Woah, so a whole bunch of stuff happened. Shia LaBeouf, Halloween, Midterms. Only one of those is truly scary though. Shia, obviously. Have you seen Disturbia? Fits the title. This week was jam-packed with events like a hipster’s iTunes is with obscure band names, like “Howling Pasta Orchestra” or “Totalitarian Amphibian.”
But I’ve got to give my attention to what overtook the campus conscious, the big talk at UBC being that “SHIA LABEOUF WAS LIKE FOUR FEET FROM ME!!! HE WAS JUST SITTING DOWN AND HE TOOK A BITE OF A SANDWICH AND I LOVE HIM!!!!!” or so I saw on Facebook. That was in the morning, when the stages of celebrity spotting were in the works. First was the flurry of urgent information:
“Shia LaBeouf is filming at the Chem Building!” Simple. To the point. Unlike the second stage, when the panicky gossipers who are out of the loop confuse it for everyone:
“What?!? Where’s Shia LaBeouf?!? He’s doing chemistry?!? He looks like a building?!? Help Me!!!!!!” This is when the hysteria hits its peak. People are scrambling, cameras are being grabbed and girls are hastily fixing their hair on the slight possibility that Shia will notice them. And then the time is right for the third stage, the witty Facebookers:
“You know, I have a feeling there’s a movie star here. I don’t know, people are being pretty vague about it.” And then they’d end with some sort of winky, ironic face, like 😛 or ;). Or they might just end it all with a line of dots like this………………
The fourth stage is when it takes a turn for the worst, when the “too bothered to care” people chime in about all their grievances, commenting on posts saying:
“Well Transformers 2 sucked so who really cares? Jeez.”
They usually end with a misspelled word. It’s their way of telling the world they have just enough energy to give their opinion but not enough to stand behind it. If they’re questioned they can easily sneak back in their turtle shell by saying: “Dude, kidding. Jeez.” The fifth stage is all pictures, blurry camera phone snapshots of a semi-pixilated area that’s supposedly important:
“I swear that black smudge is him!”
The real shame in it all was that Robert Redford was ignored. I didn’t see a single Robert Redford status. I guess I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. There’s bound to be a Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid fan like me. And Spy Game? Well, I didn’t love it too much but my Dad did. That’s got to mean something. He was Gatsby! Not my Dad, but Redford. All you Literature majors must appreciate that. Anyways, I was just surprised at how culturally old I was, in awe of the Sundance Festival founder more than the Eagle Eye kid.