Agostino was a short read, but one that leaves a lot to think about. I think it’s more than your usual coming-of-age story. It’s one of those reads where the writing coaxes you to keep going even though you’re lowkey really weirded out. It actually reminded me a lot of Proust, in the sense that a lot of the emotional tension going on circles back to the mother figure in both of these books.
To start, I would argue that Agostino’s relationship with his mother was definitely not normal. You can sort of feel it right from the beginning. His willingness to show her off stems more from his innocent love and admiration for her. He clearly loves her dearly and refers to her as “his mother”. However, pretty quickly, the narration shifts and she becomes “the mother,” and at one point Agostino reduces her even further to “just a woman”.
“She’s a woman, nothing more than a woman” (pg. 44)
Even when he still loves her, the attachment feels obsessive in a way that isn’t normal for a regular mother-son relationship.
Once that private world with his mother starts falling apart, his developing relationships with the others become more central. This is where the gang of boys comes in. Despite their verbal (and physical) mistreatment of him, Agostino finds himself going back to them again and again. He wants their approval. He wants to understand what they understand. And he doesn’t really have anyone else to turn to because his mother is distracted (looking at you, Renzo) and emotionally unavailable. In fact, the book captures something very real and raw about puberty. Your feelings get unexplainably intense, and suddenly, the people around you have way more influence than they used to.
And it’s not just puberty that causes Agostino to think and act the way that he does. The moment he meets Berto and the gang, we’re suddenly reminded that Agostino is no normal boy—he’s rich. He’s sheltered in a way that shows in everything, in how he talks, what he knows, what he’s embarrassed by, what shocks him. The other boys understand sex, money, and power in a blunt way because they’ve been around it. When the boys mock his wealth and ask about his house and his lifestyle, it’s a reminder that he’s been protected from reality all this time. Perhaps that is why their approval matters so much to him. It’s not only about friendship, but it’s also about trying to catch up to a world he suddenly realizes he knows nothing about.
Overall, I found Agostino a pretty straightforward read. My discussion question for the week would be: Do you think Agostino actually wants to grow up, or does he just want to stop feeling left out and powerless?
5 replies on “Growing Up is Actually Horrible – Agostino”
“In fact, the book captures something very real and raw about puberty. Your feelings get unexplainably intense, and suddenly, the people around you have way more influence than they used to.”
It’s interesting who are really capable of influence Agostino, does he change during this new period of life?
We can discuss it on class.
See you tomorrow.
Julián.
I like what you mentioned about feelings becoming more intense, I think Moravia did a really good job of portraying it in a way that felt realistic (and somehow absurd at the same time). I definitely agree that his shame about being sheltered and naive felt like the source of his desire for their approval and spending time with him, like he was compensating for the sheltered life he’d experienced to that point. To answer your question, I don’t think he wants to grow up at all (and I can’t blame him). I think he felt left behind by his mother and sought out connection elsewhere, and when he realized that he was behind & no longer the center of the world, this was his attempt to take back whatever control he could.
hi there! I really enjoyed your blog post – I agree off that bat that its one of those hypnotizing books that you don’t necessary wanna read due to its weird plot but you just gotta find out what happens next. To answer your question, Agostino didn’t seem like he wanted to want to grow up but instead wanted to escape himself and his growing desire for his mom (so weird to type that out oml). I think he is powerless to his own thoughts and to feel normal again he attempts to use a relationship with ‘normal boys’ to fix himself.
I really liked your point about the shift from “his mother” to “the mother.” That moment felt so uncomfortable but also so real, like the exact point where his innocence cracks. I also agree that his need for the boys’ approval isn’t really about friendship, it’s about trying to catch up to a world he suddenly realizes he doesn’t understand. Great question at the end too; I don’t think he wants to grow up so much as he wants to stop feeling powerless.
Hi!
I noticed his switch from “my mother” to “just a woman” and it is very interesting to read, because to me it felt as if at times, especially when he first learnt about sex, that he didn’t want to see his mother that way. He wanted to see her as just his mother and didn’t want to think about her with other men, but I feel as if calling her just a woman defeats that purpose. A woman is something that does get objectified and sexualized, but not a mother.
But to answer your question. I think that in the beginning, Agostino just wanted to feel included and play with kids around his age. It. was once he learned about sex and he starting to think of his mother as just a woman and when he saw the naked woman, that he wanted to grow up. Growing up would mean being able to feel that feeling that he got when he saw Tortima.