Fragments of conversation drift lazily past my ears as the bus rolls steadily along Broadway. “Did you see my Facebook status? 26 likes!” “I worked 50 hours this week.” “This jacket? 85 bucks.” The ebb and flow of words lap softly against my cheeks. A tide teeming with numbers and quantifiers – how strange it is that we choose to measure our lives in abstractions. As I glance haphazardly at my phone to check the time, I realize that I myself am a slave to symbols, and I ponder whether there are more fulfilling ways to evaluate the moments that make up our days. Unfortunately, the bus pulls into my stop before I can come up with any sort of satisfactory answer. I exit the tangle of human arms and legs as hastily as I can and make my way toward the Headway center.
I glance through the open doorway of the computer room and am greeted with a toothy grin that spreads slowly under a crown of lemon-hued hair. “Are you my buddy?” I inquire of the young man sitting in front of me who has since turned back to his game of Solitaire. He spins around in his creaky chair and holds my gaze. “Ya. I guess I can give you the tour.” We work our way methodically around the small space and I take note of the pride he attaches to the paintings that line the back wall and the obvious enthusiasm he radiates when he affirms that they have Netflix. As we arrive at the most popular attraction (the kitchen of course) a vibrant Hawaiian shirt steps into my path. Without prompt or ample warning, I find myself in the midst of a complex handshake that I desperately attempt to fake my way through. A curt nod and narrow smile indicate I have passed this entrance exam, relieved, I flop into the nearest chair and wait eagerly for breakfast to be served.
The rest of my visit at Headway was filled with delightful conversation, pancakes, and a heated debate over whether it was Eddie Murphy or Will Smith who played the donkey in “Shrek” (note: it was Eddie Murphy). Centers like Headway are important institutions for people recovering from a traumatic brain injury (TBI). They foster a sense of community, safety, and a chance to build a support network that otherwise may be lacking. It’s essential to keep in mind that the symptoms of TBI are heterogeneous, not always obvious, and do not define the intellectual and emotional capabilities of the survivor. I believe the greatest benefit of my visit was simply providing fresh ears and a novel laugh to soak up the stories and jokes of the members. As for me, I finally came up with an answer to my earlier query – how best to calibrate the value of moments if not in numbers? I learned to measure my day by the taste of pancakes, the intricacy of secret handshakes, and the simplicity of smiles.
A short video highlighting the importance of community during TBI recovery.
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