“My insides don’t match up with my outsides.”

Absence.

For the past two weeks, our ASTU class has focused on Jonathan Safran Foer’s Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. This novel illustrates the theme of absence through personal loss and trauma from three different perspectives. Oskar Schell attempts to come to peace with the recent death of his dad and his grandparents as well, walk down memory lane and reminisce, triggered by the tragedy of 9/11 and the loss of their son.

To quickly introduce my point of view, I read this novel during winter break as I wanted a good read to destress, rather than going to the gym (oops). In “winter break mode” my thoughts initially wandered to security, loved ones, and a 2011 Richmond plane crash (though it was more-so a dysfunction of the craft). And the moment I delved into it, I knew it would become one of my favourite reads. Personally, I believe it was the first chapter that grasped my attention when Oskar’s dad attempted to reach them on the phone, because I felt I could easily relate. In my bed, I remember going over what I presently ensure of when I send off family and friends; I make sure they call or text me once they’ve landed so I know that they’re alive and safe. These little connections I made throughout the novel were one thing, but the different relationships and the mysteries each held really made me sit back in awe and appreciate Foer’s book.

What especially interested me was the similarities and differences between Oskar’s loss and Thomas Sr.’s loss and how the trauma ultimately affected them. I believe that from a child’s point of view, readers open themselves to a world of optimism, of hopes and dreams, despite all of the suffering. From this young perspective, child protagonists tell their own story and make sure to emphasize this fact because it’s essentially the only story they know how to tell. They’re still learning about the world they live in because they’re still growing up. With stories such as Foer’s novel that feature child narrators, I make the interpretation that traumatic events they experience are being experienced for the first time. I feel their open-mindedness stems from the fact that it’s a new encounter; they don’t know how to properly express themselves and willingly extrude out anything they feel.

When I read this novel, I received the impression that Oskar’s character was incredibly open in expressing himself. He strived to make sure everyone he encountered knew that losing his dad was his loss and that this was his story. He openly claimed to bruise himself, he talked about his inventions he made in his mind as well as made aggressively cynical comments about people he encountered on his journey. He had so much to say, as well as so many emotions, that I feel he used his voice to face personal loss and trauma. His voice was his coping mechanism and the fact that there was so much to express relayed to me that personal loss can’t be clearly defined; it’s all over the place, scattered and confusing.

Thomas Sr. was a closed book in the eyes of Oskar’s Grandma and the people that approached him throughout the novel. He portrays trauma and personal loss as silence, as something that can’t be spoken about again. But his voice was also his means of coping with his two losses (Anna and Thomas Jr.). Instead of speaking up, he thought out loud. He used his hands, gestures, expressions and writing to convey his unspoken words. In contrast with his grandson, Thomas Sr. had more life experience and through his letters I perceived him as slightly more conservative, even on paper. He carefully chose what he wanted to write down, as well as hesitated when holding conversations with various characters. In this sense, the irony of remaining silent but still writing down thoughts, makes a contribution towards illustrating personal loss. From Thomas Sr’s point of view, it is also a chaotic mess.

Though they both face personal loss, Oskar and his grandfather still stand apart in differences. They cope in completely different ways and in a sense, it elevates the theme of absence. Oskar’s youthfulness and optimism displays the extent to which he suffers – in my perspective, he still wishes for the best in the world, to look for and hang onto memories, and fill the void he’s burdened with. Thomas Sr’s walk down memory lane illustrates another perspective as he thinks about both the Bombings in Dresden and 9/11. When I relate these two characters, I get a heightened feeling of loss myself, I find myself empathizing for these characters. These two combined show me what personal loss is, even if I feel like I’ve experienced it myself with the absence of family members and a few pretty great friends. This novel reinforces the universal tragedy that is personal loss. After rambling on, I find myself believing that Foer disregards American exceptionalism through these different but effective, point of views. Foer integrates perspectives of loss through 9/11 and the Bombings in Dresden, as well as more flat characters’ stories. So does this mean that this novel is attempting to show readers a post 9/11 era? The idea that we’re all in this together and that no one is alone or stands superior? As I think we once discussed? Just something interesting to note to conclude my blog post.

Have a great weekend 🙂
KYLO