Category Archives: Residence Life

Anything and Everything: A Review of My First Semester Adventure

A full semester of UBC. A full semester of equal parts haste, equal parts precision. It showed me that intuition and intellect go nowhere without hard work, much like the papers to prove said intellect. It was fun though. I felt like an high school exchange student in a foreign nation, recognizing key concepts and learning patterns but reveling in this newfound form of tweaked education. Also, I can see the difference between high school and university now. At high school you’re part of the mass, trying to shine just a bit brighter than that guy or that girl. But at university, you’re a shining individual (that’s why you were accepted!), making up the shining mass. I like to think of university as a league of superheroes, because I’m amazed by what people are doing around me, intellectually and socially.

The clubs we have are amazing. I had the opportunity to be in a UBCimprov workshop, and it was my social highlight of the semester. There’s a beautifully ridiculous aura you gain when telling a story about a goat’s estranged mother, a balloon party for lumberjacks, an amusement park in a swamp, anything you want to say. That’s what improv is. It’s those niches we crave which give us the experiences we treasure. How many 100-level courses will we vividly remember? A couple, I’d say. And only the ones that truly touched us. But that crazy and monumental Colour Wars, that chaotic yet fulfilling Totem One Acts, that quaint Lord of the Rings marathon in rez, those are my vivid memories. That’s my niche.

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To Be Sick At University

I was sick last week, in the middle of personal midterm hysteria and the deceivingly challenging quest to craft a university paper. Imagine a knight set out to defeat the fierce dragon of responsibility, using the often-nonexistent sword of productivity. Now imagine that knight is sick. Totally changes the story, doesn’t it? Frodo wasn’t sick. Luke Skywalker wasn’t sick. Yet, I was. And it’s a total change to be sick in university.

In high school, people missed days. They commit to the day when they make the decision to go to school. They confide to the story of it all, because that’s what high school is, a story. The cliques, the clubs, the grade hierarchy. It was one big plotline. It’s the reason no one wanted to go in when they missed their morning classes. It would be like starting Lost in season 4. It just wouldn’t make sense.

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What I Am Thankful For

And as Thanksgiving officially comes to a close, the glorious statutory holiday spent mostly digesting, I find myself looking back and forwards, side to side at my life. What am I thankful for? Who has gotten me here? And what was in that cranberry sauce? Seriously, 4 cups crushed cranberries shouldn’t taste like the love of Will and Rose, Forrest and Jenny, even the yellow fish from Finding Nemo and his bubbles. It was that delicious. But as the edible love of Sunday breezed into the bloated orangutan-like aura of Monday, I feel thoughts more of reflection than glazed ham, a rare occurrence for me. And I’m thinking of UBC, my life, and how everything has changed. So with that in mind, please enjoy what I’m thankful for:

I’m thankful for my room. Nothing beats a hard night of studying like the unkempt bed I strive to keep cluttered. Residence life gives people the right to be messy, and I love it. Owning a mess is a liberating feeling.

I’m thankful for the dining hall. Nowhere else could I have lamb, apple pie, soft-serve ice cream and a spicy chicken burger all in one meal. Also, nowhere else do lines go so quickly. I love swiping my UBCcard. I feel like Bill Gates buying a yacht, just putting another transaction on the card of destiny, the one card to rule them all.

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So something awkward happened to me today…

A good friend reentered my life recently and that good friend’s name is Awkwardness. We go far back. It was a normal Wednesday night, as Wednesday nights usually are. I was in my room, arranging the pins on my bulletin board into various infantile, yet hilarious, images. It began simply enough. Lying diagonally on my bed beneath the board, I reached up and grabbed six pins. Two for eyes. Four for the mouth. Smiley face. You know, beginner push-pin art. But then I got creative. With charming curves I chiseled a banana. With crispy colours I cleaved out a rainbow bridge. And to top it all off, my masterpiece was a dragon. Well, it was half a dragon. I ran out of push-pins. But I swear, that half a dragon was pretty half awesome. It was at that moment my hunger overrode my childish imagination.

“Yo Evan!” my hypothalamus rapped. “It’s time for some food.”

And I agreed. My brain, which apparently sounds like a ‘80s hip-hop group, was right. I was pretty hungry, but had eaten a hearty soup just a couple hours before, leaving me in a weird food purgatory. To eat more or not to eat more? That was the question. I decided that since I usually skip breakfast, a king’s feast at night might serve the future of my stomach well, giving it some backup when it’s forced to face the trials and tribulations of a bagel-less morning, a croissant-free sunrise.

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Adventures in the Dining Hall

Going into residence, I had preconceptions about the whole “dining experience.” I imagined intimidating women in hairnets serving out helpings of beef slop, veggie slop and surprise slop, which would just be a beef and veggie slop blend. I hate giving in to clichés, but there was a part of my brain that truly believed that’s how it would be. It’s also the part that tries convincing me Pop-Tarts are somewhat healthy and that walking to the fourth floor burns off routinely eaten pie.

Walking into the hall was a grand experience. There was no slop! There was pita bread, stir-fry, chicken skewers and roast beef. Oh how I love roast beef. I went straight for it. It was love at first smell. The succulent gravy, the lightly pink middle, the potent tang of that outer layer. I relished as the server carved the mighty roast, struggling, still fighting with it to slice out a serving of my favourite meat. She dipped the geometrically pleasing ladle in the gravy tub and poured sweet victory over my roast. I topped it off with some cauliflower and a strip of garlic bread to produce a meal worthy of a king. King of England, King of Floors, King of Late Night, any King. The food is great. What it lacks in love it makes up in quantity. Enough of anything trumps love eventually, especially when anything involves gravy.

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So Much Walking

Now, I could talk to you about classes, prepare you for the barrage of post-secondary academic turmoil. I could incite wisdom upon thy mind to be a better student and a better citizen. I could do that, but I’d much rather focus on something far more trivial, walking.

Think you’ll fall victim to the Freshman 15? Not if you’re an Arts student at Totem who likes baby carrots. So much walking. My exercise used to be getting up…and that’s it. So for someone who has to walk across campus and back every day, I both dread and treasure the experience. I dread it when it’s 8:46 am, my kettle won’t work and the shower is feeling quite cynical, or to put it un-pretentiously, cold. So damn cold. Seriously, did someone need all the hot water for a steam-powered car? That would suggest an Engineer. I’ll look into that. Although, I like walking when it’s a good morning, like in Disney sit-coms, which as we all know stands for Disney Situational Commercialization. There, I’m being all political and edgy. Deal with it establishment! It’s all the Man, man. Take your [insert political adjective] [insert political noun] out of [insert stupid cause, like domestic abuse against vegetables or petitioning for more cat-sitters].

Hey, I’m just the messenger, the incredibly confusing messenger who’s supposed to be taking about walking.

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The Move.

Ah, the day of reckoning, the final countdown, the gargantuanly supreme moment of life-altering totality.

The move out.

Or move in, I guess, but that all depends on your half-full/half-empty stance of life psychologists seem to rave about. Some see the glass half-full and some see the glass half-empty, but one idealistic genius, sarcasm semi-intended, saw millions of post-secondary minds mulling over a basic analogy for optimism and pessimism, a subject many people could have understood with a simple:

“Some people are happy. Some people are sad. That’s all folks.”

And then the Looney Tunes logo would play them out and everyone would return to life a little happier and a little smarter with a skip in their step and warmth in their heart.

But that’s not how life plays out. And that’s not what this blog should be about either.

All right, the move out. Or move in. Damn my repetitive mind!

Okay, I’ll paint the picture.

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