Reviewer: Evan Ruiz
Author: Rodrigo Samayoa
Term: Theory of Change
Eng301-Rodrigo-Samayoa-definitions
Hello Rodrigo! I reviewed your draft of Assignment 1.3- Three definitions. Great job! It’s clear that you put a lot of time into this assignment and it’s organization.
Initial Impressions: As someone who has a love for philanthropy, I appreciate your description of the term “theory of change” and it’s relation to social movements. More specifically, I think you did a wonderful job with organization; starting at a high-level, eventually showing how it can be applied.
This assignment is well written, and well thought out. With that being said, I think you only need minor revisions to make this assignment the “best” it can be. Wonderful job! I have listed my suggestions below:
Grammar: beware of run-on sentences, and missed capitalization. While this is, holistically, not a major problem within your assignment, I think it is worth addressing. For example, at the start of the second paragraph, under “Situation” you miss a capital “M” at the start of the new sentence.
You spoke very specifically about a few topics, however I only noticed citations for the visuals that you provided. Be sure to include citations within your text if you reference written content from the sites you drew visuals from, or any other sources.
Organization: You did a wonderful job creating a “flow” to the assignment. There is a natural progression from one subject to the next, and so on. However, I noticed that your “References” page was listed directly under you closing paragraph. Your works cited should be listed on its own page, following your finals thoughts/ comments.
In regards to your visuals, I think that they were placed in the appropriate section. More specifically, in your last section, you did a great job of introducing the visual that you presented. My only suggestion is that you do the same with all visuals.
Original: “Sandy now has a clearer roadmap to achieve her goal” {image/ visual placed}
Alternative: “Sandy now has a clearer roadmap to achieve her goal. This process is laid out in the 4 step diagram below.”
Suggested Changes: I noticed that, in some transitions (one header to another), you introduce a new paragraph by continuing the prior paragraph. Is that done purposefully?
For example, at the start of “Mapping Theory of Change” you state,
Original: “As you can probably tell, this statement does not give Sandy a detailed strategy to achieve change. It shows what road Sandy wants to take on her journey, but not a detailed view of this road.”
Alternative: “As you can probably tell, the statement referenced under ‘What is Theory of Change’, does not give Sandy a detailed strategy…”
Are you referring to the statement from the previous section? I think that it’s important to consider the start of each section, to a certain degree, as it’s own. If you were to begin reading, at the start of a section, it should make sense to the reader.
Final Impressions: I hope that you’ve found these, brief, suggestions to be helpful. Again, I would like to reiterate that you’ve done a wonderful job on this assignment. The content within your assignment is well thought and well organized. Do one more run-through, checking from grammar/ run-on sentences and introductions to visuals/ transitions between paragraphs. Please feel free to reach out if you have any questions or concerns about the feedback that I provided.