In this section, we will introduce you to what we believe are some important factors for you to consider throughout the process of getting to know yourself and your potential partners. First, let’s briefly discuss attachment styles, which we will go into in more detail in another section (For Your Interest) if you want to know more. Then we will discuss personality traits.
Attachment Styles 
Attachment styles refer to the intensity or absence of intimacy avoidance and abandonment anxiety with which individuals approach relationships. Accordingly, their are four extreme positions on this four dimensional spectrum. Relationship scientists have found that people with the same attachment style are more likely to have a happier and more enduring relationship (Miller 2018). Partners with different attachment styles, unfortunately, are more subject to misunderstandings and conflicts aroused by each other’s words and behaviors. But even so, having a different attachment style than your partner need not mean that you are entirely incompatible. If this is the case, be sure to know how to determine their attachment style in order to have some insight into what their needs are, and to communicate your own attachment needs to see how they react. Knowing each other’s contrasting needs, you can negotiate a balance and cultivate a willingness to temper unrealistic expectations. For more on how determine your partners attachment style and manage related challenges, see the section under “For Your Interest” called “Keys to a Happy and Satisfied Long-Term Relationship”.
Personality Traits
Personality traits are habitual patterns of behavior that we all have. One of the most important traits to look for, as well as to cultivate, according to relationship scientists, is mindfulness. Researchers have found that the trait of mindfulness elevates the level of satisfaction in a romantic relationship and lowers emotional stress responses. This trait is also associated with positive pre and post-conflict changes in perception of the relationship (Barnes 2007).
Another study demonstrated that partners with similar communication values were more attracted to one another and more satisfied with their relationship. In particular, similarities in the value placed on effectively oriented forms of communication such as ego support, comforting, and conflict management were significantly correlated with mutual partner attraction and relationship satisfaction. They also found that couples’ communication values did not become more similar over time as a function of the length of the dating relationship (Burleson 1994). For this reason, we recommend making the effort early on to find someone with similar communication values in order to avoid perpetual conflict and ensure smooth sailing.
References:
Barnes, S., Brown, K. W., Krusemark, E., Campbell, W. K., & Rogge, R. D. (2007). The role of mindfulness in romantic relationship satisfaction and responses to relationship stress. Journal of marital and family therapy, 33(4), 482-500.
Burleson, B. R., Kunkel, A. W., & Birch, J. D. (1994). Thoughts about talk in romantic relationships: Similarity makes for attraction (and happiness, too). Communication Quarterly, 42(3), 259-273.
Miller, Rowland S. (2018). Intimate Relationships Eighth Edition. New York: McGraw-Hill Education.