Now, I could talk to you about classes, prepare you for the barrage of post-secondary academic turmoil. I could incite wisdom upon thy mind to be a better student and a better citizen. I could do that, but I’d much rather focus on something far more trivial, walking.
Think you’ll fall victim to the Freshman 15? Not if you’re an Arts student at Totem who likes baby carrots. So much walking. My exercise used to be getting up…and that’s it. So for someone who has to walk across campus and back every day, I both dread and treasure the experience. I dread it when it’s 8:46 am, my kettle won’t work and the shower is feeling quite cynical, or to put it un-pretentiously, cold. So damn cold. Seriously, did someone need all the hot water for a steam-powered car? That would suggest an Engineer. I’ll look into that. Although, I like walking when it’s a good morning, like in Disney sit-coms, which as we all know stands for Disney Situational Commercialization. There, I’m being all political and edgy. Deal with it establishment! It’s all the Man, man. Take your [insert political adjective] [insert political noun] out of [insert stupid cause, like domestic abuse against vegetables or petitioning for more cat-sitters].
Hey, I’m just the messenger, the incredibly confusing messenger who’s supposed to be taking about walking.