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  • andrea 7:19 pm on November 27, 2011
    3 votes
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    Hi everyone, My venture pitch is for a language support app for smart phones.  This project definitely pushed me outside my MET comfort zone, but I’m looking forward to this week hearing and reading about everyone else’s ideas. Andrea Here are my elevator pitch, and my venture pitch.

    Continue reading A3 – myEnglishAssistant Posted in: Week 13: Venture Forum
     
    • Jim 5:50 pm on November 28, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Wow! Is that your voice or did you get a professional to record the narration? Seriously. Whatever voice that is, it is clear and professional. Anyway, your elevator pitch is one of the best I have seen so far. Concise. Calm. Professional. The message I took from the elevator pitch was that your product provides mobile support for English language learners. I suppose one possible route for improvement would be to try to work into your slides how this mobile support would look in schools. If this is an educational product, it needs to be usable on an iPod-like device by ELL students in classrooms. How would that look? Also, would you be taking advantage of image processing to assist with vocabulary? That is, for example, Google can search it’s image database using an image (not a word) so you might be able to develop a way for the app to recognize an object and then provide the word…. just an idea…

      • andrea 8:31 pm on November 28, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Hi Jim,
        Haha, that’s my voice! Thank you for your great suggestions. I did forget to add stuff about using images, which is so important in language learning. I hadn’t thought of this as classroom product, but it would be good to look at the opportunities that offers. Thanks again!
        Andrea

    • Juliana 8:20 pm on November 28, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      I too enjoyed your elevator pitch. I thought it was short, sweet and it would make me want to find out more about your venture. I also liked how you did your graphics in both your elevator pitch and the accompanying venture report you created.

      I think my only criticism was that I wanted to know more about it. I would have liked to have seen some more details in your report. Specifically, I would have liked to have seen some ideas on cost-recovery and an approximate development time of your product. I did wonder if what you were offering for free was too little. I thought to generate interest may be a trial time offer would be good (ie. one month). That way people could get an idea of what the App could really do. Anyway, it’s just an idea.

      Juliana.

      • andrea 8:33 pm on November 28, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Hi Juliana,
        Great suggestions – thank you! I really like your temporary trial offer idea. That would be a much better ‘hook’.
        Andrea

    • schiong 1:36 pm on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Andrea,

      Great presentation.
      I can relate to your topic because I am a landed immigrant myself.
      I am not sure if this is common knowledge but allow me to share it.
      In the Philippines, one of the requirements of the Canadian Embassy (immigration) is that
      we take TOEFL or IELTS or provide sufficient proof that we could speak and write in English language. I guess we are not your target market 🙂

      I am surprise that the rule does not apply to other countries.

      Going back to the venture …
      I was intrigued with what you said, “When people learn new words, they can enter them in their
      personal Word Web.”

      The statement gave me the impression that the person learned new words somewhere else.

      Would your apps be installed or web based?
      If it is installed based, you might need to bring a developer who is familiar with Android, iOS, and other platforms. This might increase your costs. Not to mention … you might have to share your profit with Apple (if deployed for iPhone).

      My first impression of “Remember Me” feature was it is an electronic version of a flash card. Is it ?

      I could not find the Return of Investment part and how much shares would you give to the investors.

      cheers,
      Stephen

      • andrea 8:54 pm on December 1, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Hello Stephen,
        Thanks for your review and suggestions! I should probably clarify my idea for the word web, which I think I neglected to fully explain in my pitch. The idea is that it’s a tool for people to enter the words they learn during conversation with friends, while looking something up, or potentially through their formal students. These are sort of people’s chosen *targets* for a given time-frame. If I were to revise the pitch, I’d definitely try to make that clear! Describing the reminder feature as an electronic flashcard is a good way to look at it.

        I agree that numbers, dollars and ROI info are conspicuously absent from my pitch. These things intimidate me a bit, so I left it out… Reviewing other people’s pitches has really reinforced how important that is, however.

        Thanks,
        Andrea

    • Allie 5:51 pm on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Andrea,
      I agree that your voice is made for radio and I.am.jealous! 😉 I feel your EP has a great amount of information, and is really nicely presented. your concept is straightforward and intuitive, and I immediately think, yeah, people would buy that. I’m wondering about what kind of competition myEnglishAssistant faces (are Berlitz and other language companies on the appwagon yet?) and what the learning advantages are above phrasebooks and other language translation/learning technologies?

      • andrea 9:05 pm on December 1, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Hi Allie,

        So maybe one day I’ll achieve my dream of being a CBC radio announcer!?! 😉

        Great questions about the competition from the big language schools & course providers. (I really appreciated in your pitch that you clearly identified the competition.) There are some, and this would be tough competition. For example, Berlitz has a free one for students enrolled in their courses, as well as a paid one for those who aren’t. I hoped to differentiate myEnglishAssistant with the calendar and reminder features, but realize these are available through different tools. It’s an interesting challenge to combine existing tools and try to create unique value with the combination.

        Thanks for your comments!
        Andrea

    • Keisha Edwards-Hamilton 7:34 pm on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Andrea,

      Very good elevator pitch. It provides a good overview of your venture . It identifies the problems, the solution and your target market which is also very good. Your pitch quickly caught my attention and persuaded me to pay attention to your venture. It was convincing and made me want to learn more. I really would love to see how your venture works.

      Keisha

      • andrea 9:07 pm on December 1, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Hello Keisha,
        Thank you for your comments, and I too would be curious to see how it works. 🙂 There are still so many questions to answer, and the process of creating the pitches has been very enlightening.
        Andrea

    • bcourey 3:16 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Andrea,

      I agree that you have a great voice for narration! It gives you a very professional presence in your pitch. You have targeted a market that is in great need of a product such as yours. ELL students (and adults as well) have very specific needs for language acquisition and you have designed a product that could well fill that need.

      I work and live in an area with very few ELL students – very little immigration in my part of the province so I am not as aware of what other products are available as competition, but your ideas of just-in-time learning and personal organizational tools seem like unique solutions to their everyday challenges. You have conducted very detailed research about your market and you seem to have a good handle on the competitive products.

      You give options for the consumer – free for the basic service, low cost for additional features – this is very reasonable as the free version still gives good service. I’m not as sure about your request for investment, or the potential return on that investment, but I am wondering if you are offering a not-for-profit venture?
      Overall, I really enjoyed your presentations and would be very interested in promoting your idea further.

      Brenda

      • andrea 9:15 pm on December 1, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Hi Brenda,

        I appreciate your kind comments – thank you. You mentioned the potential ROI and request for investment. I really didn’t address these, in part because I wasn’t sure what that looks like. My plan hadn’t been to develop a not-for-profit venture, as much as I’d like to be able to do that, because of the cost to develop quality apps. I appreciate the importance of this kind of information in successful pitches however, and have added this to my “do differently next time”list. 🙂

        Cheers, Andrea

    • Jim 8:05 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi again Andrea,

      I wanted to delve deeper into your Venture Pitch and provide some feedback in the form of a brief EVA analysis. As a potential investor, I am looking in your venture pitch for a variety of information:

      Entrepreneur confidence:
      I chose to review your Venture Pitch because I appreciated the professionalism of your elevator pitch and assumed it would extend into your venture pitch as well. I was not disappointed. Both pitches came is a very professional package. This is important and adds to my confidence that you will be successful. Also, the fact that you are not only a teacher of ESL students, and a second language learner yourself, gives me greater confidence that you have first-hand experience for all perspectives. You mention a partner who has development experience. I would also like to see someone with solid business and sales experience who knows the minute facets of marketing and selling a product such as yours.

      Good product that will be in demand:
      I think you product idea has promise for many reasons not the least of which is the fact that a smartphone is becoming the device that almost everyone owns around the world. Everyone has one so why not develop apps such as yours. I also think the features that you have imagined are very smart. For example, the apps would know that the user wants to book a bus trip and provides the context specific vocabulary needed to communicate during this task. Entering and storing user words and information makes this context possible. The more information entered, the more personal it is, and the more the app can contextualize the vocabulary and other support features for the user.

      How big is the potential client base:
      I think that if you are able to develop and market your product successfully for English language learners, there is no reason why your product could not be retooled for any language learners. This would include a very large number of end users. I think you provide some very good stats on the market size and potential. I think you limit your venture pitch by talking a lot about Canada English as a second language learners stats… your product could be used even more in other countries on smartphones of users who intend to visit, work or study in English speaking countries.

      Can the product compete successfully on the market:
      Here is my major worry with your idea. There are so many competing apps on the market. After an extremely quick search I found all of these apps: 24/7 Tutor Lite, Arabic pod 101 (pocket Arabic), Hiragana Lite, Touchcards, 7 Jours, CherokeeLite, Michel Thomas Method, ChineseBiz, ChinesePod, iPronunciation and , ranslation, German FlashCards Lite(Declan Software), MemWords- Memorize Words- In Spanish, Gengo Lite Flashcard, AccellaStudy Essentials by AccelaStudy, Kana Lite, Prometoys Limited-Word of the Day, LangLearner LLC, Kana Tap, iReview Flashcards, Babbel Mobile, Word Power Lite, Japanese Phrases FREE (TheJapanesePage.com), and Study Arcade. None of these that I could see allows the user to enter information or contextualize the language support. But the real question is how are you going to be able to communicate your app’s features through all of this “app static” in the market? I think you will be able to compete in the market if you can deliver on the apps features and successfully battle through all of the other language apps and show why yours is so much better!

      Are you honest about challenges:
      I was hoping to see a strengths and weaknesses self-reflection in your Venture Pitch but I did not see one. This was my primary tool for talking about whether the entrepreneur is being realistic about the venture.

      Investment risk?
      I would consider this a risky venture to invest in simply because I am not convinced that end users would get a very strong sense that this product is set far above all of the other products. I feel more convinced of that after reading the pitch but I am not quite sure how quickly you could get people buy in. I do like the free version idea but I would not limit it in any way except for time. I would allow it for 2 weeks. I think a free app for two weeks is a reasonable amount of time to “evaluate” the app. It would also simplify the process. Download. Use. Pay after two weeks. Or not. So I think you have a great product idea but I worry about how you would sell it.

      • andrea 9:25 pm on December 1, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Hello Jim,

        Huge thanks for your thorough review and feedback!

        “But the real question is how are you going to be able to communicate your app’s features through all of this “app static” in the market?” Agreed — this is a huge challenge! There are so many language apps out there, and the market is pretty crowded. Communicating the difference to buyers would be a challenge.

        To add to that, I agree that a team member with business and marketing acumen would be critical to this venture. Thanks for that point, because it really highlights the importance of presenting a team that inspires confidence with their ability to overcome any challenges.

        Your suggestion regarding a time-limited trial is also an excellent idea. It’s a far more effective tool to help people ‘experience the difference,’ so to speak.

        Thanks again!
        Andrea

    • verenanz 11:27 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Andrea!
      What a great product. I would use it in my ESL classes as a tool for “theme based learning”…I don’t know if I would be able to afford the $20.00 version…but I like the idea that you would have a range of options. Your venture pitch is extremely well written – extremely easy to understand – almost written like an advertisement. I really liked the idea. Sorry I couldn’t see the pitch – in China…
      Verena:)

      • andrea 9:27 pm on December 1, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Hello Verena,
        Thanks for your feedback. Hope you’re having a great time in China!
        Andrea

    • Allie 6:37 pm on December 1, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Andrea, I enjoying reviewing and analysing your Venture Pitch.

      The overall presentation format is fantastic, and I’m enjoying getting a better sense of the product. I think it has a world of potential – I can certainly see my English Assistant being in use. Something we haven’t really explored in this course are technologies that are developed and then purchased by larger companies (my boyfriend’s friend builds and sells startups a lot). My hunch is that the best prognosis for MyEnglishAssistant may be that the app ultimately gets purchased by Berlitz, Rosetta Stone or another larger language learning organization because the market in overall language learning is so saturated, as you indicate. In my research, I found that app development is between $60-100K (Forrester; can access this through UBC library. Go to subject research guides > business > management > new business development.) I would imagine that once the technology is assembled, it would be fairly easy to translate into new language versions.

      I have a few ideas and suggestions that may be helpful in taking this Pitch to the next level:

      -I’m wondering if you can perhaps include more on the demand on the part of language learners for language apps, and for personalized learning. What do language learners perceive as their needs?
      – I think it would be helpful to provide richer demographic information on language learners? Based on my own experiences in Vancouver there are language learners at all income levels, but it seems that a lot of the students at the language schools are pretty affluent. I think that myEnglishAssistant could be beneficial to all, but require separate marketing strategies (maybe for lower income users, target social service organizations that provide language instruction and support for newcomers?)
      – I’m wondering if you could provide a more detailed overview of the competition, given that it is quite vast and diverse? What are the top apps? Are there common consumer/review complaints? How does this app correspond to other language learning programs – does it complement them? From an education perspective, I’m wondering what theories or evidence-based models of 2nd language education you’re drawing on, or might further draw on in your app development?

      • andrea 9:38 pm on December 1, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Hello Allie,

        Thank you for your thoughtful review and great recommendations. Your suggestion to understand and explain the market – both customers and competition – more fully were well taken. That’s something I’ve appreciated in a number of the other pitches. Researching the competition would be an interesting but intense process, involving lots of sampling, as I imagine you did during your research. While I tried a few different apps, to run with this idea I would need to have an even more intimate knowledge of the competition.

        You also make an interesting point about small ventures being acquired by bigger fish. This isn’t something I’d considered for my pitch or others, but it’s probably quite a likely future for lots of tech start-ups. (I’d be curious to hear from David on this, and what this means for the future of the original product and team.)

        Thanks again for your constructive comments!
        Andrea

    • themusicwoman 8:21 pm on December 3, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Dear Andrea,
      Wow. Great voice 🙂 Your elevator pitch made me want to know more.
      I really like your venture pitch. Your idea is one that really makes sense. As an investor, that’s what I’m looking for. I can see a use for this application immediately. Your idea is also one that is feasible. Again, a plus for an investor. Like the CEO profile. Here is where I might perhaps be wary as an investor as both the product and yourself have yet to be “tested”. As for for your marketability: I love the idea of getting into the schools. That’s where you hooked me. I like the idea of targeting that very lucrative market. As a choir teacher of many international students, as much as I’d like them off their cell phones, perhaps they could use this app to learn that I want them to sing, not text on their phones 🙂
      The biggest impediment to your venture would be competition. However, as you’ve priced it right, I think it could do well. I would need more information on what is out there already and how your product would fare against those.
      Thanks for letting me get in my two cents worth 🙂
      Michelle

  • Tamara Wong 7:02 pm on November 27, 2011
    2 votes
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    My venture is a resource for adult ESL teachers or tutors. It makes use of learning analytics and intuitive design.   You can find my elevator pitch here: http://thetutorhelper.wordpress.com/2011/11/26/elevator-pitch/   And my venture pitch here: http://thetutorhelper.wordpress.com/

    Continue reading A3 Venture Pitch Posted in: Week 13: Venture Forum
     
    • jarvise 10:21 am on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      the tutor helper is a great idea. I like how you have laid out your venture pitch. The sections make it easy to understand the different components, and your sales strategy is simple, but makes sense. I know that the ESL market is big – I wonder how you will actively sell your product and make sure that it gets noticed. I also wonder how difficult it is to attract qualified teachers to work as tutors for you. You may hit a snag on that one. In my own research on tutoring, it seems that many of the online companies are looking – I wonder what the availability of teachers is like. Maybe target hiring to the East coast… There are a few ventures here looking to design one-stop-shopping for online ed – there is obviously something lacking in the current availability; based on what my research says, this is the most important determinant for success.

      Emily

    • Tamara Wong 6:30 pm on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Thanks for the feedback! I hadn’t thought too much about hiring the teachers before but it seems to me that there is an overabundance of ESL teachers lately, at least in Toronto. I’ve worked at both private schools and colleges and many of my colleagues get laid off during the slow times. I also had the idea of putting my name on craigslist for tutoring and found that there are MANY teachers on craigslist looking for students to tutor. In Toronto I wasn’t too worried about getting tutors but I suppose elsewhere it might be a different story. Something that I’d have to look into. I was wondering if merely posting a job online would be sufficient. I know for myself I always am a little leery about applying to an online school -some of them don’t look legit. I think actually speaking with the teachers/tutors face-to-face might be a better option. Once I’ve head hunted a few teachers the word may spread? That was my plan to hire teachers.
      Tamara

    • mcquaid 2:42 am on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi, Tamara.
      Your idea looks pretty good, and I appreciate the mock-ups of what it may look like – visuals for something new are a great help. The EAL market is pretty huge and should continue to grow – your useful-looking program may work nicely.
      Your pitch had a few things I struggled with, though:
      – much longer than the maximum time given – I wondered how strict I “should” be… if I should stop watching at 1:00
      – errors in the words (one misspelling / typo and one or two words I thought should have been capitalized)
      – audio was a bit hollow – could have a bit more energy

    • Angela Novoa 9:55 am on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Tamara,

      You provide an innovative concept and it has a huge market. As Emily has mentioned, I wonder how will you attract qualified tutors to work as tutors for you. I also would like to know more information about money required and returns (how much and how long will an investor receive returns). this information would make easier to an EVA to assess if investing or not in the venture.

      Cheers,

      Angela

    • David William Price 10:54 am on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Elevator pitch assessment

      Wongte – tutorhelper

      First Impression: no face, voiceover slides, slides too fast to read and quite busy in places, voice lacks passion, many slides emphasize boredom

      CEO Credibility: The CEO does not appear as an image or video although there is a voiceover all the way through. I have the voiceover to judge CEO credibility. The voice has no passion. I might take a negative inference based on the fact the CEO is unwilling to appear.

      Management Team: No team is mentioned, so I have no way to judge. I might take a negative inference based on the fact the CEO is unwilling to talk about the team.

      Venture Concept: Mentions “teachers” but not what type. Apparently something about a web resource for activities for teachers teaching English but also mentions tutors. Mentions learning analytics but doesn’t explain how they are used. Mentions learning management system but appears more like a database of resources.

      Opportunity Space: Apparently aimed at English teachers or tutors? Does not describe the market, proposed market share or revenue.

      Market Readiness: No description of how this will be marketed or distributed, how to enter the market or how to grow presence.

      Competitive Edge: Does not explain how this is better than existing web-based resources or how it will compete with LMSs. Not sure if this is a real LMS or not.

      Exit Strategy: No indication of their target market, its size, or how they will capture it. No indication of what investment is wanted or how it will be repaid.

      Overall Investment Status: I don’t see the CEO or the team, I don’t know who the targeted market is. I don’t know how my investment will be repaid. I don’t know how this will be marketed. I consider this high risk and would not pursue.

    • Jay 9:49 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Tamara,

      Your pitch resonated with me as I was an EFL teacher for four years in Canada and Japan. It is very time consuming trolling through websites to find resources and I think you target a pain point for teachers and students. I also like that you advocate for a learner-centered allowing learners to choose what they feel is relevant for them.

      Your screen shots are a nice addition to your picth and are helpful in visualizing what the Tutor Helper would look like.

      The market is big but there would also be a lot of competition with regards to tutoring and other sites that provide resources for fees although you set yourself apart from others by personalizing lessons and allowing for quick selection of specific lessons through analytics.

      Interesting pitch.

      Jay

    • andrea 7:12 pm on December 1, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hello Tamara,
      You’re so right when you say there are lots of resources out there but none that consistently deliver. I was also an ESL teacher for a few years, and would spend hours trying to find the perfect news articles to use, or a game that practiced something specific. I would have loved a tool like this!
      One question I have is about how students use the LMS. You mentioned that the students will interact with it, but is this still within the context of one-on-one tutoring or something included in their hourly fee? I really like your idea and would like to know more about how students would interact with the system.
      Andrea

    • Deb Kim 11:10 pm on December 1, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Tamara,

      What a great idea!
      Your venture is very similar to mine, though mine is for Math.
      My venture idea also came from my experience. I had difficult time finding RIGHT resources and questions for my lessons and for students. Although there are resources available at school, many of them are outdated and there are not enough resources to support teaching. I didn’t even have a textbook last year when I worked at a different school from this year!
      Your venture will support teachers and create a better work condition for teachers who are struggling to find English resources.
      Great work!

      Deb

    • khenry 6:59 am on December 3, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Tamara,

      Your idea is a good one. I can imagine that other ESL teachers would welcome it. Is this your primary market? How expansive do you think it would be?

      I imagine you could also target English teachers as well and promote authentic learning opportunities.

      See below for my extended EVA.

      Elevator Pitch: Your voice was pleasant and I liked the use of the graphics. Some of the text was hard to see. But the availability of voice and the timing of the voice and text addressed this. Interestingly, I do not have a problem not seeing the faces of CEOs. However, your pitch did not give an idea of your management team, even though you provided a further link, I think a mention of this is essential in your elevator pitch. I read somewhere that you should try to put your essential elements first because persons get switched off. At about 52 seconds in I felt myself switching off. By then you had gotten through many of your essentials but perhaps you could revisit to end with a bang within your 1 minute. I sat through the rest but I imagine that as an investor I would have probably been done at 1 minute, given that they get so many pitches.
      Team: CEO and Management Team are mentioned on the site. Pictures would add to presenting faces to names. Strenghts for content and learning technology development are displayed. However, the financial and business aspects need strengthening. If Robert Wong is busy, would he be too busy to feed into the business? This is a potential red flag for investors. Also, there are no mentions of track record or ability or credibility of financial and business administration strength and capability.
      Venture: Problem and product/service solution are clearly delineated and involves the use of a website hosting learning resources for ESL and tutors with offers for subscription, licenses, opportunities for private online tutoring and the use of learning analytics to identify and recommend resources. I like the focus on learning theories, particularly authentic learning. But I have questions on if one can access these services already (see further under competitive advantage).
      Market: Target market, pricing and revenue are discussed. $80 per year for tutors and $10 per student are reasonable prices and worth taking away the stress of searching for a wide variety of new and fresh resources that are varied according to such diverse user needs. Expanding information on this process/activity would give investors valuable information on the ventures approach and viability. However, how confident are you of attracting your target market? Would users be willing to pay for such services? (see further under exit strategy)
      Market Readiness: LMS mention. Which will you use? How will it work? Also which learning analytic tools and how will they work?
      Competitive Advantage: This needs to be zeroed on some more. I read it as using learning analytics to find resources to personalize learning. But can’t a tutor do this for themselves? What are you offering that is different?
      Exit Strategy: Needs further information on the size of your target market and how you will access it.

      Kerry-Ann

    • murray12 8:57 am on December 3, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hello Tamara,

      I like the way your elevator pitch used the same image/symbol when discussing investors, etc., which helped to spell out how I could be involved. I also liked the your site with page tabs that can direct you to exactly the areas you want to learn about. What I felt was missing was a personal touch, ie photos or videos, of the people behind the product. In addition, as someone commented on my web based ET product, it’s hard to convince people to embrace your product for a fee when they can also get similar for free. Many people are willing to run around if they get to save a buck.

  • Jay 6:39 pm on November 27, 2011
    3 votes
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    Tags: CityConneX, CityStudio, , network, sustainability, Vancouver   

    Hello everyone. Here is my venture pitch for network, called CityConneX, to support a Vancouver-based sustainability project. Here is the elevator pitch for CityConneX Network.     [kaltura-widget uiconfid=”534″ entryid=”0_bw048z18″ width=”308″ height=”292″ addpermission=”” editpermission=”” /]       The venture pitch can be viewed at CityConneX Network.

    Continue reading CityConneX Network Posted in: Week 13: Venture Forum
     
    • mcquaid 6:48 pm on November 27, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      To those coming here after me, I had to download the file attached to the first link to see the elevator pitch.

    • Deb Giesbrecht 4:47 pm on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hey Jay,

      Loved your elevator pitch – looks very professional- especially for someone who says he is not so tech-savvy! The green economy is certainly an expanding market and one that holds a lot of potential and sustainability. Great idea about collaboration and network sharing. It appears to be a well thought out venture with great market potential – not sure from your pitch if it is a for-profit organization or more of a social platform – either way I would still invest in it!

      • Jay 8:27 pm on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Thanks Deb. I should have made it clearer in theelevator pitch and venture proposal. pitch is a social platform bringing social and organizational value to groups/institutions that invest and would not benefit financially. So I tried to allude to it being a social venture but should have been clearer about this. Thanks for the comments.

    • bcourey 5:28 pm on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Jay,

      I was intrigued to see a venture about a municipality instead of a school board! Nice change. You are proposing an interesting concept – the merging of minds from quite a wide range of stakeholders – from students to city planners all with the same purpose in mind – meeting the city’s goals of sustainability. Too often the students are omitted. Networking is always a great strategy. As a manager of a city department, that is often very entrenched in their “silos” of bureaucracy, I wonder if you would get buy in from all stakeholders to participate in this venture. It would be wonderful if they would! I also worry about the politicization of city management…you could be just one election away from closure…but maybe Vancouver is much better at long-term visioning!

      Brenda

      • Jay 8:34 pm on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        It may very well be the case that the not all stakeholders choose to participate. The City may choose to not invest directly, but would be invested indirectly through CityStudio, which is a project that while receives funding from the local government, is not run by them. I believe if post-secondary institutions also invested and contributed partner courses to the program this help maintain a balance and minimize risk of politicization by city staff. The election issue is a weakness, however if stakeholders and the venture took advantage of the re-election and used the next three years to build and obtain non-government investment (universities, businesses, community) the project could become large enough and invested in by too many different groups too be simply dismantled by a new politcal party. But you do point out a weakness of this venture and the narrow, unstable market it attempts to enter. Thanks for the comments.

    • Keisha Edwards-Hamilton 8:04 pm on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Jay,

      I love the green concept presented in the elevator pitch. Problems and solutions were easily identified and it looks very professional. However, I think your pitch was too long considering that it should be a presentation lasting for no more than one minute maximum. I think the transitions could be speed up as you were talking very slowly throughout the presentation. Otherwise, it’s a great concept that I would pursue.

      Keisha

      • Jay 8:43 pm on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Hi Keisha,

        Thanks for the comments. The elevator pitch was one of the weaknesses of my assignment and I wasn’t overly satisfied with how it turned out. You are right that its too long and your suggestion to speed up transitions and speak faster would help decrease the length. I was worried about speaking too fast and people not being able to understand what it was about. Thanks for your critique.

    • hall 2:13 am on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Jay,

      I think cityConnex is a good idea. The concept of connecting all components would definitely maximize efficiently and as a result provide more revenue for Canada. I like the sequence and graphic of your pitch, they were good. However, I think you could condense the materials and reduce the time of display for each slide (12 seconds to 5 seconds or 6 seconds). Some of slides were not synchronize with your slides. Overall it is a good venture, well done.

      • Jay 3:58 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        I had a little difficulty with getting everything synchronized and video and media is not my strong point unfortanetly. Thanks for comments and I will take them into consideration for future work.

    • jenaca 3:17 am on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Jay,
      I really enjoyed your pitch and loved the green concept you presented. I think you effectively portrayed the problems and solutions as well as statistics that caught my eye. I like how your product targets a global economy and not just one specific group. My only suggestion would be to shorten your pitch, however, I completely understand how difficult this is when trying to include necessary information!!
      Great Job,
      Jenaca

      • Jay 3:57 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Thanks for the comments. The pitch was too long I agree. The market is actually very narrow as the venture is for a network connecting an existing project here in Vancouver called CityStudio (see http://citystudiovancouver.blogspot.com/ if interested). I added the global market in the beginning to show the existing market for green economy but I am attempting to enter a local market through providing a service I think would benefit this project.

        Thanks for the comments.
        Jay

    • carmen 1:37 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Jay,

      Great job on the pitch – the graphics are very effective. I’m convinced by your pitch that having a centralized “studio” in the virtual space in addition to the existing physical space can really help collaboration between all partners. I wonder what would be the affordances of this of CMS), and what might be the cost of building and maintaining one.

      carmen

      • Jay 2:11 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Hi Carmen,

        You raise good questions about my venture and one of its weaknesses. I specifically avoided financials because they were not a requirement and I have little background in areas such as investment return, cost-benefit analysis, or other financial considerations however admit this would have strengthened the venture considerably and would likely be required should this idea be taken seriously.

        I know little about the costs of implementing or starting up networks. I suppose I could have done more research into this. I suggested that these could be minimized by having CityStudio recruit IT or communications students to help with design and logistics. But I am unsure of costs but would be curious to find out and will look into it further once I have a little more time. Thanks for the comments.

    • Jay 4:05 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      A note on my venture:

      I think I have confused my audience with my elevator pitch. CityConneX (my proposed venture) is not attempting to enter a global market, although this would be possible but would be dependent on many factors so unlikely. Rather it is a centralized network for an existing inter-institutional Vancouver-based project called CityStudio (see http://citystudiovancouver.blogspot.com/ if interested). I was unsure how to get this across in the limited time and instead I think I focused on the features of the system rather than focusing on what it is and the market it targets. I appreciate all your comments as they have made me aware of this error.

      Thanks

      Jay

      I hope this might clear things up for any future reviewers.

    • schiong 8:37 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Jay,

      I like the project.
      Yes, the funding could come from the government (directly or indirectly).
      Since different Universities are involved, is it possible to get funding from them ?

      Actually, there are several CMS open source software. Are you planning to use any of those ?

    • Jay 10:13 am on December 1, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Steve,

      Thanks for the comments and questions. With regards to universities, participating institutions would be approached for funding and the amount would be dependent on whether the institution is participating through partner courses, network courses (or both).

      With regards to CMS this is where my tech weaknesses are revealed. I thought about this after completion and realized that I should have provided discussion around this. The original thought was to that software be created so it could be tailored to fit the needs of the project and all stakeholders involved. However reflecting upon this, this might be an expensive route to go and it may be better to research and use existing software that would be flexible enough to incorporate needs and wants of this very hetergenous group. This would be much less expensive, I would think, as it there would be no costs associated with development. Thus minimizing investment required at start-up. Thanks for the thought provoking question. Something I also was struggling with.

      Jay

    • khenry 9:05 am on December 3, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Jay,

      Thank you for this addition to the fold. It is a well needed venture not just for this instance but in other instances connecting business, schools, projects and lessons learnt. Check out this site http://www.idea.org/blog/ presenting a network for connecting persons on projects where they share ideas and develop together.

      See below for my extended EVA.

      Elevator Pitch: I figured out that you were doing a not for profit venture and welcomed the opportunity for an alternative analysis. I agree that more clarity is needed as to the nature of the venture (profit vs. not for profit) and where/how investors would be positioned.
      Interestingly, I do not mind not see CEO et al in elevator pitches but funnily enough because your venture is about people I felt like seeing people incorporated or perhaps some visuals of who or what you are connecting. I liked your tone, very neutral and engaging. Very good timing with your voice and visuals but yes as you already said it is a bit too long.

      In both your elevator pitch and your venture pitch I think you should start with the problem earlier and from there you flow into your solution and then background.

      Venture Pitch

      Team: More discussion of the team and their competence to lead the project would add weight to your pitch.

      Venture: The problem and solution are clearly stated but as I said above think the problem could be stated at the start more succinctly and then move from there. The venture is an attractive one in connecting stakeholders, a collaboration space and ideas and lessons sharing within a specific project setting.

      Market: The target market is clearly defined, stakeholders within the Vancouver City studio project on multiple levels: schools, business and community organizations.

      Market Readiness: A step by step process of the project implementation is given. The use of online content management systems and networks within a blogging sphere is ideally chosen for the nature of the venture.

      Competitive Advantage: Information regarding benefits is presented. However, competitive advantage is not clearly articulated or capitalized on. Benefits to investors are mentioned but even though you are proposing a not for profit venture I believe that you could organise information for investors who would like to partner could see exactly how they could contribute and/or benefit. For example identification of needs and communicating and operating set up costs et al., where persons might contribute monetarily et al. and benefits such as corporate responsibility in community development etc., cutting green costs, and publicity (there was some mention of the latter two).

      Exit Strategy: Information on strategies to attract investors and users is needed.

      Good job overall. I hope it goes well!

      Kerry-Ann

    • themusicwoman 9:54 pm on December 3, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Dear Jay,
      Won’t go over again what people have already said but will say I found your project to be very professionally laid out and organized. Kinda interesting to be late on this review as I find the comments and your post to pull the picture together for me very nicely. Again, always nice to have all the info after, right? lol.
      Thanks for the post.
      Michelle

  • murray12 3:51 pm on November 27, 2011
    2 votes
    |
     

    Hello ETEC522,   Below you will find my venture links for the Socrative smart student response system:   Elevator Pitch   Venture Pitch Enjoy!

    Continue reading A3 Venture Pitch Posted in: Week 13: Venture Forum
     
    • Jim 6:25 pm on November 28, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Andrew,

      Your elevator pitch and venture pitch were quite interesting to watch. I assume you have decided to take on the role of being at the helm of this venture (correct me if I am wrong). As such, I would be a venture capitalist looking at your company as an asset in which to invest. In your elevator pitch, you note that 40,000 people have signed up for a free subscription. What I wanted to know from the elevator pitch was how you intend to monetize the product.

      Of course, you answer these questions and more in your Venture Pitch. The only thing I worry about is that people almost expect free apps now… unless the product has some added value that REALLY cannot be found anywhere else, it will be difficult to monetize it. You do mention that data enhanced version which would add this value.

      I am considering your venture pitch as one of the three I will review in more detail but have not decided yet…

      • murray12 9:18 am on December 1, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Thanks for your feedback Jim,

        I’ll admit that I felt a little uncomfortable acting as if I was a part of the Socrative team, who knows what they would think if the found out. So instead I tried to come off as a Socrative supporter. I also understand that I do lack a financial incentive for investors in my elevator pitch, but I guess I felt the time squeeze and focused more on problem and solution.

        As for free apps, I also agree. I myself always look around for a quality free version before I give money away. As for the enhanced version, I searched all over the web and couldn’t find anymore information than what I included in the venture pitch. It would have been nice to include some tangible YOU + STRATEGY + MONEY = MORE MONEY, but alas….

    • Juliana 8:42 pm on November 28, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Andrew,

      Your presence in the venture pitch was very calm and your voice was very clear. I also liked how you compared this venture to similar ventures such as iClickers and poll everywhere. It was clear from your pitches that you have done a lot of research on the product. You also did a good job at looking at the people heading up Socrative and selling them.

      I was confused about one thing. I was not sure who you were aiming this proposal to. Are you aiming it to administrators? Are you acting as the venture’s CEO? Also, as this was a venture that relied on mobile devices, what would you do for a student who didn’t have one? Can schools can realistically maintain and provide mobile devices to those students who didn’t have any and do all schools have their own wireless networks? (This last question is for my own interest…most of my work experience has been in a University environment and I was curious about the public school system)

      Juliana.

    • Deb Giesbrecht 3:30 pm on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      • Pain Point: digital native students not getting their learning needs met
      • Solution: smart student response – interactive learning
      • Differentiation: defines itself from clickers. Used on any web based device.
      • Marketing; Identifies demand. Comprehensive marketing strategy – 40 000 people within 24 countries. No marketing efforts identified at present. Clearly identifies future markets.
      • Championship; great championship and team membership
      • Competition: clickers
      • The Ask: Don’t remember there being any official ‘Ask’ from the investor
      • The Return: investigating revenue options
      The Message
      • CEO Credibility: appears credible•
      • Management Team: very educated and knowledgeable team members
      • Venture Concept: market demand present. Clear and concise business plan with knowledgeable researched background
      • Opportunity Space: turnkey product
      • Market Readiness: very plausible and feasible. Identifies that students are ready for this type of interactive learning.
      • Competitive Edge: looks at global market strategy
      • Exit Strategy: None identified
      • Overall Investment Status: turnkey product with lots of future potential. Loved your elevator pitch that was really accentuated with the graphics that you chose – which program did you use to develop this video?
      • Overall very believable, researched and well-presented venture. Great job!

      • murray12 8:12 am on December 3, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Hello Deb,
        Thanks for your feedback. I just used iMovie to make the video.

    • bcourey 5:34 pm on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      HI Andrew…You have an interesting venture – an alternative to the much pricier Clicker response systems we see in many schools and if a school does not already use this technology, your solution many work for them. You also acknowledge the benefits of immediate feedback and the need for a quicker way for teachers to do assessments. I agree with others though, that I am not sure who your target audience might be- and customers who start with something free are not always going to start paying later – not sure if there is data out there that proves I am off base on that or not. I was a bit confused about the Edu Tech take offs part of your presentation – did that mean that you have more competition, or that you hope to be bought out some day by larger players? I also found the cost to be quite high…but then again, I may be forgetting how convenient this service would be. For now, our schools have several sets of the clickers, so we would have a hard time selling this product.

      Brenda

    • Keisha Edwards-Hamilton 7:21 pm on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Andrew,

      Very good elevator pitch. Your target market was evident at the onset – educators, parent, students or administrators. The concept presented is very interesting since I am an educator that face some of the problems you mentioned and would love to solve these sooner than later using activites that engage learners. As a result, I would want to learn more about the product. Also, it seems like it is a good product since over 40000 users have signed up for it since it entered the market in February of this year.

      Keisha

    • schiong 10:40 pm on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Andrew,

      I like the product.
      Since it is web based, I would assume that it is accessible via mobile devices , laptops , or desktop computers.

      There are few things that are not clear to me …
      a) does the teacher create the questions? if yes, how?
      b) is it applicable to other courses such as math, chemistry, physics, etc ?
      c) how is it different from existing LMS? Some, if not all, of the open source LMS are SCORM compliant
      which can do something similar to what you are proposing. I am just not sure if the analytic part has been integrated.

      Steve

    • jenaca 3:22 am on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Andrew,
      I really like the product! I think your elevator pitch was intriguing and included a lot of good information. You clearly stated your product, the market, problems and solution. I think the questions at the beginning helped prepare me for what the pitch was about.
      I am very interested in this product and am looking forward to reading your venture more in depth!!
      Jenaca

    • carmen 10:58 am on December 2, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Andrew,

      I really enjoy your pitches as your ideas are clear, and you appear confident and calm. Also, your presentation is well paced with helpful visuals. You explained the advantages of using Socrative over Clicker and Poll Everywhere, which really convinced me that there is huge potential in this product. I have a few questions about the revenue options after watching your venture pitch:
      1. I wonder what the data enhanced version offer and how it will be different from what it is now.
      2. So far, Socrative is an online application that doesn’t require any installation. However, one of the revenue options mentioned in the venture was to preinstall Socrative in tablets… I wonder what the company has in store for it’s next step!

      Overall, I really enjoyed your pitch! I will definitely explore this tool some more. 🙂

      carmen

    • themusicwoman 9:41 pm on December 3, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Dear Andrew,
      Giving you condensed version eva as time is running out and many great things have been mentioned already 🙂
      Elevator pitch: found it extremely engaging immediately and enjoyed the to the point of it.
      Venture Pitch: Introduction well done to capture audience: especially enjoyed the university students “listening” to lecture and the comment about high schoolers and phones. I appreciated your clear speaking style.
      Problem/Solution: pointed out very clearly. I like the appeal of this app. I like that is it is geared towards mobile devices as you mention later that schools are definietly on that stream of thought.
      Marketing: free is great . . . but would like more info on the revenue options but understand that it is in the makings.
      Competition: good use of these to actually showcase socrative, I thought. Although the other companies offer similar products, I think yours may have an edge, especially when thinking about marketing to school groups and cost.
      Good work on the CEO and team management and numbers for the product.
      Only part I was confused about was I thought you were acting as CEO at first but then realized you weren’t but it was all good.
      Enjoyed your presentation. Thanks.
      Michelle

  • Everton Walker 2:48 pm on November 27, 2011
    0 votes
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    Hi All, My A3 production can be found here https://blogs.ubc.ca/ebookventurepitch/ .I hope you will enjoy it.   Everton

    Continue reading A3 Venture Pitch Posted in: Week 13: Venture Forum
     
    • David William Price 9:41 pm on November 28, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Your venture is a multi-level marketing scheme?

    • jarvise 10:20 am on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      I have to be honest. After watching te elevator pitch, I was left thinking that your proposal was for some kind of pyramid scheme. I did, however, take a look at your written venture, so you obviously caught my attention – even if it was for the wrong reasons. Your proposal makes sense and there is clearly a need for an intervention such as this one. I question, however, how you can envision the type of growth and far-reading global markets you describe. I’m not sure how you could go from an idea to having people heading up operations in different areas of the world. It seems like a pretty risky proposition. I would be more comfortable with a growth plan that starts with a much smaller niche market that you are very familiar with, and expanding from there. There are some great ideas here that may work better as a non-profit.

      Emily

    • hall 1:52 am on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Everton,

      Your elevator pitch on ‘ebook’ is a good one. The presentation of ideas and audio were clear. The graphics and font size were good.. In light of the major drive worldwide of ‘go green’, this product would definitely protect our environment and promote the go green concept. Ebook would definitely bring flexibility to the educational markets. I think the idea of creating a network of ebook is good way for persons to advertise the product and earn as they do so. But it could be risky business.

      Conroy

    • mcquaid 3:02 am on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi, Everton.
      First, my criticisms:
      – having the video on the blog, as the blog needs work – nothing custom, including leaving the first generic post on
      – the voice – the intonations / choice of delivery had me backing off
      – greatly exceeded the maximum video length
      – end credits playing while voiceover is still going
      – is this some kind of pyramid scheme… seems sketchy now

      The good news / potential?
      Don’t market it as a reading solution, because it isn’t. You have a money-making plan based on social structures. Use analytics or some kind of tracking and rewards scheme, and be up front about it. There’s potential there, but it needs some tweaking and a different approach.

      Cheers,

      Stephen

    • Angela Novoa 10:35 am on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Everton,

      I think your venture has a market that is increasingly growing over time. You have provided a detailed venture pitch with information about the market and the product. However, I would suggest you to provide more information about the ask, the reader and marketing (how buyers/users will be reached), in order to be easier to an EVA to make a decision.

      Cheers,

      Angela.

    • David William Price 10:53 am on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Elevator pitch assessment

      everton walker – ebook venture pitch

      First Impression: voiceover slides, sounds like a woman’s voice but Everton is a man, seems to be a multi-level marketing scheme

      CEO Credibility: The CEO does not appear as an image or video although there is a voiceover by woman all the way through. The voice shows some excitement but as the pitch is a multi-level marketing scheme, that excitement feels like a get-rich-quick pitch, not an investment pitch. I might take a negative inference based on the fact the CEO is unwilling to appear or voice this himself.

      Management Team: No team is mentioned, so I have no way to judge. I might take a negative inference based on the fact the CEO is unwilling to talk about the team

      Venture Concept: Doesn’t explain how it improves learning or reading. Images appear unrelated to voiceover. Appears to be a multi-level marketing scheme to sell e-books. It’s not clear whether it’s the readers being sold or the text in the readers. This is not so much a learning tech venture as a get-rich-quick scheme.

      Opportunity Space: Claims a market worth billions expanding quickly worldwide. Doesn’t describe a target market, projected market share or revenue.

      Market Readiness: Describes a multi-level marketing approach to distribution and sales.

      Competitive Edge: No competitive edge described unless the MLM distribution is considered a competitive edge.

      Exit Strategy: Hints at an MLM exit strategy, which is basically recruiting as many people below you as possible to get an unearned stream of income.

      Overall Investment Status: I don’t see the CEO or the team, I don’t know who the targeted market is. Appears to be a multi-level marketing scheme for a commodity (e-readers). I consider this extremely high risk and would not pursue.

    • andrea 6:52 pm on December 1, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hello Everton,
      If I understand your elevator pitch correctly, this is sort of Amway for e-books. Will your team be creating the e-books (writing them, or working with publishers to create them) and the e-book readers? In your venture pitch, it sounds like you will also have a service (provided by ‘partners’ or your core team?) that will offer training on how to use the affordance of e-readers to support students’ particular needs. I think providing support for educators around the world to use technology is a really worthy venture.
      Andrea

    • Deb Kim 11:03 pm on December 1, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Everton,

      To be honest, I have to agree with what other coursemates said. I don’t think your intention is to make this a pyramid scheme, but your venture is a bit sketchy to me too.

      Deb

    • murray12 8:39 am on December 3, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hello Everton,

      My feedback matches the impressions posted above. I’ll admit that I had to watch your elevator pitch a few times to truly absorb your intentions since I was initially focusing on how your images and audio seemed out of sync. Overall, the intention of your product, a network to help combat world illiteracy, is admirable, but as an investor I would need more ask and marketing information before I got to involved.

    • khenry 1:31 pm on December 4, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Everton,
      I really appreciate that you presented another aspect to the assignment in your CEO of a company capacity. This provided a different element to our experience and analysis.
      You offered some valuable attributes of the e-book that I think would be big selling factors. Is your suggestion of creating a network, what you would add to your being the CEO of an e-book company?

      Here is where I think your idea trumps – If you focus on a target market of struggling readers with your features as ‘built-in dictionaries, text-to-speech feature, bookmarking, reminder of where the reader stops the last time among others’, then from there identifying your competitive advantage that would make your e-book different from its competitors.
      Schools can order books. Networks being created by discounts for everyone who you sign up or a commission for every x e-books sold or discount for every x e-books bought. I believe your image in the elevator pitch shows a pyramid, which may be suggestive of a pyramid scheme, where many investors shy away from.

      In your elevator pitch you also mention the advantage of collapsing many textbooks into an easy to use and easy carrier. Another angle you may pursue is to engage with partners who offer e-text packages tailor-made for your market that come with your e-book.
      I believe that the e-book can indeed offer so much to the education system!

      Kerry-Ann

  • Jim 2:25 pm on November 27, 2011
    5 votes
    |
     

    In my venture proposal I present a new product called BreakOut Illustrator produced by my company, BreakOut Assistive Inc. I don’t really have a company (yet) but this is the product I would want to start with when I do. 😉 Here is my elevator pitch: My venture pitch is here: BreakOut Illustrator – Venture […]

    Continue reading BreakOut Illustrator – A3 Posted in: Week 13: Venture Forum
     
    • ashleyross 4:19 pm on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Jim, I love your concept! I’ve chosen your venture as one of my 3 for a more detailed review. Anything that has to do with assisting the atypical learner in some way always captures my interest. 🙂 But for now, I wanted to say I think it’s great that you’ve provided an example of Breakout Illustrator in your elevator pitch. Looking forward to reading your venture pitch. 🙂

    • Angela Novoa 5:32 pm on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Jim,

      I really loved your venture. The Breakout Illustrator is an innovative concept that addressees the needs of a number of educators and students. Your focus on a particular need allow costumers to elucidate the reason someone will buy or use this product.

      Your Venture Pitch provides detailed information about the pain point, marketing, championship, competition, and the amount of money required for running the project. Although the Venture Pitch provided detailed information about how to obtain revenues, I would suggest to offer more clear information about how soon would an investor be recompensed.

      I would invest in the Breakout Illustrator as it offers an innovative solution for students with special needs or language learning students and their teachers.

      Angela.

      • Jim 4:38 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Thanks for your investment offer. I will email you my bank information… 🙂
        Thanks for your suggestions about how I could improve me venture pitch!

    • Doug Smith 7:22 pm on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Jim,

      Nice pitch, it was very clear as to what your venture is and who would use and benefit from it. I personally prefer the voice pitch over music, and I think this can help an investor help connecting with the venture. I would have liked to hear more about the market that you are creating or entering, even if it is a rough estimate in terms of size or scale.

      cheers
      Doug

      • Jim 4:41 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Thanks for the feedback, Doug. I tried to get into the market a little more in the venture pitch but I think it should be mentioned in the elevator pitch.

    • Julie S 10:30 am on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Nice work Jim,

      The elevator was very clear and I liked the voice narration over the images because it allowed me to see the concept of what you are trying to do with the product. I was also really impressed with the quality of the document for the venture pitch in terms of content and aesthetic appeal. It inspires confidence in the quality of your future product.

      • Jim 4:43 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Thanks, Julie; your reaction is exactly the reaction I was looking for… But, I think I should have included some more business details. Anyway, thanks for your feedback!!

    • David William Price 10:52 am on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Elevator pitch assessment

      Jim – BreakOut Illustrator

      First Impression: no face, voiceover with screen recording

      CEO Credibility: The CEO does not appear as an image or video although there is a voiceover all the way through. I have the voiceover to judge CEO credibility. The voice has no passion and uses the passive mood of expression. I might take a negative inference based on the fact the CEO is unwilling to appear.

      Management Team: No team is mentioned, so I have no way to judge. I might take a negative inference based on the fact the CEO is unwilling to talk about the team

      Venture Concept: Apparently works with web pages, inserting images into text-heavy web pages from an image database with text-analysis algorithms to help students needing images.

      Opportunity Space: Apparently aimed at students with special needs in education but there’s no description of the intended market (who will buy), or what the market size is, or the revenue this venture can capture.

      Market Readiness: No description of how this will be marketed or distributed, how to enter the market or how to grow presence.

      Competitive Edge: The idea is apparently to have images automatically added to text-heavy web pages. The question is, why wouldn’t learners simply navigate to web pages with more images, or use Google image search? No indication of how many web pages are text-heavy but the web is designed to be very image friendly. The concept is interesting, however

      Exit Strategy: No indication of their target market, its size, or how they will capture it. No indication of what investment is wanted or how it will be repaid.

      Overall Investment Status: I don’t see the CEO or the team, I don’t know who the targeted market is. I don’t know how my investment will be repaid. I don’t know how this will be marketed. I consider this high risk but I’m curious enough to read the venture pitch.

      • Jim 5:04 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Thanks, David for taking a look at my elevator pitch. I appreciate the detail with which you examined it. I was not surprised, when you applied the suggested EVA tool for the venture pitch on my elevator pitch, that you found it lacking. My strategy in the elevator pitch is to highlight the how it worked, the target users, and that there is no competition because it is brand new tool.

    • David William Price 4:14 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Jim Breakout Illustrator – Venture pitch assessment

      CEO Credibility: Founder describes self as a 20-year educator.

      Management Team: Mentions a business executive partner with 20 years experience and Joshi, a researcher but does not indicate whether Joshi will be recruited.

      Venture Concept: Adding images to text-heavy webpages automatically for special needs students. No indication of most costly problems for helping special needs students or why this solution addresses a compelling problem.

      Opportunity Space: Does not mention number of special needs students, current costs of handling their needs. Mentions legislated requirements for assisting special needs students “in most western nations” but does not explain requirements, existing compliance efforts, timelines for compliance, budgets for compliance, or costs of alternatives. Suggests district-level licensing for K-12 school boards. Does not suggest pricing, describe initial target markets, or revenues.

      Market Readiness: “This mode of assistance is extremely challenging to automate effectively”, “yet to transition to commercial applications”, “minimally assist students at best (confuse them at worst)”,”task…is formidable” – raises huge concerns about development time and costs. Potential partnerships with other learning assistive technology mentioned but not describe synergistic fits or strategies for growing sales. Given stated challenges, estimated time to market of 2 years seems unrealistic.

      Competitive Edge: “Basic algorithms have already been published” – research appears to already be discussed in public domain. How affect patentability to protect investment?

      Exit Strategy: Requests $1.2 million but does not project sales, projected pricing or revenues to recoup investment or deliver any return on investment. Market of “special needs” K-12 students appears way too small.

      Overall Investment Status: Product development is high risk, market not quantified, revenues not projected, return not described. Without some kind of legal requirement for this solution that prioritizes it and associated public money to pay for it, consider this high risk and would not pursue it.

      PS: A vision and mission are ideally derived from a strategic analysis of your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. They act as rules for evaluating opportunities. When you apply an opportunity to your vision/mission, you should get a YES or NO out of it.

      • Jim 8:11 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Thanks again for your very detailed evaluation of my pitch!! This is valuable feedback that I can use to improve my pitch in the next revision.

    • Jay 7:42 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Jim,

      I think you have a great idea and although I would imagine it would require a lot of research to develop such a technically complex idea and you have addressed as a challenge in your venture pitch. You clearly define what this product will do provide evidence of research in academia which adds backing to your pitch-proof that others are giving attention to the concept in recognized settings and fields.

      The market is defined and you illustrate how such a tool would benefit the end-users-special needs students (those struggling to make meanings from text) and language learners.
      I would have one questions with regards to market. You write the market is truly global. Does this also mean across languages or only in an English language context? I am not a technical expert so would ask if an algorithm could be applied universally to all languages or would it have to be re-developed for other languages?

      The market would then be for English language learners or students in English schools with potential for expansion into other languages in the future (if it is necessary to redevelop in order to apply in different language contexts).

      Through your well-developed list of strengths and weakness you show you are aware of the risks but also the possibilities of this idea and supported by these strengths.

      Overall I like your pitch and think the idea, upon development, has potential and I would pursue it.

      • Jim 8:19 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Thank you, Jay, I appreciate your comments and analysis very much! I think you make a very good point about the algorithm being applicable to other languages… I am not an expert either. Even if one can be developed for English, you might very well be correct that the algorithm cannot just be applied to another language…. Maybe to another language that has very similar structures as English (say a Germanic language?). Nevertheless, if an algorithm could be developed that worked well in English, I think that that success would provide the motivation for development in other languages and I would think that there would have to be a fairly broad overlap of parallel development that could result lower costs when development focused on other languages. Thanks again for your feedback!

    • andrea 9:13 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hello Jim,

      As we’ve all discovered it’s challenging to describe a product, how it works and who it supports in just one minute, but you did that very comfortably in your elevator pitch without overwhelming me. I like the concept for Break Out Illustrator, and in your elevator pitch it seems very straightforward.
      Your venture pitch was just as clear, and you addressed some of the challenges of the product development head-on. I appreciated your honesty about these issues, but as a potential investor I would want to see how you planned to deal with those issues. Your idea to include the appendix of regulations was an interesting idea and clever way to reinforce the ‘pain’ for which your product can help deliver a solution.

      Regarding market size, I think you’re suggesting that pretty much every school is a potential customer. I’d like to know what part of that market you’re aiming for, or where you would plan to begin marketing. My understanding from your statement “With powerful web-page language translation tools provided at little to no cost, the potential scope of BreakOut Illustrator’s customer base is truly global” is that translation tools could mean that your product would function with any language? This is exciting and also huge – would this require a different mode of development, and could it add to the development costs? I think that because you included numbers about the amount of funding you’d need (for which I applaud you, by the way – way to include numbers!), it would have balanced the pitch to show costs for customers, and put some dollars to the revenue models you mention.

      Those were a few of my questions, Jim, but overall I thought your pitches were informative, really well organized and clear. You’ve also opened my eyes to a new market.

      Andrea

      • Jim 1:33 pm on December 1, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Hi Andrea,
        Yes – if I had more time 🙂 I would have gone into more detail… but with web translation tools, I think a product like mine could be used in other languages. And yes, I did want to include more numbers but I was concerned even at the numbers I included. I really have no experience in business and I estimated what I thought would be salary, office lease, development, equipment, and other common business expenses… Thanks for taking the time to review my pitch!!

        • andrea 4:20 pm on December 1, 2011 | Log in to Reply

          Hi Jim – interesting when you said “I was concerned even at the numbers I included.” I avoided stating that I needed a specific amount of money entirely because I found this quite intimidating. Good for you for going out on a limb with it when you weren’t sure. Do you think this venture is something you’d like to pursue?

          • Jim 4:40 pm on December 1, 2011 | Log in to Reply

            One never knows! I think I love teaching too much to leave it… so very rewarding…

    • verenanz 12:13 am on December 1, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      HI Jim!
      I couldn’t see your elevator pitch (I’m in China) but I really like your venture pitch. I think you should add ESL students as another possible market- especially beginner learners. The idea of having an image next to text is very appealing! Your idea seems well researched, well written, clear and well presented. Why not add another market?

      Verena:)

      • Jim 1:34 pm on December 1, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Thanks Verana! I appreciate your feedback of my pitch. I talked informally with a few SERTs and they confirmed that they would be quite interested in seeing such a product if it would help students in the way I said it would help….

    • ashleyross 2:55 pm on December 1, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Jim, sorry it’s taken longer then I hope to write this for you. Here it goes…

      Webpages are filtered through Breakout Illustrator to assist students who have difficulty making meaning from text heavy webpages by adding helpful and informative images and diagrams that are embedded directly into the text. Before even reading the whole venture pitch I could see the potential; I know there’s a demand for this product and if you can actually create it, I think it will be very successful. I can see many different types of students using this product: from students with learning disabilities who have dyslexia, students with ADD who can’t concentrate long enough to read a text heavy webpage, students with various degrees of autism, ESL students and even students who just prefer images throughout their text could benefit from this product.

      This product sounds promising but as an EVA I wonder will it really work? Making sure the “on-the-fly” insertion of images and diagrams works properly so that it doesn’t insert pictures that are irrelevant or that will confuse and discourage the reader more would be one of my biggest concerns. However, you are aware of this and like you say, just because it’s complex doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be developed. Besides, if you think of other assistive technologies like reading software that reads any text out loud “on-the-fly” or voice recognition software that converts sound into text, I’m pretty sure both of those products were initially complex to produce and they’re both really successful now. There is a lot of initial work that would need to go into this product before a student could use it, but it’s not impossible.
      Another question as an EVA I would have for you is although you and your business partner have lots of experience in the education and business field, who`s going to actually be coding and formulating the algorithms to make this product possible? Do you have someone in mind or are you in the process of finding someone?

      Overall I think you have a great product and one that has the potential to be very successful. I would definitely invest in this product. Also, one company that I believe could be a great partner for BreakOut Illustrator is Cambium Learning Group (http://www.cambiumlearningtechnologies.com/) who provides a wide range of research-based education solutions for the atypical learner.

      Great job Jim!

      Cheers,

      Ashley

      • Jim 4:46 pm on December 1, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        who`s going to actually be coding and formulating the algorithms to make this product possible? Do you have someone in mind or are you in the process of finding someone?

        Excellent question. And, as you saw, there is no mention of it in the venture pitch. I was aware that I would need expert people in this area. If I had thought about it more, I probably would have said that I would try to recruit Joshi, the researcher I mentioned who came close. But I know, from doing the research, that Joshi now works for a corporation so it might be difficult to get him. In any event, you are absolutely right… need to find expertise in this area. But, the University of Waterloo is not far from me (60 mins away) That’s a world class university known for computer science. Perhaps I could start there 😉 Thanks for the link to Cambium – my board uses many of the products from that group of companies. Thanks again for taking the time to look over my venture in so much detail.

        • ashleyross 9:00 am on December 3, 2011 | Log in to Reply

          I think if you were to go through with this venture contacting Joshi would be where I’d start, even if he does say no you’ve at least asked. 🙂 Contacting the University of Waterloo is also a good idea. If neither of those two options works out for you and you still want to create this product, I may have someone in mind for you. 🙂

          Best of luck!

    • mcquaid 7:14 pm on December 1, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi, Jim. You’ve secretly been one of my top three… until now, when I could finally look at your full pitch!

      Brand-wise, I like your logo. I’m not crazy about the text shadowing effect, but the geometric design is cool. I also like how it featured watermark or TV channel-style throughout your video. Your project name could better match what it does (the BreakOut part doesn’t especially catch my interest), but it’s memorable. I thought the mock-up was great, but that the model web page looked a little “Geocities” to me.

      In some ways, I like that work has already been done in this area, and in some ways I am not. Despite how you point out how your product would not be hampered by the same issues that a similar, previous venture was, a past failure with something close to your product makes me nervous. That being said… you can also learn from their challenges and move forward with more knowledge.

      It’s a definite plus that your venture has no direct competition. When I read about ideas like this, I am always thinking about which of my students could use it. You’ve got me wondering about how your program could even work in reverse… where a student could put pictures in a sequence; the pics could have words / tags associated with them that students could pick from. Perhaps it could help them write sentences.

      I liked your business partner ideas – it’s always good to have fruitful avenues to pursue.
      I, like you was struck by the similarity of our ventures (an assistive program that does something very specific, based on some existing tech., etc.). We both claimed to have no competitors, but I started to think of your program as one. Even though our products do different things, we’d both be competing for the same school dollars.

      I think it’s going to be tough to get safe, relevant results from text, but it’s a useful idea!

      Stephen

      • Jim 9:55 am on December 3, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Hi Stephen,
        Thanks for your insightful, honest review. The name “BreakOut Illustrator” occurred to me in the other MET course I was taking this term – ETEC 540. There is a section in one of the modules called “The Breakout of the Visual” which was all about the co-meanings of text and images as well as the tension between text that has visuals embedded within it and the fact that visuals are literally breaking out of the printed text. And this is partially where I got the idea for my venture. Why couldn’t there be a program that simulated the decisions a person makes as they go through text and search through images to illustrate the text. I have a computer programming background and in the days when I programmed professionally (late 80s) I thought almost anything could be represented in code and automated. I think both of our ideas, however, would be incredibly difficult to realize because, at some level, the programming would need to understand the meanings in the text that it was rephrasing or illustrating. This is why I brought up the AI issues… I wanted to be honest an open in my venture about the challenges of the idea. I think that that was a better decision than to appear naive about it. Either way, I don’t think I will get any investors the way it stands!!

        On another note, it is interesting how close our ideas are. I think there is merit in them both and, if I win the lottery, I will shuffle some cash your way so you can get started 🙂

        Thanks for your thoughts and for your collaboration in the course on the files in the cloud project. You and Ashley were great to work with!

  • Doug Smith 12:28 pm on November 27, 2011
    6 votes
    |

    Tags: , , LMS, , , , wiki   

    Please visit my Elevator Pitch below for a new Classroom LMS product called “Cloud LMS.” Truth be told, I would prefer to have done a video of myself speaking but a combination of me being a poor line memorizer, along with lighting and camera difficulties, led to the movie below. I like the narration though […]

    Continue reading Cloud Connect Posted in: Week 13: Venture Forum
     
    • andrea 10:11 pm on November 28, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Doug,
      What a great elevator pitch! I really liked that you were clearly speaking to people about an investment opportunity, but that you also quickly described the product, identified the size of the market and existing issues for schools, and even spoke to the strength of your team’s skills. Well done!
      Andrea

    • jarvise 11:32 am on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      I like your idea, and the rationale makes a lot of sense. I also liked your last two pages evaluating your own pitch. I wasn’t sure how to get that into my own. I never thought of just blatantly doing it. Good job! I would be hesitant to invest. Not because of any issues with your proposal, per se, but with the nature of the market you are targeting. A direct to schools pitch seems very risky. A lot of products that make so much sense for adoption within schools just can’t get traction, for no particular reason. The culture of the education system is weird this way. Unless you can attain fad status, unfortunately it seems difficult to gain widespread adoption. I would be much more comfortable investing in a product sold directly to students, parents, or companies. That being said, it doesn’t really fit with what you are proposing. I think that there are so many products emerging in this area at this time, that it may be too risky. Especially since many of them are free. Your elevator pitch was one of the best I have seen. Great work!
      Emily

    • Deb Giesbrecht 5:34 pm on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Doug,

      I had the same technical issues – not to mention I hate being in front of the camera! I liked your presentation – very well done. The graphics and concepts were very clearly defined and I think the market is very expanse. It would be challenging to set yourself a part from all the other Learning Management Systems out there – but your plan appears to be well researched and very feasible. Your elevator pitch does make me want to investigate the venture further, so I think you effectively did your homework! Great job!

    • Keisha Edwards-Hamilton 8:15 pm on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Doug.

      Cloud Connect is a very interesting venture. It grabbed my attention quickly and I am keen on learning about how it works since it promises a new way for learning management systems which in my opinion is much needed today to cater to the different needs of today’s digital age learners.Considering that the LMS market is worth billions as stated, this is a venture I would definitely pursue. Great pitch.

      Keisha

    • hall 1:30 am on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Doug,

      I like the idea of ‘Connect LMS’. The ideas presented in the pitch were clear and could be easily followed. The font size and graphics were very good. I absolutely think it is a brilliant idea especially as institutions are in search of effective and efficient tool to provide learning to a large number of students. The idea of using with primary and high school students is a plausible one and would definitely allow students to acquire conceptual knowledge rather than procedure knowledge at very tender age. Although I think is a good venture, I am concerned about your target market (primary and high school students). I think that your venture would be more marketable if you include the tertiary level students which have been proven to be a good target group.

      Conroy

    • Deb Kim 4:08 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Doug,

      This is a great idea! I liked your elevator pitch. It had enough information to grab people’s attention and was made clear what your venture is about. I also liked your venture proposal. When I first saw your elevator pitch, I wondered how Connect LMS would be different from other LMSs. You answered my question in your venture pitch. I especially liked the idea that Connect LMS is based on the currently available software products. It’ll make it easier for customers to use without learning new functions. I also liked the diagrams you added as a reference in your pitch. They made clear what you wanted to say about your venture.

      As you outlined in ‘The Challenge’ in your pitch, I’m also worried how you are going to advertise and compete against the already existing LMS such as Moodle. Moodle is pervasively used in many districts already, so there must be some unique features of Connect LMS that are different and more appealing than Moodle.
      Great work!

      Deb

    • verenanz 12:05 am on December 1, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Clear, concise – grabs your attention, it was full of facts and details. You had the answers. Great integration of e-portfolio ideas, product based assesment and other themes from this course. Industry Canada would be VERY interested in speaking with you if you are ready to take it to the next step. I could give you a contact if you wanted one.
      Well done!
      Verena:)

    • mcquaid 8:57 am on December 3, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      You’re my last review, Doug. Sorry it took me until now to get to you… on the plus side, though, it’s because you were in my top three!

      After watching your elevator pitch a few times, I wrote a few notes down like:
      – slick-looking
      – talk is a bit fast
      – enticing market
      – I may be in if what I see later is good enough!

      So here I am now, after seeing the rest of the pitch.

      Market-wise, it seems to make a lot of sense. There is definitely a trend for growth (as shown by your LMS infographic on page five), and your market share growth prediction on the same page would mean a growth of 15 – 37.5 million this year alone (in addition to the existing ¾ billion market size). It’s definitely enticing. Your SaaS approach, is good, but I felt a little hesitant when you said you would market it to individual teachers first. I would be worried that that would slow growth down, and by the time you had a strong base, could the window of opportunity for the product be gone?

      When combined with analytics later, the ability to tailor learning for students and make it personalized, I think, is where this could really shine. Personalized learning is pretty “buzzy” lately – who wouldn’t want things to be tailored to fit them, including learning?

      My remaining questions about the program are:

      – As you mentioned, teacher resistance – I wonder if that will be a significant hindrance, like in Zhao and Frank’s paper that looked at technology as an invasive species in a new ecosystem

      – What will really set it apart from its competitors and hook people? (I think you laid this out fairly well, but was waiting / wishing for something to grab me even more)

      – Related to the last point, I’d be scared to death of the free competitors you alluded to.

      – I’m curious as to what makes Shoebridge a “visionary” – I’ll have to look him up…

      – Just something nitpicky, from an LA teacher – your lack of hyphens for terms like “classroom based” drove me a little nuts!

      Overall, I thought that this was a good idea with great potential. With a little more tweaking after your EVA critiques here, you could be really on to something!

      Cheers!

      Stephen

      https://www.msu.edu/user/k/e/kenfrank/web/papers/Factors%20affecting%20technology%20uses%20in%20schools.pdf

    • khenry 5:24 pm on December 4, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Doug,
      Very good job on the elevator pitch! You had a good balance of voice and visuals and really got all the essential elements within your time. Nice tone and pace, but at times the pace teetered on being a little fast but you held it just enough. I clearly heard your problem, your solution, the competence of your team and reason for your venture, your market and market focus. I also read through your pitch. My main question would be would I really pay for this when I can access elements for free. Therefore, I think your focus and use of learning analytics and personalised programs along with increased collaboration and choice of user with tools are essential. Good job.

      Kerry-Ann

  • David Berljawsky 10:06 am on November 27, 2011
    0 votes
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    Hi All, For my Assignment # 3 I have examined cloud computing in schools, concentrating mainly on a small independant venture by a small company nobody has every head of, the Apple iCloud. The reason I chose this is that I am not a proponent of cloud computing and wanted to put myself into another […]

    Continue reading A3 – Looking at the cloud Posted in: Week 13: Venture Forum
     
    • jarvise 10:21 am on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      your icloud pitch doesn’t feel like a pitch; it feels like a well-researched background document from a consultant who has been asked to look into it. I don’t know whether this is a good or a bad thing. You have provided a description of the pain and solution, as well as barriers and financial ramifications; it is all there. You didn’t seem overly passionate about this solution, but you did give the disclaimer that you were trying to convince yourself of the merits. You are right to point out that iCloud has its weakness in being stuck with macs. This in and of itself does not support school and district-wide adoption. Especially if students are bringing in their own devices. Cloud-based networking that is available to more than macs seems to make a lot more sense. Good overview!

      Emily

    • ashleyross 4:14 pm on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Nice elevator pitch David! You managed to include a lot of facts into one minute, and it seemed very well researched. One suggestion I would make is to reduce the amount of text on your slides. Some of them are really text-heavy and it takes away from your narration since the listener is trying to read as opposed to listening to your explanation (which is really good!). Instead, I would suggest using a graphic or just having the slide say “For Students”, “For Teachers”, etc. while you’re explaining.

    • andrea 8:13 pm on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hello David,
      I agree with Emily’s comments about your pitches, but after reading your full venture pitch document I was definitely convince of the value of switching to cloud computing. However, I still have a lot of questions about how this would be done – what steps would school or district administrators, support staff, and teachers need to take to make this happen? What is the initial investment of time required to make this switch? What are the costs associated with this time, and would staff training be required? I think there’s an interesting venture in helping schools make the transition to cloud computing – become the guru who works out all the details and supports the local team to make the changes.
      Thanks for presenting such an informative piece on cloud computer. You’ve convinced me of it’s value!
      Andrea

    • mcquaid 2:15 am on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi, David.
      I liked the music, graphics, and voice in your pitch. For reasons similar to Ashley, I found it frustrating to watch – the timing of the voice and slides with text didn’t match. I found myself either closing my eyes to listen or watching it while trying to ignore what you said.
      You’re right in that assessments in the cloud reduces student excuses, but there are still students (at least in my school) with no computer, a broken computer, limited Internet access, or no access at all. Also, when you mentioned the lack of need for powerful computers, I assume you meant just within schools? With my EVA hat on, I was looking more for original / new ideas to invest in. You pitched the idea well, though – there are clear benefits. Some may still have questions about where to go from “here”, though / how to implement it.
      Cheers!
      Stephen

    • Angela Novoa 10:55 am on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi David,

      As Stephen mentions, your pitch has a good combination of music, graphics and voice. Your pitch certainly has a market to cover. Maybe I am wrong, but I feel that it is more a rich and detailed research about the product than a pitch. I do agree that we are at a changing phase regarding to technologies and education. I also agree with your idea that we must go with the flow of technological innovation. Your venture offers an innovative concept and your market will increasingly grow over time.

      Cheers,

      Angela.

    • David William Price 10:58 am on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Elevator pitch assessment

      Dbertjaw – iCloud

      First Impression: no face, voiceover and music with slides, too fast to read slides, appears to be a sales pitch rather than an investment pitch

      CEO Credibility: The CEO does not appear as an image or video although there is a voiceover all the way through. I have the voiceover to judge CEO credibility. The voice has no passion. I might take a negative inference based on the fact the CEO is unwilling to appear.

      Management Team: No team is mentioned, so I have no way to judge. I might take a negative inference based on the fact the CEO is unwilling to talk about the team.

      Venture Concept: Apparently the icloud is about collaborative writing, realtime communication, anywhere access, marking, getting assignments, e-portoflios, and saves money. There’s no description of what icloud is or how it works.

      Opportunity Space: There’s no description of the intended market although the first slide mentions school boards, or what the market size is, or the target market or revenue this venture can capture.

      Market Readiness: No description of how this will be marketed or distributed, how to enter the market or how to grow presence.

      Competitive Edge: Claims to save money but doesn’t explain how. Doesn’t explain current costs of existing systems or projected costs of cloud systems. Doesn’t explain how it is different from other cloud approaches. Doesn’t explain what the venture does. Is iCloud the Apple offering? Who is behind this venture?

      Exit Strategy: No indication of their target market, its size, or how they will capture it. No indication of what investment is wanted or how it will be repaid.

      Overall Investment Status: I don’t see the CEO or the team, I don’t know who the targeted market is. I don’t know how my investment will be repaid. I don’t know how this will be marketed. I consider this high risk and would not pursue.

    • Jay 9:26 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi David,

      I liked that you chose to critique an existing technology (icloud) and its benefits schools. What I find more interesting is your approach to the assignment; taking something you have never supported, further assessing it and that you “grudgingly” observed that the benefits outweigh the costs. 🙂

      I too am often worry about privacy and while Apple may argue this is wholly overstated (though have a slight bias in their opinion) I find the idea of being tracked and monitored a little unnerving. But your argument about the ability to remove potentially privacy-invading software such as back-ups put this to ease for those that worry about this.

      I share the concern with Stephen that while the cloud allows access from any location there are many students that do not have access to computers from home.

      Thanks for providing this venture critique and the benefits that potentials it has for schools.

      Jay

    • Deb Kim 11:19 pm on December 1, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi David,

      You did an excellent job on catching people’s attention (or at least mine). Your elevator pitch had clear explanation on what your venture is. I especially liked how you used a point form to explain why iCloud is working for teachers, students, and school boards. Graphics were great and your voice was also clear.

      As for the venture pitch, it would’ve been a lot easier for me to read if you could divide your paragraphs into sub-sections (e.g. What is iCloud?, Marketing, How it works, etc.). Adding some images could also help catching readers’ attention.

      iCloud is a venture that I’d like to know more about as I was recently introduced to iCloud but still have no idea when and how to use it. You did a good job explaining how teachers can implement it to teaching.

      Deb

    • David Berljawsky 7:20 am on December 3, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      I’d just like to thank eveyone for the comments. I am aware that this may be seen as more of a research pitch then a venture pitch (if that is possible). My reasoning for completing the project this way is that, quite frankly I do not particularly like cloud computing and wanted to convince myself. I almost did.

      Criticisms accepted, I am always guilty of trying to cram as much information as possible into anything, including pitches. This may come across as confusing, agreed. Although trying to fit what you want into a pitch is tough. I had to cut down on what I wanted to include.

      However, I do need to comment on not using my face, or likeness in the video. This is me defending my project. I am aware that this is an elevator pitch, and we only have a short amount of time to promote our product. I am not comfortable using my likeness on screen, and on the internet. This is my choice, and I respectfully understand that perhaps some people do not agree with this choice and thus do not consider this an proper elevator pitch. However, the course description clearly states that we are required to “Create a short, media-rich “elevator pitch” (1 minute maximum, using any medium or tools that most persuasively conveys the essence of your venture)”. This is my medium of choice, and one that I believe conveys the essence of my venture. I can accept and respect criticisms of my content. However I respectfully disagre with those that are criticising my pitch because I chose a different medium that is percieved as untrustworthy and improper. I chose this medium because I believe that it best conveys the approach of a large (now) faceless corporation.

      Thank you all for a great semester.

      David Berljawsky

  • Juliana 10:00 am on November 27, 2011
    6 votes
    |

    Tags: Educational Research, Financial Skills, Non-profit, Serious Games   

    Below is my Elevator Pitch for the “Pennywise Project”. [kaltura-widget uiconfid=”534″ entryid=”0_0wybngzb” width=”400″ height=”330″ addpermission=”” editpermission=”” /] You can access my venture pitch for the Pennywise Project here. In both cases, please forgive the quality of my voice…I had to do my narrations while fighting a bad cold. Juliana.

    Continue reading A3 – Pennywise Project Posted in: Week 13: Venture Forum
     
    • Julie S 2:46 pm on November 28, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Juliana,

      I just started my reviews but I noticed when I watched your pitch that you have focussed on non profit and not making money from the venture. I wonder if you have considered pitching to the debt management companies that you mentioned. They might be interested as paying clients because they could promote this as a social benefit in terms of helping provide prevention training for future generations.

      For example, if the company is providing a service to a client who is also a parent they could offer a family based service where they offer this type of training for their client’s children to help them learn better budgeting practices. After all, if the parent is having problems then they probably aren’t passing down good habits to their children.

      Just a thought. Cheers,

      Julie

    • Julie S 9:06 pm on November 28, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Juliana,

      Here’s my more detailed review of your venture. I liked your elevator pitch with the upbeat music, clear message and illustrated non-financial benefits. Your venture pitch is strong especially in how you state right up front that this is a social enterprise so there are no financial returns. Your problem statement is convincing but I’m not sure if I made the connection to why 3D was so important. You may want to add some key benefits here. From a media formatting perspective you may want to consider image instead of text when you are talking because I don’t think people can read one thing and hear another at the same time. Having said that your narrative was clear and easy to follow but I did have to stop and rewind for the text.

      Coming from a corporate background I’m not used to social enterprises that don’t have a profit side but I think you did a pretty good job in explaining the social benefits.

      I think I would be leaning towards investing if I could see a way that this was tied to my organization’s social responsibility goals. You may want to consider including something in the pitch that demonstrates the concept of an organization’s Triple Bottom Line which is a popular way of measuring value that goes beyond just profitability. In fact, if you did this with the agencies you mentioned I think you could be able to convince them to partner for more than just marketing. I was confident in your abilities from a developmental perspective and your partnership plans made your pitch stronger because they would bring the sales and marketing skills to the table that I would be concerned about.

      • Juliana 3:21 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Hi Julie,

        Thank you for bringing your corporate perspective. I think it is times like these I really do regret not having more of a corporate background. There are different priorities and strategies that need to be engaged and I will admit I did wonder if there was a better way that I could “sell” this venture.

        I do agree with you about the 3D rendering. I think I was on the fence about this initially about creating a 2D or 3D environment. In the end the free and openness of the exercise got the better of me and I did choose to shoot for the clouds versus staying on the practical (and probably cheaper) 2D ground.

        I am glad that you sent the link on Triple Bottom Line. I think this could have been a great way of structuring my pitch. As for your previous comment about partnering with a debt management company, I really wondered if they would have 200K to spare and I guess that is why I hesitated against it. But again, I may be completely wrong about this…as I mentioned, I have very little business experience so I am not really aware of the funds such organizations have for such ventures.

        I did toy with the idea of recovering some costs by doing some advertisements, but again as this game is for high school students and was serving to help with fostering spending habits, I wondered about the ethicalities of this. May be it wouldn’t be so bad if I was selling advertisements for charities or post-secondary institutions? This type of advertising sells the good that can be done with money.

        Thoughts?

        Juliana.

    • Angela Novoa 2:13 pm on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Juliana,

      I really enjoyed your Venture. I think that there is a real target and market for both gaming and needs for financial education. By integrating financial learning with gaming you will be able to engage costumers, to prepare youngsters in a relevant issue of their lives, and to promote problem solving and critical thinking skills.

      Your Venture Pitch provides information about the competency level of its leaders, the benefits offered, how it is different from other ventures, and who are the competitors. Your venture also provide clear information about the money that is required and when will investors receive returns. I think that needing a high amount of money to develop the venture with no real monetary return is an issue to consider. It is not clear how will the venture survive if it does not receive any incomes. I would suggest to provide more information about the returns of this venture. Indeed, receiving reputation as an entity that works in the improvement of the quality of education is really relevant. Having incomes for maintaining the Pennerwise Project platform is necessary too.

      Overall, I would invest in the Pennerwise Project because I think that it offers a innovative solution and meets the needs of a wide number of costumers.

      Angela.

      • Juliana 3:44 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Hi Angela,

        Thank you for your comments! Yes, the big issue with this venture is the return. After completing the pitch, I did wonder if I could possibly sell some space for advertising for charities or post-secondary institutions. I was thinking of targeting the advertising towards positive ways of spending your money (ie. education, vocational training or charities). Perhaps that is an angle that I could explore in future?

        Thoughts?

        Juliana.

    • kstooshnov 4:15 pm on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Wonderful pitch and best wishes for the Pennywise Project, Juliana,

      I could easily relate to the pain points, and feel as if I am on the same page as you when coming up with a solution. I would love to see more of the design of the serious game, and can think of some social justice-minded teachers in my district who would get behind it. What they may not be able to do, however, is buy in, and I can understand how difficult it might be to convince those with money to support a project that seeks to lessen the gap between the rich and poor. Nevertheless, you have carefully thought out and presented your idea, in spite of the flu, and spoke clearly and passionately about what most concerns you, and many others.

      All the best,
      Kyle

      • Juliana 7:07 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Thank you for your kind words. Yes, doing this project (and another one for ETEC 540) that required narrations while I had a cold was not fun, but I did manage it.

        I think from reading people’s posts these last few weeks and my general experience when working with public school teachers during the MET program is that teachers have little time and very little support. As a result, I just couldn’t create a venture that didn’t take this into account. Yes, it won’t make any money, but at the same time it may be easily integrated into the classroom and hopefully create a positive change in spending behaviours.

        Juliana.

    • ashleyross 4:22 pm on November 29, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi Juliana,

      I like how you engage the viewer by asking them questions. The concept of your venture sounds promising, and teaching students how to be financially savvy is something I think is really important. Your elevator pitch also left me with wanting to know more about your product which I think is a good thing.

      • Juliana 6:43 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Thanks for your comments Ashley! I was wracking my brain on how to generate interest with my elevator pitch and I found that the questions were the best way to draw people in.

        Juliana.

    • David William Price 10:50 am on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Elevator pitch assessment

      Juliana – Pennywise

      First Impression: no face, voiceover with music and slides,

      CEO Credibility: The CEO does not appear as an image or video although there is a voiceover all the way through. I have the voiceover to judge CEO credibility. The CEO appears to be passionate about the problem of student debt. I might take a negative inference based on the fact the CEO is unwilling to appear.

      Management Team: No team is mentioned, so I have no way to judge. I might take a negative inference based on the fact the CEO is unwilling to talk about the team.

      Venture Concept: Apparently a serious game of some sort related to student debt. No description of the game or what it does or how it works or who would use it. No description of the costs or timing of development of the serious game.

      Opportunity Space: No description of the intended market. Is it students? What kind of students?

      Market Readiness: No description of how this will be marketed or distributed, how to enter the market or how to grow presence.

      Competitive Edge: Apparently providing free access to a serious game is meant to be an advantage. Similar games already exist on the web. No indication of how this game is different or how it will be paid for.

      Exit Strategy: No indication of their target market, its size, or how they will capture it.

      Overall Investment Status: I don’t see the CEO or the team, I don’t know who the targeted market is. I don’t know how my investment will be repaid. I don’t know how this will be marketed. I consider this high risk and would not pursue.

      • Juliana 3:04 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Hi David,

        I do appreciate your comments. My reasons for using PowerPoint slides versus showing my face for the presentation is privacy. I am not comfortable with my face showing up on Youtube like that. Also, as I mentioned previously, I was sick, so I was not at my best anyway.

        I was a little confused by your other comments as I did think I covered some of the gaps that you mentioned. For instance, I did describe on the Marketing slide who my audience would be along with who my marketing targets. In this slide I also mentioned how the marketing and promotion of the game will be done.

        As for the competitive edge, I did mention why my game would be better than the existing free games on the internet. That is mentioned on the 3 Pain Point/Solution slides.

        In addition, as my venture was more of a research project, the structure of the management team is a little different. I was enlisting a partnership with an existing serious game developer who would be doing the work of creating the game. Furthermore, I do clearly state that recovering the investment would not be the priority. The potential non-monetary gains are listed on the Return slide. Also, I did cover how long and how much money it would take to develop such a game on the Ask slide.

        Take Care,
        Juliana.

      • Juliana 11:48 am on December 1, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Hi David,

        Just realized that you have only reviewed my elevator pitch. I take back most of my comments as I was under the impression that you did a detailed review of my venture pitch, which covers all of the points you mentioned.

        My reasoning for not covering the points that you spoke about in the elevator pitch is because my aim was to generate interest first. Also it was too tough to put all of that information that you commented on in a 1 minute elevator pitch. To be honest I had enough trouble fitting everything in the 8 minute limit for the venture pitch!

        Juliana.

    • mcquaid 12:32 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Hi, Juliana.
      I must admit that you were #4 in my ten pitches. I liked your pitch – I thought it was informative, interesting, and sounded useful. Are you pitching this as a social enterprise (blend of profit and not-for-profit)? Your use of the word “free” may scare away some investors looking for a return (unless you’re thinking gov’t will pay for this program for schools), but may still attract some investment angels looking to do some good. Like the dragons on Dragon’s Den, I liked your idea, but just didn’t see how I could make any money with it.

      Cheers,

      Stephen

      • Juliana 6:56 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Thanks Stephen! I am honoured to be your #4 pitch 🙂 There were so many really great pitches from our class and being #4 makes me feel pretty good!

        You are correct in that there will not be a monetary return and that the word “free” is my biggest barrier.

        I guess I chose to choose this route because I really felt that our public school system was just being tapped out for money and our teachers simply don’t have time to implement anything complicated in their classrooms. Also it was important to me to ensure that my venture was accessible to the public school system as they would be the biggest market and would allow for many students to be reached. So this made me go the research route.

        Juliana.

    • Jay 3:18 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      Juliana,

      I think you are proposing an interesting idea here for schools and suggesting they play a role in teaching what you have referred to as “financial literacy” to students to foster change in our financial habits. I think your social venture is touching on an important subject in today’s cloudy economic climate.

      You have presented clear problems and solutions that your company will solve. Suggesting partnerships with the organizations you proposed would strengthen your reputation and credibility. I also like the idea of using funding to conduct pre/post qualitative and quantitative research in this area to observe change and determine effectiveness.

      I am slightly skeptical about a “serious game” and it’s ability to change spending/consumer habits. I would also worry about the resistance you might face from the plethora of companies, organizations that benefit from consumerism and debt practices. However I think you are proposing a strong and necessary idea for students of this age.

      I would invest in your idea, but one question I have is to who you are targeting for investment. Your product is offered free to schools so I am unsure who would be investing. Debt management companies? Other non-profit NGOs? government? the partnerships you are suggesting? This is all I was unclear on.

      overall great job!

      Jay

      • Juliana 3:39 pm on November 30, 2011 | Log in to Reply

        Hi Jay,

        Thank you very much for your comments!

        I purposely left the question of who would be investing very open-ended.

        I am from a very academic background so I automatically leaned towards government grants. I was also thinking that there could be potential buy in from bigger foundations (ie. Gates foundation), but again, I know that I am shooting for the moon.

        As I mentioned in my reply to Julie above, I don’t have much business or corporate background, so I did hesitate focusing on debt management companies as a funding partner. I was wondering about whether or not they would have the funds to go for such a venture, but I think that they would be a natural funding match.

        I also wonder if a serious game can change the world, but I do think that giving people the chance to experience the effects of their choices in a safe and simulated environment can help. I do want to stress the teacher-led activities that would go with a program like this. Those are the activities that can really help to educate and hopefully change some behaviours.

        I think our time in the MET program has shown us that technology on its own is not the answer. It is a tool and it does fall on the teacher’s shoulders to ensure that all the learning goals are met. All we can do is hope to create ventures that ease the burden a little and help teachers meet the learning goals.

        Juliana.

    • Doug Smith 7:59 pm on December 1, 2011 | Log in to Reply

      jJuliana,

      I was very intrigued by your elevator pitch and its not-for-profit venture. This was an immediate draw for me as a member of my community, as I appreciate the desire to educate for the sake of our society.

      The Pennywise Project is well thought out and tells me most of what I would like to know about making an investment. The one part that I would really like to hear a lot more about is the actual markets and communities that it is targeted for. This would tie in with the development of the game, as different demographics will require different scenarios and situations so that the game is relevant.

      In general, I am very skeptical of your cost for development. $200,000 over a two year period seems incredibly low. With perhaps more development needed to address diverse communities, the research cost alone may be significantly larger. However, maybe you are planning on taking advantage of subsidized or cost-reduced labour in order to achieve your targets. I would also like to see how this product would be marketed to schools. Obviously the fact that it is free is attractive. But even free products can be difficult to distribute without a skilled marketing team.

      With some clarifications on the costs for development, along with a list of confirmed development partners, I would be eager to invest.

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