1. How does the text deviate from conventions of written English?
- The structure is informal, with run-on sentences, filler words (“like,” “so,” “okay”), and interjections (“you know?”)
- There’s a lot of repetition and pauses, which you wouldn’t normally see in written storytelling
- Some sentences are incomplete or trail off (“And then—he waves at me.”)
- There are contractions and casual phrasing (“I’m done.”)
2. What is “wrong” in the text? What is “right”?
Wrong
- It doesn’t follow any grammar or punctuation rules
- The sentence structure is missing, presenting as one long run-on sentences
- It has lots of informal expressions that wouldn’t typically appear in polished writing without punctuation
Right
- It’s engaging and natural, capturing the rhythm of how people actually speak
- It builds suspense in a way that works well for an oral story
- The use of first-person narration and direct address (“you know?”) makes it feel personal and immersive
- What are the most common “mistakes” in the text and why do you consider them “mistakes”?
- The biggest “mistake” is the lack of structured sentences—it jumps from one thought to the next without clear transitions
- Overuse of filler words and informal phrasing makes it sound unpolished in written form
- The pacing works for oral storytelling, but written storytelling typically needs clearer scene transitions and fewer abrupt shifts
- What if you had “scripted” the story? What difference might that have made?
- The sentences would be structured, with punctuation, fewer fillers and more precise descriptions
- The pacing would likely be more deliberate, with clearer paragraph breaks to separate moments of tension
- There would be a more formal introduction and conclusion rather than just diving in and trailing off
- Some of the dialogue-like elements (“And then—he waves at me.”) might be adjusted to read more smoothly
- In what ways does oral storytelling differ from written storytelling?
- Oral storytelling relies on voice inflection, pauses, body language, and emphasis to create suspense or emotion
- It often includes more informal language and direct audience engagement
- Written storytelling needs to replace vocal cues with descriptive language and structured pacing
- Oral stories can have tangents and improvisation, while written stories are usually more refined and edited for clarity