To: Avani Dhunna, ENGL 301 Student Writer
From: Jieun Kim, ENGL 301 Student Reviewer
Data: July 21, 2021
Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report (Draft): Feasibility Analysis of Enhancing Student Participation in UBC’s Undergraduate Literary Journal, The Garden Statuary
Dear Avani,
Your formal report draft, “Feasibility Analysis of Enhancing Student Participation in UBC’s Undergraduate Literary Journal, The Garden Statuary” is very informative. I enjoyed reading it and learned a lot about the effort of The Garden Statuary to create a better system to interact with students in the online environment. I think it would be very beneficial not only for other institutions but also for The Garden Statuary to refer to the research suggestions based on the survey results to maximize the effects of the means of student engagement in the online environment. I have some comments which I believe will strengthen your report.
First Impression
This report has an effective design that includes headings and sub-headings as well as appropriate use of visualizations. There are adequate explanations for the background of the research and analysis of survey results.
Content
- Table of Contents:
The table of content is well-formatted and gives an excellent summary of the report. - Introduction:
The introduction with strong supporting ideas and references is very compelling. It provides excellent reasoning for the need for this study.
– Splitting the introduction paragraph into separate topics such as background, What The Garden Statuary is/its role, what action needs to be taken by The Garden Statuary for better student engagement will help improve readability. - Data Section:
The graphics provide readers a quick summary of the survey results, and each section includes a great analysis of the statistics. - Conclusion:
It successfully demonstrates the survey results and overall interpretations of the findings. It clearly suggests feasible recommendations for the research concern regarding student engagement in the online situation in various prospective.
– There is an unfinished sentence included at the end of the section. - References:
This report documented all information sources and correctly cited references as requested. - Survey:
The survey questions are not included.
– Adding the survey questions as an appendix will be beneficial for readers to get a better comprehension of the report.
Organization
Using indentation will improve readability and create a better separation between paragraphs.
Headings and subheadings might need different formatting for better separations between each section to enhance the organization of the document.
Style
The tone is clear and professional throughout the report, as well as objective and positive.
Design
Great and appropriate use of figures! This report uses effective visualizations to help readers understand each figure at a glance. The graphics are correctly labeled, and the content is concisely described.
There might need more spacing between each figure and the body paragraph for better readability.
Grammar and Technical Errors
It is well written with no critical issues. It has just a few minor typos.
– “a space to conveniently ask questitons and,” pp. 5 => a space to conveniently ask questions
– “incorporating these event,” pp. 13 => incorporating these events
– unfinished sentence – “may benefit even … by collaborating with,” pp. 14
Overall, your draft version of the formal report is arguably well written and well organized. I am looking forward to reading the final version of the formal report. I hope my comments above are helpful as you complete this project. Please do not hesitate to contact me if anything is unclear regarding my suggestions.
Link to Avani’s Formal Report Draft: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-98a-2021sa/2021/07/14/301-avani-dhunna-formal-report-draft/