So one may recall yesterday I was infuriated with Dell and their expensive, low-quality warranty as well as their generally shoddy products that they have no problem selling to you even though they’re aware of known flaws.
Did I mention that? Apparently my computer’s problem is completely in my AC adapter, and it’s a rather common problem. So common, in fact, that Dell ordered a recall of their AC adapters almost six months before I even owned this computer due to a problem that, as near as I can tell, is completely identical to mine. And yet they had no problem selling me a power adapter that had this exact problem, and even with the knowledge that these computers are known for faulty AC adapters, they refuse to replace my adapter unless I send my entire laptop in for inspection.
Oh, about that inspection. As I mentioned before, I have to mail my computer to Dell. More accurately, they assured me they would deliver me a box which I would place my computer in, mail to them, and then wait for them to send back. It’s somehwat inconvenient because that means I would have to surrender my computer to Dell right around exam season which I can assure you is a terrible idea, and odds are they wouldn’t send it back to me until somewhere after December 17th, at which point I would be in Toronto with my family.
Well, the problem got a little worse. Today I received a phone message from some delivery service I had never heard of in Richmond. RICHMOND. He told me he had a package for me from Dell which he would hold for five days before throwing out. He warned me that I would expect to have to provide photo ID in order to get this package. Furthermore, the message was for a “Mr. Claws Marks.” Now, I’m pretty used to people being unable to pronounce my first name, which is why I go by Max. “Claws” is probably the most common mispronunciation thanks to a certain overweight bearded flying man in red who breaks into our homes around this time of the year who bears this very name which was repeatedly mispronounced by Americans. However, it wasn’t just a mispronunciation. I received an e-mail from Dell addressed to a “Mr CLAWS MARKS.” Spelled out in text. So I am to believe that Dell is certain that after hearing me on the phone as “Klaus Marks” (and the phone is the only place I gave them my name) they became certain that my name is “Claws” and not even like the ruddy obese gentleman I mentioned before. Apparently my parents had the imagination to name me after the natural weaponry of beasts.
In any case, I have no guarantees that my photo I.D. which by no certain means reads “Claws Marks” anywhere on it, will prove sufficient to the impatient man in Richmond who wants to throw out my empty box.
So here’s a recap: Dell sold me a shoddy product, and when I asked them to replace it while my warranty was still valid, they told me they would send me a box to send them my computer. I give them my address, but apparently all they wanted to know was what province I lived in because they thought that any random place in Richmond with a strong desire to throw out what they are holding would be good enough no matter where in British Columbia I lived. Provided I am willing to make a two hour bus ride to Richmond to pick up an empty box, I may not even get this box because of an error on the part of Dell’s Tech support to comprehend that “Claws” does not rhyme with “House”
What makes this more annoying is that even if I do go down to Richmond and get this box, I don’t think I want to use it, because the last thing I want is to be sitting at my mom’s dinner table in Toronto and getting a message from some random delivery service in Burnaby telling me to come by within the next week or they’ll send my newly inspected laptop to the local technological crushery.
So long story short, I’m deciding to just buy a new power cord, because even if Dell didn’t have an entire bureaucracy devoted to ensuring that they never have to provide adequate service to wronged customers, I’m beginning to believe that even if Dell’s customer service division was actually willing to set things right for me, they actually lack the competence required to fix my problem. I imagine if Dell just apologized and agreed to send me a new power cord, they’d just send me another broken one. Or one that doesn’t fit in the computer. Or perhaps they’ll just send me a large sturgeon with a happy face pinned to it and then assure me I got the right product.
Unfortunately, my short route of buying a new power cord is even problematic. I’m going to have to break my oath to never give money to Dell again, because according to the tecchies at Staples, while they can provide a working AC power adapter for my computer, none of them will actually plug in to my computer because only Dell produces power cords that fit into Dell computers. This explains why I could never borrow a power cord from a friend when my computer was running out of juice. If I want a working power cord, I will have to buy it from Dell. This means there’s a 90% chance it will be broken upon purchase. However, I will have to purchase two power cords before it will cost less than a one year warranty extension.
In short, I despise Dell.
Also, I have my first exam tomorrow. I’m pretty confident in this subject, though, so my rage at Dell burns brighter than any pre-exam anxiety I might have.