Revised Peer Review of a Formal Report

To: Dhara, English 301 Student Writer

From: Christine, English 301 Student Reviewer

Date: March 18^th, 2022

Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Draft: Feasible Solutions for a Successful Paperless Transition in CPSC 121

Thank you for submitting this formal report draft analyzing feasible solutions for a successful paperless transition in CPSC 121. You have done an excellent job in providing a basic structure of the formal report and detailed ideas pinpointing the possibility of improving the current situation in CPSC 121 based on the survey you have collected among the students in CPSC 121. Following are some suggestions for further improving the formal report draft.

First impression:

 A significant strength of this formal report draft is how well it tackles the information, especially the interpretation of survey data. In particular, a great job in recognizing that it is difficult to tackle a better test format for the student in CPSC121 especially when the distribution of favouring the exam format is wide-ranged.

Organization:  

The formal report is well organized with the headings and subheadings bolded as well as appropriately titled.

Style 

• The objective and positive tone throughout the first formal report draft.
• Few paragraphs in the introduction are difficult to follow since those paragraphs are not concise and direct enough (“see Introduction”).

Title and title page:

The draft formal report of feasible solutions for a successful paperless transition in CPSC 121 includes a clear title that encompasses the entire focus of the report, audiences, author, and the distribution date of the report. Well done!

Table Content & Figure and Tables:

The table content is well organized, which helps visualize the report’s structure. The figures and tables section helps locate the image in the formal report. Great job!

Introduction:

The introduction is well outlined with bolded subheadings that include background on the complexities of the current paperless transition, background on CPSC 121, purpose and proposed solution, and a brief description of data sources (see more comments on this below).

• One suggestion for the purpose and proposed solution section is to clearly state the purpose of this formal report so the audience can clearly know what the takeaway from this report is.
• Considering reorganizing the content introduction to make the report more concise and easier to read since some content overlaps (see the example outline on this below)
  • Introduction
    • Background
      • Background of the CPSC121 course with an explanation of what STEM course is.
      • Explain the current situation about the transition to an online course in CPSC 121 that caused the problem.
    • Identify the problem
      • What is the problem?
      • How does that impact the students?
    • Propose feasible solution
    • A clearer Purpose statement of this formal report

 

Data Section:

The data section includes findings and interpretation from the survey among CPSC 121 students as well as some visuals retrieved from the survey that reinforces the content. This section clearly supports the problem stated in the introduction and the possible feasible solution.

• One suggestion is to provide the pros and cons of the possible solution support with data (primary or secondary) to present the cost and effect to the University of British Columbia and CPSC 121 course coordinator to help them evaluate feasibility.
• Addressing the limitation of the data sources at the end of the data section

Conclusion:

This section clearly summarizes the data findings and overall interpretation explains what the findings mean and follows with recommendations for the audience.

• One suggestion is briefly stating the purposed and the problem again in this section to remind your audiences.

Grammar and Technical Errors:

Please refer to the following regarding minor grammatical errors:

Introduction:

• Replace “unequivocal” with “certain” in the sentence “Though the transition has come with unequivocal benefits, …”
• Remove the “though” in the sentence “Though this transition is also …” for conciseness.
• Remove the phrase “As well” I the sentence “As well, many students find transferring…” for conciseness
• Change “penalised” to “penalized” in the sentence “However, they are not penalised as harshly if they struggle to adjust.”

Data section:

• Most Common Student Benefits
  • “student” should be plural in the second sentence.
    • “The data in figure 4 identifies students’ responses about the main benefits they find applicable to their experience of online CPSC 121 midterms.”

Revision:  

Please note the suggested revisions in this review that will improve the quality of your formal report:

• Clearly state the purpose and problem in the introduction
• Considering re-organizing the structure of the introduction
• Providing pros and cons of possible solutions (secondary data source may be needed)
• Addressing the limitation of the primary data sources
• Correcting grammar.

Overall, this is a great formal report draft that could possibly help the students in CPSC 121 to have a better exam experience during the transition time to online learning. I hope these suggestions are helpful for the revision process. If you have any questions or further clarification, please don’t hesitate to contact me at lovepassionlife0618@gmail.com. Thank you for your hard work, well done!

Feasible Solution For a Successful Paperless Transition in CPSC 121