Assignment 1:3 – Revised Peer Review for Ryan’s Three Definitions for HACCP

To: Ryan Tso, AJAR

From: Jieun Kim, AJAR

Date: June 4, 2021

Subject: Review of your post on the three definitions of HCCAP (Hazard Analysis and Critical Control Points)

Report Link: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-98a-2021sa/2021/06/01/ryan-tso-assignment-1-3/

 

I have reviewed your report for assignment 1:3, the three definitions of HCCAP. Thank you for your excellent work. I enjoyed reading your report; this is well-formed and meets all criteria of the requirements. Please see my review below. I would like to offer a few suggestions to make your work even more strength.

 

Voice:

The tone is professional, polite, and clear.

 

Organization:

  • Your report has an effective design that includes underlined headings and a numbered list.
  • Bolding or numbering headings will give better separation between the sections, which will enhance the organization of the document.
  • Adding an explanation of each term, for instance, what H stands for in a practical situation in the HACCP heading, will give readers a better understanding of the 7 principles of HACCP.

 

Research/References:

  • You documented all information sources and correctly cited three references as requested.
  • The source includes reliable, professional organizations providing more details to readers who want to dive into more profound knowledge about HACCP.

 

Visuals:

The images provide readers a quick summary of the document at a glance before they read this document thoroughly. However, visuals need to have a title and number. Please refer to the Textbook, p. 241.

 

Grammar and Typos:

Overall, it is well written. It has just a few minor errors.

  • in HACCP :
    • 1960’s -> 1960s
    • the health of the astronauts were paramount to the mission. -> the health of the astronauts was paramount to the mission.

 

Overall:

The document meets all the requirements of the assignment. You have presented your understanding of the difference between the levels of details in definition by selecting the right level of detail in each definition level. Your document is appropriate for the situation you choose and provides enough information to be informative material to train new staff in the foodservice industry. The below is a bullet list of the suggested edits for quick reference.

 

  • Considering including a detailed description of the acronym of HACCP in the first paragraph of the Expanded Definition section.
  • Considering bolding or numbering headings for better separations between each section.
  • Reviewing the textbook (p. 241) on titles and numbering of visualization

 

I hope my recommendations are helpful as you complete this project. Please let me know if you have any questions regarding my suggestions.