So I’m at home working, and two of my sons are online playing Minecraft on computers in different rooms. Suddenly, one of them slams down his headphones, yells down the hall at his brother and stomps off into his own room slamming the door. I go upstairs to find out what all the noise is about. Through the door, he tells me that his brother pushed him in the lava. I’m like, “Excuse me. Come again.”
“He pushed me in the lava!” he yells back.
I turn around and walk down the hall to confront his brother. “You want to explain to me what happened here?” I ask.
“No.”
“Did you push your brother in the lava?”
“Yes.”
“Well, you are not allowed to push your brother in the lava in this world or the virtual world! Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
At this point, I am trying so hard not to laugh. “Do NOT let it happen again. Seriously, I can not believe that we are having this conversation. Where are your manners?”
Virtual environments and other online sandboxes afford a player the opportunity to interact with others–sometimes in ways that they would never consider in the real world. (See example above.) However, virtual worlds also allow players to experiment in different environments and scenarios. James Burling, a graduate student at UMW, used Minecraft to teach performing literacies during a summer reading program. Participants “utilize the video game Minecraft to recreate elements, activities and stories from the Summer Reading Program,” thus, becoming the character or inhabiting the world of their favorite books.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Z8UwXOPE8w
In another example of library-based gaming , Mr. Jarrett at NCS runs an after school program where he “creates a learner-centered, student-guided experience in which kids in grades 1-8 can play, collaborate, teach and inspire each other” using Minecraft and MinecraftEDU . Reflecting on his experiences, he wrote, “We spent a lot of time making sure kids were ‘playing nice’.”
Hey, manners matter in this world and the virtual world. No matter where you play– remember..No pushing!
Read More:
How Second Life Affects Real Life from Time magazine
Eastwick, P., Gardner, W.. Is it a game? Evidence for social influence in the virtual world . Social Influence. 2009;4(1):18-32.
Journal of Virtual Worlds Research
Pace, T., Bardzell, S., and Bardzell, J.. The rogue in the lovely black dress: intimacy in world of warcraft. Computer Human Interaction, 2010, 233-242.
Young, G., and Whitty, M.. How Should We Judge Deviant Behaviors on Virtual Worlds? A review of Transcending Taboos: A Moral and Psychological Examination of Cyberspace, New York, NY: Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group, 2012.
Using virtual environments to reinforce real life manners is an interesting concept to me, and one I think can definitely be promoted in more library and after school programming. Kids these days navigate the online world with an easy that simply doesn’t come as naturally to those of us that are older, but I worry that they will lose the ability to interact successfully in person. It can be easy for unmonitored children to be rude and/or inappropriate online, because they have no one to tell them otherwise (unlike your sons!).
Even though the temptation is strong to pretend to be someone or something else in virtual environments, I think that it’s important for adults and teens to remember that they are still responsible for their actions. Anonymity sometimes brings out the dark side in people, and I think that is one reason cyberbullying can be a problem in social media use; people do and say things that they would not do and say in real life in face-to-face situations. While experimentation is an important characteristic of virtual environments, I think that fidelity and integrity should not be abandoned.
I chuckled when I read about your son’s online fight. Yet you’re right to instill manners and nonviolence in all platforms. We’re learning as we go with our new tools and media. I still don’t think we’ve figured out as a society what appropriate cell phone etiquette is. (Why would you call someone while using the toilet?)
I’m in agreement with Gretchen regarding fidelity and integrity. We want these traits to be second nature not something we can discard online.
Cell phones in the bathroom? Worst thing ever. Especially when somebody is just hanging out in a public washroom chatting on their phone, and you can hear them say, “Oh yeah, I’m just in the bathroom, yeah, somebody just flushed.” Ugh.
That said, I have to say I agree with both you and Gretchen – I have always thought of the online world as an extension of the offline. Manners matter just as much online, and if you can’t say something nice, say nothing at all 🙂
Call me old fashion, but I think that the Golden Rule should apply in this world and the virtual world.