I think what I found to be most interesting is how many essentialist ideologies and views get embedded in the gaming world along with the stereotypes attached to it. For example, the role of women continue to be passive and they are often not given primary roles; if given, they’re usually secondary or tertiary or used as background objects for the male gaze. I barely, if ever, paid attention to how these ideas and representations were portrayed in games, especially since most games I played had dominant male roles. Even within guild wars 2, the races that were not human still had many human-like characteristics especially when it came to gender. Even the classification of genders, male and female, excluded non-cisgender bodies which changes people’s experience in engaging with the game. I think it’s very important to have a sort of space that feels inclusive to all people of different genders. I do wonder how much of this is noticed by other gamers. I often feel like we’re all passive robotic beings when it comes to mainstream culture where we follow whatever is trending for the moment without really thinking about the why, the consequences and the impact that it has on marginalized people. I don’t know how much agency we really have in making decisions for ourselves and following certain concepts when mainstream media is so influential  in every aspect of our lives. Can we make an impact, if any, if essentialist views are constantly being perpetuated through many aspects of our culture? How can we go about starting such a change despite these barriers? These are questions I’m constantly asking and hoping to seek and find answers to throughout all domains and aspects of my life.

The debate on video game violence and its effects on youngsters is an ongoing one. Some swear by the detrimental effects of violence in games while others defend it. Whenever I think about this topic, I instantly think of Bandura’s Bobo doll experiment. As a psychology major, I’ve encountered this experiment numerous times. Bandura studied children’s behaviour and wanted to know the impact aggression would have on their behaviour. After conducting some experiments where adults were displayed to either play with the Bobo doll or act aggressively and violently, he associated the behaviour to his social learning theory. The theory essentially addresses how people can learn to model behaviour from others despite the presence or absence of rewards or punishments. His experiments are what I would say sparked an interest in children’s influence in association with violent games and media intake.

There have been studies done which have shown a correlation between aggression and violent video games. However, it is important to acknowledge that this is a correlational relationship and not a causal one. As each psychology student knows, and learns from the psych 100, correlation does not equal causation. There can be many factors that affect a child’s behaviour such as temperament, SES, family background etc. I personally believe that exposure to violent games acts as a desensitizer. The more one is exposed to a certain content, the more familiar one gets. Thus, the content becomes a norm and doesn’t elicit the same reaction, of perhaps fear or disgust, as it did during the first few times of exposure. If one is constantly exposing to killings, bomb blasts, fight scenes and overall violent content then this becomes normal for them.

When thinking about this topic, I often think about my reaction to horror movies. I no longer find them scary because I, as an avid gamer of COD, Modern Warfare, Dead or Alive, Final Fantasy, Mortal Kombat etc, have been conditioned. I obviously can only speak based on personal experience but I know many others who also have been conditioned to desensitization. I remember once having a conversation with a friend about The Walking Dead, he expressed his concern of the content. He wasn’t distressed by the blood, violence and the gore of the show, rather he found himself watching the news and seeing the war and the victims of war and feeling no sympathy or empathy. I remember trying to console him by stating that it didn’t mean he wasn’t capable of feeling sympathy or empathy but the content of the news was not something new to us. We were conditioned to such violence and thus became desensitized to all the blood and gore. He was disturbed because of what he was conditioned to see growing up to the point of acceptance because it wasn’t happening to him or people close to him.

During Guild Wars 2, I definitely engaged in many violent acts where I constantly bashed the head of the poor alligator-looking animals or the worms or the ‘enemy.’ If I were to see a worm of that size in real life, I think I’d most likely run instead of aim at its head first and continuously hit it. The fantasy world created by online and video games in general gives us a sense of heroism where violent acts are rewarded and seen as progression. The joy I feel when I kill one of those worms in the game is not something I could ever express in reality, yet I don’t stop. I am constantly being reinforced through rewards and level up’s to fight and kill those ‘things’ so I can reach the next stage.

Does this mean that violent video games alone could elicit violence? I personally don’t think so; I do however think it can be a factor. If a child has a violent environment or prone to violence in their temperament then exposure to violence will only enhance violent behaviour. Otherwise, desensitization of that violence becomes less and less distressing, almost to the point of acceptance.

Trying to get rid of trolls when playing any game is inevitable. One is bound to come face to face (rather screen to screen) with one annoyingly obnoxious troll. To be honest, while playing Guild Wars 2, I didn’t come across any trolls. I think I paid more attention to the tasks and missions than the chat box. However, I’m no stranger to trolls.

Years ago, I was playing Call of Duty on my Xbox 360 live. I was playing with the online players, who were mainly young boys. The live feature allows you to converse with teammates using the microphone on your headset so you can strategically plan each move and get as many kills while remaining alive. I generally didn’t participate, but on one occasion, I spoke out. I don’t remember what exactly I was discussing, but I assume it was about gameplay and positioning of each team member. After I finished (it took me less than a minute to go over the plan), there was a brief silence. Then one of the boys sarcastically asked, “Is that a girls voice I hear or have you not gone through puberty yet?” I didn’t know what to make of it… I guess I had assumed that there would be other females who were also playing the game live; but according to the response I received, it seemed none of them had participated in such an encounter. So I spoke back. Stating that I was indeed a girl playing. I could hear some saying things like ‘she must have just joined or traded places with someone else, ’cause she can’t actually be this good.’ Then one of the boys said, “hey, why don’t you go play with barbies… you know, something for girls. This is guys stuff, we don’t need you to play like a girl and make us lose.” I was fuming by this point. I wanted to scream over the mic and tell them that girls too could play and that it hadn’t been an issue up until the point it was detected that I was a female. I also wanted to use some harsh profanity and put them in their place… but I didn’t.

I did none of those. Instead, I simply stated that I’d continue playing like I previously had. I made sure they heard me well and said, “I guess we’ll see how much like a ‘girl’ I’ll play.'” I ended up getting the highest score to which the other boys cheered on but also ended up picking on the one who spoke out. Now he was the target. But what they said to him also irritated me. They basically told him that he got ‘schooled’ by a girl,’ followed by bursts of laughter. The boy, upset I assume, quit the game and logged off his livestream.

I often think about that moment along with victimhood as well as the transition between victimhood within gaming. I’m sure there are many worse cases out there of trolls who have gone above and beyond to make someones life miserable. Due to anonymity, people on the internet have more freedom to say obnoxious and vulgar things without thinking about the consequences. Had it been an in person scenario, I highly doubt such words would be stated.

I think stories are one of the most compelling and influential aspects of games. A story keep you engaged and alert; it allows you to step into another dimension and experience a world, a life, a being outside yourself. It’s through such stories within games that cause people to continuously work towards the next level and achieve higher statuses. Theses narratives not only give individuals more information, but they also provide an avenue to engage with one’s character. Such usage within online games is also crucial as it creates real meaningful online relationships between players. Not only is the story engaging a player to its plot but it also opens up opportunities for gamers to create a sense of community where they can discuss and express themselves within such a context.

During Guild Wars 2, I was specially fascinated with my avatars story (Sylvari) and realized that, for the most part, games begin with a dilemma which almost always acts like a cry for help. Something bad has happened, a wrong needs to be righted, someone needs saving – they all lead to the ultimate goal of the ‘happily ever after.’ I found myself reading into the script of the story; any chance I got to speak to the other avatars during a mission, I would do so. The one-to-one conversations were particularly interesting as they kept me updated and in-tuned to the plot. I felt this to be a  motivating factor to successfully complete the missions while attaining the drive to learn about the other possibilities and of a potential happy ending. As each level progressively developed, I was being fed more and more information on the condition of my surroundings and what I needed to do to help and save my people. 

Through such stories, I learned to be a better participant. Often times I would get lost or stray away but found that the stories would continue to get repeated. Some would say that’s annoying but I felt that it kept me engaged and on track to successfully achieve the next level.

While wandering around looking for new tasks to complete, I found myself to be very calm due to the soothing music that was playing in the background. As soon as a mission was nearby I found the music intensified which automatically made me excited. The graphics portrayed a very fantasy and fairytale land yet some elements like the trees or the details on the rocks were much more vivid and more representative of real life objects. I felt it had a very The Lord of the Rings vibe with its overall mythical setting.

As a gamer  from the world of console games, where all characters essentially look the same, I appreciated the differences in attire along with the unique avatars roaming around the area. The bright color’s kept me entertained!  I also found it interesting how the visuals changed based on a ‘good’ and ‘bad’ area. Throughout all forms of media from movies, games, music videos and so forth, the portrayal of a ‘bad’ has almost always been associated with dark and gloomy. If it’s a particular ‘bad’ area, then there is little to no room for wandering around. Often it is accompanied by odd objects or shadows that are meant to somewhat instil fear or discomfort to its audience. On the contrary, places associated with ‘goodness’ where hope is reinforced tend to be more bright and spacious.  the saying “the light at the end of the tunnel” encompasses this visual representation of good and bad where often people’s hopes are reinforced with the notion that after the dark times there will be light; representative of good times to come.

The ‘bad’ or ‘evil’ characters were also portrayed in dark attire with minimal facial recognition. At one point when I had to be disguised to enter another area to save captives, I wore an armoured suit which was dark and covered head to toe. I actually really liked the armour as I felt it didn’t sexualize the female Sylvari body by appropriating and objectifying my avatars assets.

Roaming around this ‘different’ environment, I found even the voices of the ‘bad’ people to be vile and almost demonic sounding. One could easily sense the diabolical tone and associate it to ‘bad.’ Whereas on my normal adventures, the encounters I had were much more pleasant and the voices were often high pitched. It’s not surprising that games follow popular culture’s definition of ‘good’ and ‘bad.’ Essentially, every plot consists of the good and bad guy and a heroic attempt to salvage remnants of society from such bad whether its from a bully or a dark lord trying to destroy one’s world.

Prior to Guild Wars 2, I had only ever played games on PlayStation and Xbox. While many of the games I played ran a similar course and dialogue (Halo, Modern Warfare, GTA, COD to name a few), I had little to no control over creating my character. For the most part, the characters were always set and one had to go along the storyline. Thus, when I had control over creating my avatar, it took me a lot longer than I expected.

At first, I was debating on whether I wanted an avatar that represented me. While reading a brief summary of the races, I felt perhaps human would fit the criteria. However, the array of choices prompted me to look further into one of the other races. Sylvari in particular stood out. They looked the most “human” but had special skills. I was initially drawn to them for their adventurous and quest-seeking side which I felt was more representative of myself. After selecting my race, I chose a female avatar and continued to contemplate whether I wanted to be a warrior, a guardian or a mesmer. I felt that I wanted my avatar to fight and protect their kind so I chose to be a guardian (their skilled weapon use and heavy armor was also an asset!).

As if there were not enough options, I then had to choose the nitty-gritty details of the appearance of my avatar. While deciding on the shape of her brow, width/length of her nose, and the fullness of her lips, I suddenly felt like she was no longer as unique as I had anticipated her to be. I was finding myself adding more volume to her lips, arching her brows, narrowing her face and trying to give her perfect proportions all the while making her more “human-like.” I had to actually pause for a few minutes and ponder on why I decided to go with Sylvari when I was only making my avatar look like the hypersexualized female “human.” After some tweaks, I felt she looked unique enough. While creating her, I had an image of an GOT character protecting the wall, hence the icy blue attire. I’m an avid GOT fan!

I decided to name her Aqeela Xanxar. Aqeela is a name often used in Asian and Middle Eastern culture. Aqeela is derived from Aql which means wise or one who is reasonable. Xanxar is apparently Albanian for untamed or wild. Thus, my avatar is a wild, wise and untamable Sylvari guardian! I felt the name in particular to be more representative of my personality as I’d like to think I’m quite the reasonable person but also an untamed free spirit!