A peer review for my writing partner’s Formal Proposal Draft is presented as one of my best reviews. \u00a0I created a template with heading to organize my ideas and present my critiques in a nice and concise manner. This assignment was completed in Unit 3.<\/p>\n
__________________________________________________________________________<\/p>\n
Name of the Reviewer:<\/b> Huy Nguyen (H.N.)<\/p>\n
Author\u2019s Name:<\/b> Jansen Lee<\/p>\n
Date:<\/b> March 14th 2016<\/p>\n
Subject:<\/b> Peer Review of Formal Proposal Draft<\/p>\n
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I have reviewed the first draft of your Proposal for \u201cIncreasing Efficiency at P&A Pharmacy\u201d. \u00a0You have created a comprehensive report exploring the possible ways to increase the operational efficiency of P&A. \u00a0Please take into consideration the suggestions\u00a0provided to reinforce your proposal.<\/p>\n
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Initial Impression<\/b><\/p>\n
When\u00a0reading the report the first time, the ideas you produced follows a logical flow, naturally leading to your conclusion. \u00a0The table of contents is organized well and each category is nicely labeled with headings and subheadings. \u00a0You have demonstrated your understanding with the efficiency operation of P&A\u00a0and have the background knowledge necessary to improve its productivity with this proposed venture. \u00a0There appears to be a few missing elements from this report, but with it being a draft report,\u00a0there will be some\u00a0topics which will\u00a0require further development,.<\/p>\n
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Elements of the Report<\/b><\/p>\n
The title page, table of contents, introduction, body and conclusion are\u00a0included in your\u00a0report, with two elements missing: the diagrams and the recommendations.\u00a0 Visuals are important in helping readers better understand the ideas\u00a0being conveyed\u00a0and the recommendations are placed to reinforce\u00a0the ideas plan of action to\u00a0the audience. \u00a0Incorporating these two elements will bring together\u00a0the paper and provide\u00a0the audience an understanding of what\u00a0the proposal\u00a0is trying to accomplish.<\/p>\n
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Background, Significance and Definition<\/b><\/p>\n
The company\u00a0and the\u00a0purpose of the report are clearly stated in the \u201cBackground\u201d and the \u201cPurpose of Report and Intended Audience\u201d section. \u00a0This section is somewhat vague and doesn\u2019t explain specifically what the plan is in order\u00a0to increase the operational efficiency.\u00a0\u00a0Utilize the ideas\u00a0mentioned in your\u00a0conclusion earlier in the paper,\u00a0such as the\u00a0new label printing system, so that the audience can understand the idea right away. \u00a0You did an excellent job in describing your measure of \u201coperational efficiency\u201d and allowing the reader to understand how the equation relates to increasing functional efficiency. \u00a0The definition flows well into the next section of the report.<\/p>\n
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Research and Method Design<\/b><\/p>\n
The description of the data collection method and its limitations are well labeled in the document.\u00a0\u00a0Recognizing that\u00a0there are limitations to any method of this study and addressing the issues with them is great in maintaining objectivity.\u00a0\u00a0There is no diagram in this section however, which makes it difficult to understand the data mentioned in this section. Visuals will go a long way in getting ideas across people.\u00a0Even though there are numerous equations provided for data presentation, it would be\u00a0better to explain the outcome of the data using graphics and captions. As mentioned in the course, \u00a0keep in mind that the reader doesn\u2019t have much time, so the important part of the data should be discussed more so than the process. Therefore, using graphs and visuals will better summarize the data. \u00a0I would also recommend citing some of the online articles from where you gathered the information on the \u201cTechniques to Improve Operational Efficiency\u201d and expand on the idea relating it to your proposal. \u00a0This will provide a better background for your audience and give more insight to understand why you are researching this.<\/p>\n
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Implications of Data and Concluding Section<\/b><\/p>\n
Further\u00a0elaboration can be done\u00a0on the conclusion and the discussion implementing recommendations in light of your data analysis.\u00a0\u00a0The summary only states the results of the data leading to higher operational efficiency and doesn\u2019t discuss what they entail and how it affects the company. \u00a0I suggest thinking about some of these questions when coming up with your conclusion and recommendations:<\/p>\n
You should also re-organize and summarize the body of your report by summing up the following:<\/p>\n
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Organization and Writing Style<\/b><\/p>\n
The document is logically organized and the sequence for each topic is clear. Using headings and subheadings throughout the document makes it easier for the reading to find the information and discern each\u00a0topics. \u00a0The writing style needs some editing and revisions in order to give the report a more clear and concise tone.<\/p>\n
Here are some areas to look at with respect to these revisions:<\/p>\n
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Final Impression<\/b><\/p>\n
You have created a very organized draft in your \u201cProposal for Increasing Efficiency at P&A Pharmacy\u201d. \u00a0The ideas and concepts are methodically described and your proposed objective can benefit the company of P&A in increasing their efficiency. \u00a0I recommend an extensive review of your draft proposal with the focus on providing detailed, yet concise information as you formulated your final report. Even though\u00a0the\u00a0report is organized\u00a0in a well thought out manner, the revision of the content will strengthen the quality of\u00a0the final report. \u00a0Please take into consideration my recommendation as you re-examine your report. \u00a0Please contact me if you have any questions with my review, I will be happy to assist you if you require further clarification.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A peer review for my writing partner’s Formal Proposal Draft is presented as one of my best reviews. \u00a0I created a template with heading to organize my ideas and present my critiques in a nice and concise manner. This assignment … Continue reading