When race and romance collide

I set out to find Asian male-white female couples who would tell their stories, to put a face and a voice to those Asian men and white women who were not following the mainstream trend, so to speak.

It wasn’t easy. From running up to random couples on the street to using Twitter, Facebook and my network of friends to find them, about half of the couples I reached out to did not respond to me. The ones that did chose to remain mostly anonymous.

I interviewed eight couples, with ages ranging from early twenties to early forties. Those in their twenties and early thirties articulated on issues of race, discrimination, and stereotypes with little reservation. They noticed reactions from friends, family members, and even strangers.

Couples in their mid-to-late-thirties or early forties said that they did not think about race, that it doesn’t matter, and they do not notice any strong reactions to their relationships.

Norm, now in his early forties, grew up in East Vancouver emphasized several times during the interview that he never gave the notion of “race” or “interracial” much thought. Lori and Davy, a couple in their mid-to-late thirties who recently moved to Abbotsford from Manitoba, said they have never received negative reaction to their relationship.

To put this into historical context, the government of Canada passed the Canadian Multiculturalism Act in 1988, a time in which many of these couples would be young adults. Interestingly, Sarah and Felix grew up in Sweden and China (respectively) in the 70s, and they, too, said they received little negative reaction from friends and family.

Almost all the couples I interviewed agreed that the Asian male-white female coupling is rare.

In my audio slideshow, I compiled the stories of two Asian male-white female couples and three half-couples (two Asian men and one white woman whose partners chose not to participate or are not included). I also consulted Alden Habacon and Testuro Shigematsu, both prominent figures in Canadian media, to share their insights.

The couples I interviewed emphasized that they are most conscious about their race when other people react to their relationship. These reactions come from friends, family, and even complete strangers.

Their stories offer surprising insights into the ways that race still matters when we discuss relationships.