The Dragon, the Princess, and the Gold

My name is Gary. This is my adventure story. [[Come with me]]

In an attic, I find an old book. It tells of an island on which lived a rich princess guarded by a dragon. [[Let's go sail away and find that island.]]

Many days later I see the smoking volcano island appear on the horizon. Here I find the dragon, the princess, and the gold. Before I rescue the Princess and steal the gold I have to defeat the dragon. [[Let's do battle with him]]

After a terrible struggle involving many heroics and much trickery and deception, the dragon is defeated. But, sadly the boat is only large enough for either the princess or the gold but not both ...... [[Let's choose the gold. There are other princesses.]] [[Let's choose the princess. Money isn't everything.]]

I sail away across the sea and very happy I will be. I have the gold and it shall proove every care to remove. [[Sail, sail, away across the blue .. ]]

At long last I see land; my the next adventure is at hand. [[Let's find a pub and celebrate with beer and grub]]

Easy gold and an easy life go well together. But as my fortune dwindles I soon have a choice to make. [[I could put the gold into an mutual funds in an RRSP and live quietly by the beach.]] [[I could buy a ticket to Las Vegas, and refesh my fortune with Lady Luck, my true love.]]

We sail away across the sea and very happy we will be. We have our love and it will prove every sorrow to remove. [[Sail, sail, away across the blue ...]]

At long last we see the land; our next adventure is at hand. [[We'll get married, build a house with a white picket fence, and have lots of kids.]]

Disaster strikes ... The princess is discovered by paparazzi and flees our boring life for one of glamour and fame. [[Should I be broken hearted and sink into alcoholism and despair?]] [[Should I marry my childhood sweetheart?]]

Overcome with grief, I sink into an abyss of drink, darkness, self-hate and remorse. THE END

I marry my childhood sweetheart and resolve never again to have anything to do with dragons, princesses, or gold. THE END

This turns out to be the best option because princesses and gold are too much trouble. THE END

This turns out to be a BIG mistake, because now I owe "Four-fingered" Luigi a whole lot of money. [["Four-fingered" Luigi takes me to see the boss.]]

This doesn't go well either. As I sit waiting for my concrete boots to dry, I wish I had never got messed up with dragons, princesses or gold. THE END