Second Life versus Real Life

July 14th, 2010 • LIBR559M

I rarely use the internet for any kind of social interaction. I use my email and facebook account to talk to friends, but these are friends who I see and hang out with on a regular basis. After doing Module 1 and reading through the introduction to the course, I’m already thinking about what my problem is with this interactive media. Mostly I’m easily overwhelmed with all the possible information that will come to me now that I have a brand new twitter, delicious and blogline account. But I’m also uncomfortable with the absence of face to face contact that’s possible. One can truly “live” online.

I saw a CBC documentary on The Fifth Estate a little while ago called “Strangers in Paradise” (it aired Jan 28, 2009) and it scared me! It’s all about people who live in second life to the point where they are having virtual sexual relationships with other avatars. One woman who was married with 4 kids even flew to England to meet her online lover. Another man who was interviewed said he didn’t understand why his wife was angry when she saw that he was having online sex with another avatar. In the end, several couples who met in a virtual world met in real life and hit it off and decided to be together, both on screen and off, so who am I to judge.

I just worry that people will lose their social skills altogether because we’ll never have to actually see or speak to anyone if we don’t want to. I realize this is irrational, but I also know of people who have broken up over facebook. As Dean quoted on the introduction page, “We shape our tools…and then our tools shape us” ~ Marshall McLuhan, 1965. I do genuinely love change, but I hesitate to fully embrace all the changes that are happening in the ways we communicate with each other.

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5 Responses (Add Your Comment)

DG July 16, 2010
at 12:55 pm

I saw that CBC program too, but I don’t see those people depicted it as typical social media users.

You are beginning the important reflective process of deciding what is right for you with social media. I hope you can be open to its potential while mitigating it’s annoying and stressful aspects.

Dean
shawnat July 17, 2010
at 10:16 pm

Fascinating Cristina! I have heard that such people take Second Life to the extreme. I tend to agree with you, but I have also heard that a common argument from these types of social media users, is that their online lives are more “real” to them then their corporeal world. Its not the way I want to live, but I guess it beats depression or suicide.
Maggie Hodge Kwan July 18, 2010
at 10:17 am

Hi Cristina!

I mentioned in the course introductions that we have a similar approach to social media, and so I thought it was interesting that we both saw the CBC program and had similar points of view.

I would agree with Dean’s comment; the folks depicted on the show weren’t the average social media users. Still, Second Life is a growing social media platform and I would be surprised if it didn’t grow considerably over the next few years.

While I was watching the show, I came to the realization that one of the affordance’s of Second Life is that it (like many forms of social media) allows normally shy people to come out of their shelves and to live a dramatically different life in the virtual world than in the real world. I think that this does have benefits – perhaps Second Life users are learning valuable online communication skills, and are building friendships that might not exist in the real world. Still, I share your view that online communication and friendships are only one component to successful relationships – people have to know how to communicate, in person, with others. I don’t believe the importance of face-to-face (or at least phone) conversation will ever be diminished, and I wonder if some Second Life users won’t ever understand that importance. Will this have an impact on their futures?
sfmurphy July 18, 2010
at 3:09 pm

Just out of curiosity, Cristina, do you mean they used Facebook as the medium of breaking up, instead of face-to-face, or that they broke up because of interactions on Facebook? Sad to say I’ve heard of both …

I don’t know if I’m as scared of these issues as a lot of people are, but probably because I’m pretty naive and gung-ho about changes. Maybe I just feel like any negative aspects of an individual person would be there regardless of the mediums they focus on. I.e., maybe that woman would have fallen in love with a next-door neighbor or a grocery store clerk if not an online lover. But that could be reductive, and I know that having so many people accessible to us without as much social risk (so much easier to send an email to a stranger than walk up to them in a coffee shop, I think) probably does increase these problems …

Thanks for this post! I love considering things like this.
Candy July 19, 2010
at 8:08 am

Christina, you raised a good point. I have the same query that with most people now ‘living’ cyberly, are we actually closer or more distant apart?

Candy

Second Life versus Real Life

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