
Corporate Personal Learning Platform Venture
Hi everyone, Here is my Elevator Pitch. I have created a website for my Venture Pitch which is a combination of video, interactive demo, and text. Good luck to all next week!
Continue reading Corporate Personal Learning Platform Venture Posted in: Week 13: Venture Forum-
bcourey
Hi Julie…your link says that the video is private, so we can’t view it from this link.
Brenda-
Julie S
Thanks Brenda,
I’ve updated the setting and the link. Please let me know if you still have problems.
Sorry about that.
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jarvise
now that I went through your presentation, I’m wondering why we don’t all target corporate learning? It seems that this culture is just more open to new innovation in methods, given that they promise results, and are likely to work. As I view presentations and developed my own, I am frustrated by the fact that the traditional education system is so resistant to change. Those of us who work within it can attest to the fact that those ideas that seem to make it in are those that continue to maintain and validate the status quo rather than push the system to rethink its structures. It’s unfortunate, but to make money in elearning, it seems that a focus on the private sector is the way to go. You have clearly laid out the market and need here, and have identified how you are differentiated. I’m sold, even if I’m still unsure what metadat means. You have convinced me that you know, and I’m good with that. So how do I get in to this market? You have me thinking now… If I had the money, I would invest in this venture.
Emily
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Julie S
Thanks for your feedback Emily. The Corporate market definitely has the funds but it is hard sometimes to know where the next big thing is going to be. Everything that I have been reading in the marketing research says the workplace learning market is going to be significant for the reasons I put in the elevator pitch. You’ve nailed the challenge for this pitch – who the heck knows what metadata is so I have to try to visualize what they will get for addressing the problem.
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Deb Giesbrecht
Julie,
Great elevator pitch – loved the music and graphics. There is a lot of information to consume in a minute, but I really think that you touched on an important gap (and marketable one) within the system. Corporate learning is a huge niche that can easily be tapped as it impacts overall investments of a growing company. It is certainly something that I deal with on a daily basis. Your venture looks well thought out and researched, and certainly something that I would seriously consider investing in. Your concept appears very feasible and doable. You leave the viewer interested at the end – a nice touch.
Deb
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Julie S
Thanks Deb,
I’m in the midst of reviewing your venture and thought that you would have a pretty good understanding about this problem area which is nice because I wasn’t expecting anyone to have a background in these underlying systems concepts. In reading some of the replies I’m wondering if I should have just focussed on the market for elearning and not tried to get the sense of the metadata problem across. I’ll need to think about this a little more.
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hall
Julie S.
I am interested. Your elevator pitch definitely caught my attention. It highlighted some keys points which are needed in failing educational system. I think the graphics and music selection are very good. The idea is very good one, corporate learning has revolutionized our education systems. Many educators moving away the traditional educational system to one that actively incorporate the learners. Thus, your product will attract a large market.
I think drawbacks to your pitch were the amount written material and the font size of words. But overall it is a good presentation.
Conroy
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Julie S
Thanks Conroy,
My big challenge was tryint to give a sense of the problem without going into too much detail so I was hoping this was a good balance. I was actually thinking about increasing the font but didn’t get back to it. Thanks for the reminder.
– Julie
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mcquaid
Hi, Julie.
I thought your music and graphics / transitions were spot-on – very “business-like”. I also thought your ending was a good one. It made it seem like even a small gain in the market would yield large results (although a show like Dragon’s Den often highlights how tough it is to get even just 1% of some markets) – a good way to whet someone’s appetite or pique their interest enough to explore your venture further.
There were a few things that could be done to improve the pitch:
– it exceeded the maximum length
– my eyes were very busy during it, but not in a good way. I was all over the place, trying to read things that weren’t on the screen long enough or were a bit small
– not exactly sure what your business is about, other than just corporate learningCheers,
Stephen
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Julie S
Hi Stephen,
Thanks for your feedback. This venture is for a pretty niche market so I was really concerned about whether or not I could get any sense of the problem across. I wasn’t trying to get you to fully understand the problem or read the slides in detail. If you look at the Wikipedia entry for metadata you’ll get a bit of an idea about how complicated it seems for people to try to describe what it is.
When I’ve done work in this area in the past it has always been with a company where there are experts on staff who understand the metadata problem so this was a first for me. I’m glad I was at least able to get your interest. I thought that what I really need to get this pitch more successful was a set of demo screens that would show the business value but I didn’t have time given that I just came up with the idea when I started on this project.
I was thinking of Dragon’s Den when I did the stat for the 1% so I like that you caught this. I knew that I could explain it better once I got to the venture part. However, I didn’t go into detail because David had said not to worry so much about the financials because we wouldn’t have time.
Thanks for taking the time for the feedback.
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bcourey
Hi Julie,
I was very impressed with your presentation, even though I have no corporate experience at all…although, when I consider the learning needs of our employees who are NOT teachers in our board (and there are hundreds) I must say that our organization could use a platform such as yours.
You used a very good combination of videos and text and I was impressed with your use of graphics – very professional appearance. You described your pain point well – the disillusionment with current training programs – I can recall some dreadful modules for my WHMIS training and my Violence in the Workplace training – really sad little learning events that left me cold, so your idea of providing a customized training platform is a great one. I agree with you that for industrial training, the current elearning systems are not very useful.Your market is well researched and the potential is huge – this is a growing area for ventures. I really enjoyed the interactive part of your presentation – an additional feature I have not seen in other pitches yet. It shows that you have done a great deal of research. I believe that your venture has great potential for return on investment.
Brenda
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Julie S
Thanks Brenda,
I appreciate the feedback of your non-corporate perspective. You’ve shown me an insight into the educational industry where of course there are positions other than just teaching and therefore mulitple perspectives just like in the corporate world.
I’m so glad to hear that you tried out the interactive part. I was experimenting with layering information and ideas in the venture pitch. I would have liked to have more time to combine the two to really demonstate the power of the solution but that will have to be saved for another time.
Thanks again for your feedback,
Julie
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Keisha Edwards-Hamilton
Julie,
Great Pitch. Great concept. Very good use of graphics and I really loved the interactivity you add to your presentation. Your idea is well researched and I am very keen to learning more about this opportunity.
Keisha
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Julie S
Hi Keisha – I spent quite a few hours on that interactive component and wasn’t sure if it would work. I’m so glad to hear you liked it.
Thanks for your feedback,
– Julie
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andrea
Hi Julie,
Great pitch, and a great idea! “Corporations who invested heavily in e-learning and were disillusioned by the results have realized the need for more a personalized approach to training.” The big systems – which cost hundreds of thousands per year for the infrastructure alone – didn’t always deliver the value people wanted. I really like your idea, and would be interested to see it in action as both an employee and an instructional designer.
Andrea
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Deb Kim
Hi Julie,
Your elevator pitch looked very professional. I liked the images and the music you presented in your pitch. However, as it had too much information and images/diagrams in a short pitch, I had hard time focusing and reading things that appeared and disappeared so quickly. In my opinion, it could’ve grabbed more attention if your explanation (your voice) was added to it.
I liked your venture pitch. It was a lot better for me to read your venture pitch and understand what those diagrams in your elevator pitch meant.
Great work, overall!Deb
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khenry
Hi Julie,
Thank you for adding to our experience and analysis by contributing a corporate focus. This is actually an area I am interested in as well. I agree with Deb’s comments. Your pitch looked professional indeed but too much information to digest and read. I also had a challenge with this very thing. You could use less text and still get your point across actually.I really liked the interactive aspect within your venture pitch and the clean presentation. I like the clear presentation of your product details which really offered essential elements that I think you could have zeroed in on some more in your elevator pitch.
Kerry-Ann
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Deb Kim
Math Impossible
Hi all, Here’s the link to my elevator pitch: http://debbykimubcmet.wordpress.com/etec-522/elevator-pitch-math-impossible/ Click the link below for my venture pitch on Math Impossible: http://debbykimubcmet.wordpress.com/etec-522/venture-pitch-math-impossible/ Deb
Continue reading Math Impossible Posted in: Week 13: Venture Forum-
Jim
Hi Deb,
I really liked your elevator pitch… I am not sure where you found that video of the guy turning off the laser beams but it was perfect for your “mission, I mean Math impossible” theme. I suppose the main question that I still have as an investor is how is your product distinct from the thousands of free mathematics resources for teachers and students already online? Math resources are probably one of the best covered areas on the Web in terms of free resources. Before I hand you $1 million, I would need to get a sense, right away from your elevator pitch, of how and why your service/product would be unique and worth paying for.
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Deb Kim
Hi Jim,
Thank you for the feedback. I found this cool powerpoint template from http://www.presentermedia.com. I did venture analysis on his company for A1.
There is a reason I didn’t give a lot of details of Math Impossible in the elevator pitch. It was to grab audience’s attention and to make them more curious about what the venture would be. I thought it’d be too much information releasing if I gave too many details in the elevator pitch.As a math teacher, I’ve been trying to use math resources available online, but I haven’t found really good one that provides a question bank. My venture will focus more on to a question bank and a question generator so that teachers can have free access to it whenever they need questions for exams/tests/quizzes/handouts. Exam banks that are currently available out there cost too much money and it’s a little shame to tell you that most of the secondary schools that I’ve been working don’t have enough resources. Eventually teachers just had to share each other’s resources and it’s very limited. So, I don’t agree with you that “math resources are probably one of the best covered areas on the Web in terms of free resources”.
Deb
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Everton Walker
Deb,
First, I must say good job since we are not experts yet. I like the math concept especially when one considers that many students are not learning the concepts the traditional ways. Obviously, you are going to have competition from other sources, but as time goes by you will be able fix whatever problems surfaced.
Everton
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Deb Kim
Hi Everton,
Thank you for the feedback. New venture always has competition from other ventures, so we always have to come up with better ideas.
My venture has a unique point system so that teachers and students can use accumulated points to purchase questions and school materials. I didn’t give many details in the elevator pitch to increase curiosity from people and make them want to watch the actual venture pitch.Deb
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Julie S
Great elevator pitch Deb! I think having a really upbeat and engaging elevator pitch is critical for your venture – especially if what Jim says is true. You really need to grab the attention and hold it with the longer venture pitch to get those dollars.
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Deb Kim
Hi Julie,
Thank you for the feedback. My purpose for not giving a lot of details in the elevator pitch was to grab people’s attention so that they would get more curious and want to watch the venture pitch to discover what Math Impossible is all about. I guess it had a reverse effect instead. I’ll add more information that can grab the audience’s attention next time.
Thank you!
Deb
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schiong
Hi Deb,
Lovely presentation.
I was very interested with your project because I know many students are struggling with MATH. I have seen several MATH tutorials online. I believe Khan Academy started with Math tutorials as well.I agree that learning Math is possible. Falling in-love might require some work.
I tried to view your venture pitch. But, I could not access it.
I am curious how you are going to go about your project and which Math topics would you be covering like Calculus, Trigonometry, etc …I am also curious how your product would improve the learner’s internal mental process.
Another thing is, is it easy to navigate and does it suggests the next suitable tutorial ?
Most of the math tutorials out there would require the learner to know exactly what he is looking for. Not all learners know exactly where to begin and how to move forward.cheers,
Stephen-
Deb Kim
Hi Stephen,
Can you still not access my venture pitch?
Let me know. If you still can’t, I’ll send you another link. You have to view it with Window Media Player.I’ll briefly answer your questions. Math Impossible is an online resource program focusing specifically on building a question bank for teachers and students. It’ll cover all the math topics from K-12. As a math teacher, I found out that most of the math resources available online were not of big help, especially when it comes to creating a quiz/test/handout. Resources that are available at school (either in DVD or paper) are not enough for many teachers so we end up making our own and share. My venture idea came from there. If we could share resources that we have not just within school but also in cyberspace, we would be able to create a gigantic question bank.
For students, there are not many extra question workbook that students can work on other than textbooks. So, students can use Math Impossible to do extra exercise questions and collect points to purchase school items online.I haven’t thought about giving an online tutorial session in Math Impossible, but it’s a great idea if we can provide a tutorial session. That way, the learner can determinie where to begin.
It’s my venture idea and your feedback is always appreciated as it’s in the imaginative stage at the moment.
Thank you, Stephen!Deb
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bcourey
Great pitches Deb..I too really enjoyed the animation – it really did fit well with your topic. Your elevator pitch didn’t give me many details about your venture, but your longer pitch gave me all the information I needed! This is a great idea to have the collaborative nature of the application – for teachers and students. I was really intriqued by your points system and wonder how that will be tracked and monitored – could it get very complicated? I would love to know the “decent price” point that you mentioned to know if school boards or parents, students, and teachers would find it affordable. Great work!
Brenda-
Deb Kim
Hi Brenda,
Thank you for the feedback.
As for the point system, I haven’t really thought in details. However, since teachers would be evaluating others’ questions and give peer review on them (including the level of difficulty, the topic covered, etc.), it wouldn’t be so complicated. So simply said, each question would be worth a point or two. There would also be employed analysts who would work on the point system.As for the “decent price”, I heard that 30% of an Apple app goes to Apple and 70% goes to the creator. So, I believe if it’s $0.99 (or make it free) for the Math Impossible app, it’d be decent for them.
Thanks!Deb
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Allie
Hi Deb,
Good job! I echo a lot of what previous people have said… your pitch is fun and genuinely engaging, which is at least half the battle. And like Jim and Stephen, I’m wondering about how it competes with ample competition, and exactly how it works. What platform will it use? and is it a question bank – or does it do something more. I think Stephen makes a great point when he suggests that existing math instruction strategies and products might not really be doing the job as well as they could. How does Math Possible build on their weaknesses – to indeed make math possible?
I don’t know if you checked out School of One which we featured in social analytics week. It’s a cool program used in NY schools to teach math – it uses learner analytics to design highly individualized routes through the math curriculum to build on learners’ existing strengths.
Allie
p.s. disclaimer 1: this is all from your elev pitch; i haven’t yet read your venture pitch
disclaimer 2: i haven’t touched math since grade 11 when I might have squeezed out a B in the subject. Not my forte.-
Deb Kim
Hi Allie,
Thank you for the feedback. Yes, Math Impossible will take place in online space where math teachers can collaborate to build a question bank. For students, it will be an exercise bank. So, it has two different question banks, one to support teachers creating questions for quizzes/tests/exams, and the other one to support student learning and improving their mathematical problem solving skills.
I grew up in Korea and you probably know that most Korean students are strong at Math. I remember purchasing a lot of extra workbooks, at least 3 or 4 each year I took Math. There are lots of resources available from various publishing companies in Korea that I not only relied on the textbook but also relied on those workbooks that I purchased to work on my weak areas in Math. Here in Vancouver, there are a few educational book stores that sell math workbooks and some schools use them instead of textbooks. However, they are very expensive (usually $30 or more), and the number of questions in the workbook is limited. Once students understand the concepts of a certain topic, it’s important for him/her to try as many similar questions as possible until he/she gets familiar with it. This means that the student needs some free resources to access. My venture idea came from there.
It’ll be available both online, like Moodle (LMS), and the app.
Thank you for your questions, Allie. I hope I answered them all. 🙂Deb
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Juliana
Hi Deb,
Here is my detailed analysis of your venture.
I really enjoyed your elevator and your venture pitch. I thought your elevator pitch was especially catchy, innovative and it made me want to learn more. In addition, your venture was deceptively simple and as this is an open source idea, I think there is a good potential to have a following.
Pain Point and Solution: I think you did a great job outlining the pain point and how your venture would provide the appropriate solution. I thought it was very innovative in how you would take advantage of social media to not only increase interaction but work to create your question back.
Differentiation: You did a great job outlining the differentiation of your product in that it does have a points system and that it does take advantage of social media. In addition, using the points system to encourage the building of your database was a very good idea. I was thinking that instead of using their points to buy rulers and erasers, if you had it set up so that students could use their accumulated points to buy other apps or iTune downloads, you would probably increase usage and interaction.
Marketing: I was wondering why you were targeting the Lower Mainland area only. I thought this would be a good program to take nationally and internationally. In addition, as you are dealing with numbers, language won’t be a huge issue unless you are dealing with word problems. I do agree that students from different countries may have difficulties when doing discussions, but numbers have a universal language to them and it can be easy for people to follow how a solution is derived.
Championship: Nothing was mentioned on this. I would have liked to know more about who would be creating the system and who was carrying out this venture.
Competition: You did cover this and you mentioned that there were not a lot of resources for Maths.
The Ask and the Return: Nothing was really mentioned
Excellent job!
Juliana.
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Deb Kim
Hi Juliana,
It’s always good to “see” you in cyberspace. 🙂
Thank you for your through feedback.As for marketing, I wanted to start with the Lower Mainland to see how my customers would respond to my venture and then expand the area. However, you pointed out well that it wouldn’t be a problem taking Math Impossible internationally as it’s dealing mostly with numbers. I didn’t put in my venture pitch, but I was thinking of taking this globally as teachers all over the world could have access to Math Impossible to build a question bank in different languages. As Math Impossible will be a management system that consists of a question bank, creating a question bank according to a specific language wouldn’t be a problem. Once again, I have to emphasize that this is only my venture “idea”. I didn’t pitch an existing venture, so you and other coursemates’ opinions/feedback are always appreciated.
For the Championship part, if you are asking who would be “maintaining” the system, it’d be math teachers who join Math Impossible. As for creating the system, it’ll be starting with a group of Math teachers (probably my friends and colleagues) who like my venture idea and wish to support.
Thanks!
Have a wonderful Christmas. It’s been nice working with you, especially for A2. 🙂Deb
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carmen
Great job on the pitches, Deb. As others have mentioned, your pitches are very engaging and the 3D guy certainly grabbed my attention! To be honest, I was a bit disappointed to see the price tag of these templates. ..
Great concept of creating question bank that we can all share. With the idea of “social eBooks” maybe teachers can collaborate to improve on the teaching materials to make math “possible”. 🙂
I do believe there is a market for your venture idea as I feel the same problem we have in Vancouver. Though there are lots of free worksheets online, they are not tailored to the BC curriculum, and it could take a long time before a teacher can find something at the right level and topic. You might want to look at Koofers.com.. This venture is also about sharing and rating questions and lecture notes.
Thanks for the interesting pitches!
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Deb Kim
Hi Carmen,
Thank you for your feedback.
I hope there is a market for my venture idea in Vancouver. As you said, a lot of free math resources online are not based on the BC curriculum. Therefore, it’s an exigent matter that BC teachers collaborate to share resources which are tailored to the BC curriculum.Thanks for the link to the website. I haven’t heard of Koofers.com yet, so it’ll help me come up with more ideas.
Deb
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David Berljawsky
Hi Deb,
Great hook and great presentation. I though that it was well researched and entertaining at the same time which is a very difficult thing to do. The animations were excellent and straight to the point. The added to the presentation, instead of just acting as eye candy. Fantastic.
The elevator pitch was great, made me want to hear more about the project right away. To me this is a great indicator that you had a great presentation. As a math and technology teacher I can see that you are passionate about the porject and the potential that it has. This was obvious in your project.
David.
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Deb Kim
Hi David,
Thank you for your feedback.
It’s my venture idea so far, but I hope to see it happen in the near future. It’ll be a great resource and the opportunity for many math teachers, not just in BC but also in other areas.Deb
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themusicwoman
Dear Deb,
Love the mission impossible, er, math impossible theme for elevator pitch. It was catchy and made me want to know more which was then laid out very nicely in your venture pitch. Will agree with some of the comments made previously (cost of templates, yikes, lol) and I think you found a product that is certainly worth looking into. Thanks!
Michelle-
Deb Kim
Hi Michelle,
I know! PresenterMedia has great templates (both animated and regular) but it costs a lot. So what I’m doing is that, since I’ve paid for a year already, I’ve been saving almost every single clipart, template, and image to my external hard drive. I’m planning to do that for the next couple of months until my 1 year contract with them is over. Then, I can use them whenever I want.
Deb
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andrea
A3 – myEnglishAssistant
Hi everyone, My venture pitch is for a language support app for smart phones. This project definitely pushed me outside my MET comfort zone, but I’m looking forward to this week hearing and reading about everyone else’s ideas. Andrea Here are my elevator pitch, and my venture pitch.
Continue reading A3 – myEnglishAssistant Posted in: Week 13: Venture Forum-
Jim
Wow! Is that your voice or did you get a professional to record the narration? Seriously. Whatever voice that is, it is clear and professional. Anyway, your elevator pitch is one of the best I have seen so far. Concise. Calm. Professional. The message I took from the elevator pitch was that your product provides mobile support for English language learners. I suppose one possible route for improvement would be to try to work into your slides how this mobile support would look in schools. If this is an educational product, it needs to be usable on an iPod-like device by ELL students in classrooms. How would that look? Also, would you be taking advantage of image processing to assist with vocabulary? That is, for example, Google can search it’s image database using an image (not a word) so you might be able to develop a way for the app to recognize an object and then provide the word…. just an idea…
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andrea
Hi Jim,
Haha, that’s my voice! Thank you for your great suggestions. I did forget to add stuff about using images, which is so important in language learning. I hadn’t thought of this as classroom product, but it would be good to look at the opportunities that offers. Thanks again!
Andrea
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Juliana
I too enjoyed your elevator pitch. I thought it was short, sweet and it would make me want to find out more about your venture. I also liked how you did your graphics in both your elevator pitch and the accompanying venture report you created.
I think my only criticism was that I wanted to know more about it. I would have liked to have seen some more details in your report. Specifically, I would have liked to have seen some ideas on cost-recovery and an approximate development time of your product. I did wonder if what you were offering for free was too little. I thought to generate interest may be a trial time offer would be good (ie. one month). That way people could get an idea of what the App could really do. Anyway, it’s just an idea.
Juliana.
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andrea
Hi Juliana,
Great suggestions – thank you! I really like your temporary trial offer idea. That would be a much better ‘hook’.
Andrea
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schiong
Hi Andrea,
Great presentation.
I can relate to your topic because I am a landed immigrant myself.
I am not sure if this is common knowledge but allow me to share it.
In the Philippines, one of the requirements of the Canadian Embassy (immigration) is that
we take TOEFL or IELTS or provide sufficient proof that we could speak and write in English language. I guess we are not your target market 🙂I am surprise that the rule does not apply to other countries.
Going back to the venture …
I was intrigued with what you said, “When people learn new words, they can enter them in their
personal Word Web.”The statement gave me the impression that the person learned new words somewhere else.
Would your apps be installed or web based?
If it is installed based, you might need to bring a developer who is familiar with Android, iOS, and other platforms. This might increase your costs. Not to mention … you might have to share your profit with Apple (if deployed for iPhone).My first impression of “Remember Me” feature was it is an electronic version of a flash card. Is it ?
I could not find the Return of Investment part and how much shares would you give to the investors.
cheers,
Stephen-
andrea
Hello Stephen,
Thanks for your review and suggestions! I should probably clarify my idea for the word web, which I think I neglected to fully explain in my pitch. The idea is that it’s a tool for people to enter the words they learn during conversation with friends, while looking something up, or potentially through their formal students. These are sort of people’s chosen *targets* for a given time-frame. If I were to revise the pitch, I’d definitely try to make that clear! Describing the reminder feature as an electronic flashcard is a good way to look at it.I agree that numbers, dollars and ROI info are conspicuously absent from my pitch. These things intimidate me a bit, so I left it out… Reviewing other people’s pitches has really reinforced how important that is, however.
Thanks,
Andrea
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Allie
Hi Andrea,
I agree that your voice is made for radio and I.am.jealous! 😉 I feel your EP has a great amount of information, and is really nicely presented. your concept is straightforward and intuitive, and I immediately think, yeah, people would buy that. I’m wondering about what kind of competition myEnglishAssistant faces (are Berlitz and other language companies on the appwagon yet?) and what the learning advantages are above phrasebooks and other language translation/learning technologies?-
andrea
Hi Allie,
So maybe one day I’ll achieve my dream of being a CBC radio announcer!?! 😉
Great questions about the competition from the big language schools & course providers. (I really appreciated in your pitch that you clearly identified the competition.) There are some, and this would be tough competition. For example, Berlitz has a free one for students enrolled in their courses, as well as a paid one for those who aren’t. I hoped to differentiate myEnglishAssistant with the calendar and reminder features, but realize these are available through different tools. It’s an interesting challenge to combine existing tools and try to create unique value with the combination.
Thanks for your comments!
Andrea
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Keisha Edwards-Hamilton
Hi Andrea,
Very good elevator pitch. It provides a good overview of your venture . It identifies the problems, the solution and your target market which is also very good. Your pitch quickly caught my attention and persuaded me to pay attention to your venture. It was convincing and made me want to learn more. I really would love to see how your venture works.
Keisha
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andrea
Hello Keisha,
Thank you for your comments, and I too would be curious to see how it works. 🙂 There are still so many questions to answer, and the process of creating the pitches has been very enlightening.
Andrea
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bcourey
Hi Andrea,
I agree that you have a great voice for narration! It gives you a very professional presence in your pitch. You have targeted a market that is in great need of a product such as yours. ELL students (and adults as well) have very specific needs for language acquisition and you have designed a product that could well fill that need.
I work and live in an area with very few ELL students – very little immigration in my part of the province so I am not as aware of what other products are available as competition, but your ideas of just-in-time learning and personal organizational tools seem like unique solutions to their everyday challenges. You have conducted very detailed research about your market and you seem to have a good handle on the competitive products.
You give options for the consumer – free for the basic service, low cost for additional features – this is very reasonable as the free version still gives good service. I’m not as sure about your request for investment, or the potential return on that investment, but I am wondering if you are offering a not-for-profit venture?
Overall, I really enjoyed your presentations and would be very interested in promoting your idea further.Brenda
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andrea
Hi Brenda,
I appreciate your kind comments – thank you. You mentioned the potential ROI and request for investment. I really didn’t address these, in part because I wasn’t sure what that looks like. My plan hadn’t been to develop a not-for-profit venture, as much as I’d like to be able to do that, because of the cost to develop quality apps. I appreciate the importance of this kind of information in successful pitches however, and have added this to my “do differently next time”list. 🙂
Cheers, Andrea
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Jim
Hi again Andrea,
I wanted to delve deeper into your Venture Pitch and provide some feedback in the form of a brief EVA analysis. As a potential investor, I am looking in your venture pitch for a variety of information:
Entrepreneur confidence:
I chose to review your Venture Pitch because I appreciated the professionalism of your elevator pitch and assumed it would extend into your venture pitch as well. I was not disappointed. Both pitches came is a very professional package. This is important and adds to my confidence that you will be successful. Also, the fact that you are not only a teacher of ESL students, and a second language learner yourself, gives me greater confidence that you have first-hand experience for all perspectives. You mention a partner who has development experience. I would also like to see someone with solid business and sales experience who knows the minute facets of marketing and selling a product such as yours.Good product that will be in demand:
I think you product idea has promise for many reasons not the least of which is the fact that a smartphone is becoming the device that almost everyone owns around the world. Everyone has one so why not develop apps such as yours. I also think the features that you have imagined are very smart. For example, the apps would know that the user wants to book a bus trip and provides the context specific vocabulary needed to communicate during this task. Entering and storing user words and information makes this context possible. The more information entered, the more personal it is, and the more the app can contextualize the vocabulary and other support features for the user.How big is the potential client base:
I think that if you are able to develop and market your product successfully for English language learners, there is no reason why your product could not be retooled for any language learners. This would include a very large number of end users. I think you provide some very good stats on the market size and potential. I think you limit your venture pitch by talking a lot about Canada English as a second language learners stats… your product could be used even more in other countries on smartphones of users who intend to visit, work or study in English speaking countries.Can the product compete successfully on the market:
Here is my major worry with your idea. There are so many competing apps on the market. After an extremely quick search I found all of these apps: 24/7 Tutor Lite, Arabic pod 101 (pocket Arabic), Hiragana Lite, Touchcards, 7 Jours, CherokeeLite, Michel Thomas Method, ChineseBiz, ChinesePod, iPronunciation and , ranslation, German FlashCards Lite(Declan Software), MemWords- Memorize Words- In Spanish, Gengo Lite Flashcard, AccellaStudy Essentials by AccelaStudy, Kana Lite, Prometoys Limited-Word of the Day, LangLearner LLC, Kana Tap, iReview Flashcards, Babbel Mobile, Word Power Lite, Japanese Phrases FREE (TheJapanesePage.com), and Study Arcade. None of these that I could see allows the user to enter information or contextualize the language support. But the real question is how are you going to be able to communicate your app’s features through all of this “app static” in the market? I think you will be able to compete in the market if you can deliver on the apps features and successfully battle through all of the other language apps and show why yours is so much better!Are you honest about challenges:
I was hoping to see a strengths and weaknesses self-reflection in your Venture Pitch but I did not see one. This was my primary tool for talking about whether the entrepreneur is being realistic about the venture.Investment risk?
I would consider this a risky venture to invest in simply because I am not convinced that end users would get a very strong sense that this product is set far above all of the other products. I feel more convinced of that after reading the pitch but I am not quite sure how quickly you could get people buy in. I do like the free version idea but I would not limit it in any way except for time. I would allow it for 2 weeks. I think a free app for two weeks is a reasonable amount of time to “evaluate” the app. It would also simplify the process. Download. Use. Pay after two weeks. Or not. So I think you have a great product idea but I worry about how you would sell it.-
andrea
Hello Jim,
Huge thanks for your thorough review and feedback!
“But the real question is how are you going to be able to communicate your app’s features through all of this “app static” in the market?” Agreed — this is a huge challenge! There are so many language apps out there, and the market is pretty crowded. Communicating the difference to buyers would be a challenge.
To add to that, I agree that a team member with business and marketing acumen would be critical to this venture. Thanks for that point, because it really highlights the importance of presenting a team that inspires confidence with their ability to overcome any challenges.
Your suggestion regarding a time-limited trial is also an excellent idea. It’s a far more effective tool to help people ‘experience the difference,’ so to speak.
Thanks again!
Andrea
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verenanz
Andrea!
What a great product. I would use it in my ESL classes as a tool for “theme based learning”…I don’t know if I would be able to afford the $20.00 version…but I like the idea that you would have a range of options. Your venture pitch is extremely well written – extremely easy to understand – almost written like an advertisement. I really liked the idea. Sorry I couldn’t see the pitch – in China…
Verena:)-
andrea
Hello Verena,
Thanks for your feedback. Hope you’re having a great time in China!
Andrea
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Allie
Hi Andrea, I enjoying reviewing and analysing your Venture Pitch.
The overall presentation format is fantastic, and I’m enjoying getting a better sense of the product. I think it has a world of potential – I can certainly see my English Assistant being in use. Something we haven’t really explored in this course are technologies that are developed and then purchased by larger companies (my boyfriend’s friend builds and sells startups a lot). My hunch is that the best prognosis for MyEnglishAssistant may be that the app ultimately gets purchased by Berlitz, Rosetta Stone or another larger language learning organization because the market in overall language learning is so saturated, as you indicate. In my research, I found that app development is between $60-100K (Forrester; can access this through UBC library. Go to subject research guides > business > management > new business development.) I would imagine that once the technology is assembled, it would be fairly easy to translate into new language versions.
I have a few ideas and suggestions that may be helpful in taking this Pitch to the next level:
-I’m wondering if you can perhaps include more on the demand on the part of language learners for language apps, and for personalized learning. What do language learners perceive as their needs?
– I think it would be helpful to provide richer demographic information on language learners? Based on my own experiences in Vancouver there are language learners at all income levels, but it seems that a lot of the students at the language schools are pretty affluent. I think that myEnglishAssistant could be beneficial to all, but require separate marketing strategies (maybe for lower income users, target social service organizations that provide language instruction and support for newcomers?)
– I’m wondering if you could provide a more detailed overview of the competition, given that it is quite vast and diverse? What are the top apps? Are there common consumer/review complaints? How does this app correspond to other language learning programs – does it complement them? From an education perspective, I’m wondering what theories or evidence-based models of 2nd language education you’re drawing on, or might further draw on in your app development?-
andrea
Hello Allie,
Thank you for your thoughtful review and great recommendations. Your suggestion to understand and explain the market – both customers and competition – more fully were well taken. That’s something I’ve appreciated in a number of the other pitches. Researching the competition would be an interesting but intense process, involving lots of sampling, as I imagine you did during your research. While I tried a few different apps, to run with this idea I would need to have an even more intimate knowledge of the competition.
You also make an interesting point about small ventures being acquired by bigger fish. This isn’t something I’d considered for my pitch or others, but it’s probably quite a likely future for lots of tech start-ups. (I’d be curious to hear from David on this, and what this means for the future of the original product and team.)
Thanks again for your constructive comments!
Andrea
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themusicwoman
Dear Andrea,
Wow. Great voice 🙂 Your elevator pitch made me want to know more.
I really like your venture pitch. Your idea is one that really makes sense. As an investor, that’s what I’m looking for. I can see a use for this application immediately. Your idea is also one that is feasible. Again, a plus for an investor. Like the CEO profile. Here is where I might perhaps be wary as an investor as both the product and yourself have yet to be “tested”. As for for your marketability: I love the idea of getting into the schools. That’s where you hooked me. I like the idea of targeting that very lucrative market. As a choir teacher of many international students, as much as I’d like them off their cell phones, perhaps they could use this app to learn that I want them to sing, not text on their phones 🙂
The biggest impediment to your venture would be competition. However, as you’ve priced it right, I think it could do well. I would need more information on what is out there already and how your product would fare against those.
Thanks for letting me get in my two cents worth 🙂
Michelle
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Jim 5:28 pm on November 28, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi Stephen!
Very cool elevator pitch and I was struck by the similarity between your product and my product in terms of the underlying rationale. Both of our products assist students who have difficulty making meaning from text. Yours rephrases to a different reading level. Mine automatically adds relevant images.
Anyway, constructive criticism: Your video could be six seconds longer 🙂 That gives you time to do a 6-second mock-up of what the rephrasing application might look like. That is about the only thing I thought was missing. I thought the part where you spoke was well written, concise, and communicated all you needed to communicate in a very short time. And, VERY cool logo. Makes my logo look like a hack job!
(BTW – Your venture proposal will be one of the three I will be reviewing in more detail tomorrow. Right now, I am looking at all 10 and making an initial post re: the elevator pitch.)
mcquaid 6:42 am on December 4, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Jim, you can probably appreciate how long it took me to make that logo! From start to finish, it was in the “hours” category. I looked for a site that made free logos & had free / stock images. Since a finished logo had to be paid for, I ended up copying my designed logo, complete with grid lines into a photo-editing program, and erasing the grid lines / colouring in pixels by hand! I like what I ended up with, but would also like it to be a bit sharper.
You’re absolutely right about those lost six seconds… that’s 10% more time I could have used! The final take of me you saw, though, was self-shot-take number 27. I was happy with what I ended up with by then!
bcourey 5:22 pm on November 29, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi Stephen,
I was really impressed with the logo as well for your venture. You are definitely addressing a problem teachers face – finding reading materials that are leveled to the ability of the reader. As a former literacy coach for our schools, I feel your pain. As schools and students purchase more and more e-books, I can see this becoming very useful – but in the meantime, scanning and uploading paper books will be a very time consuming tasks for teachers and parents and I am wondering if they would be willing to do that. Also, you might consider offering some literacy strategies for teachers to help them help students progress in their reading abilities – otherwise they could stay “stuck” at a particular level with little incentive or assistance in improvement. You have a great idea though and you show a lot of insight in your self-reflection!
Brenda
mcquaid 6:44 am on December 4, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi, Brenda. Being “stuck” is a worry of mine, too. I think rePhrase, if it ever really worked, would be but one tool in an LA / resource teacher’s tool box. Starting out, I think it would just work best on newer texts that schools already have in electronic form. If desired enough, scanned copies would also work (and would hopefully be less glitchy than Kurzweil when it comes to fonts, indents, and the like). Thanks for the comments!
Allie 5:32 pm on November 29, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi Stephen,
Your confidence really shines though – giving me confidence in rePhrase – and the name perfectly encapsulates what rePhrase does. I admit that for something as compelling as literacy, I do find your delivery a little… dispassionate? It feels very get-the-job-done-right, but I’m maybe wanting a bit more heart. I think i’ll be giving your VP a good close read, but from the EP, I’m thinking that in an American context the costs of students failing reading levels goes beyond just the costs of their having to re-take a year. Under No Child Left Behind, schools can lose funding if the target % of students don’t pass their levels. I should say, they *are* losing funding, they are being threatened with closure, they are having programs cut, and entire schools have been closed due to underperformance. Unsurprisingly, the schools suffering the effects of NCLB are in poorer areas. This question may be answered in your VP, but i’m wondering about access to this service… In an American context, my understanding is that schools are funded through property taxes, and so that the schools that will best be able to afford rePhrase are richer school districts; will the poorer districts be able to get this service that they need?
mcquaid 6:46 am on December 4, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi, Allie. I get the “dispassionate” thing. Maybe a little too Jedi, I was. I think I was trying to project confidence and capability / trustworthiness (so I’m glad that came through), but (as in real life, too), I could probably have used a bit more “oomph” as well.
To address the “who can use it” comments, I wonder if it could be worked into rePhrase’s pricing /availability plan that schools ID’d as needier / poorer would qualify for discounts or even free licenses…
Thanks for the thoughts!
Keisha Edwards-Hamilton 7:00 pm on November 29, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
I am intrigued with your venture. As I went through you venture pitch I can see where it would be useful in my school since it could help students with reading problems. I like the fact that it actually make words simpler so that students can understand because many times students do not understand what they read and therefore may get “turned off” from reading. Although the idea encourages reading, I would add more options for rephrasing in an attempt to cater to the different multiple intelligences of learners. For example, probably I would include sounds and animation to hold readers attention to. Great concept!
mcquaid 6:49 am on December 4, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi, Keisha… maybe sounds and animations could be downloadable add-ons for the app, creating another source of revenue. Good thinking!
You’re also right about the “turned off reading” point. I have students of mine in mind when I think of this program. I want them to feel capable, be able to read what everyone else in the class is reading, join in the conversation, and grow in their skills.
Juliana 9:29 pm on November 29, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi Stephen,
You have an interesting idea here. I especially liked how you brought in all of the other educational research into your proposal. I think many times the reason why a venture falls flat is because they forget the basics.
It also looks like you have done extensive market research on how this program can eventually grow. The fact that you took the time to do that would definitely sway an investor. I have not taught in the K-12 environment, but I can see where your product could be useful. I think I have always taken for granted my level of reading and comprehension and never really thought about the students who are struggling. As a result, I think your venture could provide a little bit of help to students who struggle.
As with many of these ventures, it could be hard to gauge what people are willing to shell out their hard earned cash for. I do wonder if people would be willing to renew their license on a yearly basis, but that could be just my personal bias. I don’t like software or apps that do ask me to shell out money like that, but I think I am in the minority.
Juliana.
mcquaid 6:52 am on December 4, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi, Juliana.
My reasoning for the yearly license was for a few reasons, I think:
– a program like Kurzweil is quite expensive (four figures around here). I wanted to price myself WAY below that, and make my product look quite enticing.
– some classes / schools will need this program more or less over the years as students come and go. This would allow them to get it when they need it and not renew when they don’t.
– the affordable yearly license would ensure I have a continuing source of revenue instead of a one-time purchase.
– the program may get tweaked from year to year, so a new download / license would be as up-to-date as possible
Thanks for the thoughts!
jenaca 3:10 am on November 30, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi Stephen,
I was really impressed with your pitch and the idea you created! You are definitely targeting a current problem that many schools are faced with today- Implementing and finding reading materials that are leveled accordingly to the meet the needs of students. I also think the name rephrase is perfect for your venture.
Although I think you have a great idea and pitch here, I am a little unsure about the idea of having the teachers scan and upload the paper books. Maybe this is something you could add to your pitch?
Otherwise, I think you have a great idea!!
Jenaca
mcquaid 4:25 am on November 30, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
The scanning is something that crossed my mind about my idea as a drawback, as well – I figured I wouldn’t be the only person to think of it (as I see a couple have now). I think, where I saw the progression (whether I said it in my venture pitch exactly or not) was for the use with e-books first (no scanning needed), the use of scanned texts for those who really want them (it’s what we do with Kurzweil), and then… I imagined it as ultimately being something that would work best on a mobile. The user would use their mobile’s camera to see / capture text, and rePhrase would rephrase it for them. Google Goggles can translate… why can’t rePhrase reword?
Hopefully that alleviates your concerns, my dear investor. 😉
jenaca 6:49 am on November 30, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
My concerns are alleviated!! 🙂
I will be
The Venture:
rePhrase is the world’s first ever automatic text leveler and enabler of adaptive text. What rePhrase does is take text from a chosen reading level and adapt it (without changing meaning as much as possible) to make it readable for almost any reader. Taking existing school texts and eliminating the need for many differentiated materials makes things easier on teachers, students, and school budgets.
Additional Information On How it Works:
• rePhrase determines the reading level of a body of electronic text that someone wants to read
• Next the reader will alter the difficulty with a sliding scale at the top of the interface
• Once a new reading level has been established, the program will use the abilities of a thesaurus and grammar check to change the words of a text without changing its overall meaning or hurting its sentence flow
• As students grow in ability, they can adapt or change the difficulty of the text to suit themselves
My Thoughts:
rePhrase is a well thought and developed idea. The elevator pitch includes the essential information to help me further my decision of investing deeper into this idea. The pitch included statistics, facts, was very precise about the idea and showed confidence. rePhrase definitely has a place in the educational market and have the potential to help schools improve their current reading scores. I believe for the future, this service could create their own reading line, which would enhance the status of this product and essentially create more revenue.
Great Pitch!
Jenaca
mcquaid 6:54 am on December 4, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Thanks, Jenaca. I’m glad you’ve been convinced! 😉
I also like your reading line idea… what a great source of dynamic products and constant revenue!
Jim 6:39 pm on November 30, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi again Stephen,
I wanted to delve deeper into your Venture Pitch and provide some feedback in the form of a brief EVA analysis. As a potential investor, I am looking in your venture pitch for a variety of information:
Entrepreneur confidence:
You exude confidence and calmness in your on camera appearance. Did that confidence continue into your longer Venture Pitch? I think it did continue because I saw arguments made for this product that are reasonable and interesting. You educational background is an asset but I would want to know who you have heading up the business aspects of the company.
Good product that will be in demand:
I think rePhrase is a great idea but the road to develop an app that can accurately and quickly rephrase text AND retain the original meaning will be a challenge. I think a successful app in this case would almost need to border on a kind of artificial intelligence (AI) that hasn’t quite been developed. Synonymous word replacement is straightforward but meaning variability, meaning context, word use variability, word connotation variability, and so on might change the meaning of rephrased text so drastically that the original message would be lost. (See honest about challenges below)
How big is the potential client base:
I like your market description and you are absolutely right about its potential. You mentioned several ways that the user base could be increased such as bundling with new tablets or other devices. That is a very good idea if a deal could indeed could be struck!
Can the product compete successfully on the market:
You rightfully mention that there is no competition although if I was going to invest in your venture, I might look at some of the AI work being done. There are algorithmic summarizers that do an excellent job with text and the more sophisticated ones might apply some AI algorithms that go beyond mathematical models most often used.
Are you honest about challenges:
Your pros and cons section speaks well of this. I think you are enthusiastic and excited but also in tune enough with reality to know the limitations. Obviously, if you were to go further, you would need to look into other patents and any other products that even comes close to your idea, including summarizers. You would also need to look at feasibility. Can an app really rephrase text in the way you describe? That is, an app that can written now (not ten years from now…).
Investment risk?
I think there is risk in the investment of this venture because, while the idea is very clear and the demand would be great and the problems solved would be significant, the road to the development of a successful product is not clear by any standard. I think your product, in order to be successful, would depend on yet to be developed AI components because your algorithms would have to somehow get a handle on the meaning of the text. Replacing synonymous simple words for more complex words will not work. My own knowledge of the AI research and history of AI failures over the last 60 years does not make me feel very confident.
P.S. The point I make in the Investment Risk section above is one I would aim at my own Venture, too. BreakOut Illustrator has no clear path to development because I am not sure the technology exists yet to actually do what I want the programming to do.
mcquaid 7:01 am on December 4, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi, Jim.
I’d like to know more about who would (like to) be in on this venture as well, to steer it into fruition. Anyone? Bueller?
You’re absolutely right about the technological challenges. One of the strengths of my product is also one of its biggest challenges – its novelty / ground-breaking nature. These technological / AI challenges will definitely be a large hurdle. It’s a risk… but I really do wonder if it would be worth it. If someone (or group) out there thought it was possible (I think it must be, at least partially so, as I envision it), I’d gladly partner up to see it realized. Maybe I should talk to two of my Godparents’ sons… they recently had success on Dragons’ Den with their Honibe products.
Thanks for your honest comments, Jim. It’s been great working with you and chatting with you throughout this course!
schiong 8:57 pm on November 30, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi
I like your rePhrase product.
As I was going through your Venture Pitch, I was also thinking … “How can this be implemented? ”
Few things came to my mind … database, theory of automata, and AI.
I think the application / program is doable. I am tempted to write the code. But, that’s not my role today 🙂
Now, what I am not certain is how much memory would the program require because it needs to look at how the words are put together … and look for a viable rePhrase without loosing its original meaning. But, this is minor.
cheers,
Steve
mcquaid 7:03 am on December 4, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi, Steve.
I like your can-do / can-be-done attitude! Maybe you should contact me later with your programming hat on instead of your EVA one!
It’s uplifting to hear that, maybe, the hurdles are surmountable.
Steve
verenanz 11:20 pm on November 30, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hello!
I really love your idea. I am in China right now selling online ESL courses to students…and I can obvioulsy see the potential in your product…but I couldn’t “see” your video – I apologize.
Your marketing and licensing agreement system seems to follow http://www.busuu.com. I would look to them for some ideas…
Something that I felt that you were missing was how you would sell your product. Marketing overseas is cultually different than western countries – as I am sure you are well aware. Getting local schools to even “consider” different ideas – is extremely difficult. How will you get to that “billion”dollar market?
That said, I think that you have a great idea and I really hope that it comes to fuition- because we would be interested in working with you….www.GlobalEd.ca
Thanks,
Verena:)
mcquaid 7:06 am on December 4, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi, Verena. I have looked at busuu before – earlier in this course, I think. Perhaps I should delve deeper into the site for some ideas. Thanks for the direction and positive comments. If something ever comes of this, I’ll look you up!
carmen 10:54 am on December 2, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Great idea venture indeed, Stephen, and there’s definitely a need for this product. I know that for high schools in Vancouver, there are ESL social and ESL science classes, in which students simply can’t join the regular class because of their limited English comprehension skills. It is not easy to find reading materials with simpler language, and yet, teaches concept at the same level of difficulty that suits these students’ needs. The result is that sometimes students who move into the regular science class might find it difficult to adapt when other students of the same grade have learned the foundations in the previous grades. An app like rePhrase will help these teachers provide reading materials that is closer to the regular class (ex. Science 10) and better prepare these ESL students when they join the regular classes.
One concern I have is how the program might deal with long sentences with complicated sentence structures. I often work with students who understand all the words, but couldn’t decode the meaning of the sentence when the words are put together.
Another concern is about learning how to read… sometimes translation programs give us something that’s understandable, but not quite grammatically correct. It might take a while to perfect rePhrase.
Since I don’t have the technical knowledge, I’m not quite sure if these problems can be solved with existing technology. However, I am convinced that this is a great idea and has a lot of potential!
mcquaid 8:00 am on December 4, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi, Carmen.
Thanks for your encouraging remarks!
I too, aside from my low-level readers, thought of immigrant students as a great target market – students at grade level mentally, but behind the pack in English. Allowing them to more easily access the content in classes they attend would be a great help to them.
Long, complex sentences, phrasing (just think of the punctuation issues and possible shifts in meaning), and overall grammar are definitely big concerns of mine, too. I have no idea how to technically attack them… just how I’d like them to work!
Thanks again for your e-props!
themusicwoman 9:20 pm on December 3, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Wow, Stephen. What a great concept. i especially like the logo. 🙂
Agree with many of the sentiments already expressed but I have to say I really appreciate your research into this project. As well, I think I spent a lot of time going over your list of pros and cons at the end of your document. Kudos to you for putting it out there. Again. Wow. I appreciate the fact that it is a new product so much of your information is difficult to acquire.
Thanks.
michelle
mcquaid 8:02 am on December 4, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi, Michelle. Thanks for the compliment on the logo – I truly thought having a good one would lend some credibility to my venture. I remember looking at the Evernote pitch and thinking what the logo did for it – it makes it seem more real and memorable.
Thanks for the rest of the comments, too… hopefully David reads them all before grading me! 😉