I kind of like this book, since it looks interesting. And each chapter is relatively short so it is easier to read. But on the other hand, I feel like this book is a little bit confusing when I am reading it, since it seems to me a little bit fragmented and does not follow a traditional linear narrative,
I like how it said on chapter 14, “It’s the same with clothes, the same with gender, it depends on my mood or the situation.(pp.63)”, which gives me a sense that our gender is not definable, and “For me, homosexuality isn’t about who I’m fucking, it’s about who I become. (pp.29)” in this sentence, we can see that the self identity is not that confined. Also, she is suggesting this is a process rather than a simple identity.
In the text, “Women, love, sex […] It’s all still there […] but it’s not important, like the décor of a room […](pp.29-30)”, her life seems to be constantly surrounded with lovers, routines, and physical experiences, while these elements do not alleviate her inner isolation; instead, they seem to conceal a deeper sense of emptiness. And I think by this contrast, her loneliness seems deeper in this sense.
In this sense, the intimacy is stripped of its meaning, becoming superficial and easily replaceable, rather than a source of genuine emotional connection, but like a decor in a room, you can see it everyday but never can feel its realness to your life.
The loss of her son produces an irreplaceable emotional void, as no other relationship is able to replace the bond between mother and child. Hence makes her life feel so empty, as she meets different women every day, yet they leave the next day, suggesting that she is constantly experiencing other people’s leaving.
So I think she is not truly free (even though she seems wants to have some new senses of adventure and freedom), but rather, she is exhausting herself in order to sustain the appearance of freedom. in her life, she is hoping that she could get rid of the social expectation, but she ends up being more empty. Also, her freedom seems more exhausted than she thought, the repetition of meeting new people doesn’t make her freedom true, but makes it lose its connection, and he movement does not equal to the progress. It makes me think, it does not look like a life but a repeated movements.
3 replies on “Love Me Tender :/”
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This was a pretty interesting read, I think that added a layer to how I saw this book as well. I think repetition is kind of the underlying theme, it’s doesn’t seem intentionally pushed in your face as much as the overarching themes of sexuality and womanhood are, but it’s there and it’s clear how it presents itself in the narrator’s life.
She consistently mentions how tired or exhausted she is, and it always comes back to the women she’s sleeping with and her son. It keeps coming back, even as she breaks out of the traditional frame of expectations put on a woman’s–especially a mother’s–behaviour by a patriarchal society–or really any society who intentionally limits a group by maintaining another one in power.
I really like your observation that she is “exhausting herself in order to sustain the appearance of freedom”. It makes me sympathize with her way more than I did when I started the novel, because it gives me a more clear definition of the intentions behind her shockingly explicit recounting of her sexual encounters.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
I get what you mean about it feeling fragmented, and I think how you connect that to her shifting identity is insightful. Also your point about her “freedom” actually being exhausting rather than liberating is interesting, especially how everything just starts to feel repetitive instead of meaningful.