What is a middle school? What kind of atmosphere does it have? How does it function? How is it different from an elementary or high school? My mind swirled with questions as I stepped foot into a middle school for the first time. I couldn’t help but wonder if media portrayals of middle schools–which I always dismissed as overdramatized and unreal–would somehow be manifested in the place I was about to visit.
Growing up in system that did not have middle schools, the term remains a foreign concept to me, and I struggle to get a sense of what life in middle school could be like. To my relief, the school that I visited did not scream of all the middle school conventions that I’d seen on TV and in books–however that’s not to say there were not less dramatic suggestions of those conventions that I did not notice in the few hours I was at the school. Nevertheless, my first day of practicum went rather well and I enjoyed my visit.
Throughout the day, I observed a wide range of classes at the school; two french classes, two science, one math, one gym, and a variety of “exploration” (fine arts and applied skills) classes, to be exact. I was able to observe the full range of grades within the school and learn from teachers with a variety of different qualifications. One thing that I particularly liked about this school was that it has a gifted learners program–the Multi-Age Cluster Class (MACC). I am familiar with the program, however I did not know that the school I visited offered it–hence it was a pleasant surprise.
Although I did not intend to focus on gifted learners, I unconsciously spent much of the day comparing MACC classes that I visited to non-MACC classes. While the MACC teachers understandably voiced their opinions that MACC students were more autonomous and motivated than non-MACC students, by the end of the day I had many questions as to whether their opinions were “right” or not. Are children in the gifted program really “gifted”? Are any of the MACC children part of it simply because of parental pressure? What makes a “gifted” child? Most importantly, I wonder; how do non-MACC students feel going to school thinking that they are “not gifted”? Do they resent the MACC students? Are they ambiguous? Does the awareness that they are not part of the “elite” hurt their self-esteem?
As a child, I went through several “gifted” programs–and I do think I benefitted greatly from them. However, at times in those programs and in university when I studied psychology I sometimes wondered whether the distinctions between “gifted” and “regular” were as clear-cut as proponents for gifted programs suggest. A large body of research has proven that if children have a fixed mindset (entity theory) that some people are born “gifted” and others are not, they will not be motivated to work as hard as those who believe that talent comes through effort (incremental theory). Having participated in these gifted programs, I have never really considered what it would be like to draw the short stick of social comparison (not being part of a gifted program that exists in my school), and hence I never considered what those students would be feeling. If I am fortunate enough to be placed in this school, I think that I would benefit greatly from the chance to explore my questions about gifted programs in-person.
Since the school visit was merely a viewing of classes, I was not expected to participate in the classroom lessons. Unexpectedly, within the first ten minutes of observing my first class, I found that not being given tasks to be involved in the classroom was probably more stressful than if I had been given tasks to participate in. Feeling uncomfortable merely sitting and observing the classroom, I took to pacing around the room, as well as inquiring about the structure and organization about her class and the school as a whole. Fortunately, the first teacher was quite approachable, and thanks to her patient explanations I got a much better grasp about how the school is organized–something of a confusing mix between the elementary and high school systems that I am familiar with.
One feeling that stuck with me throughout the day was my discomfort about being a spectator in the classroom. Although I was wary that I might offend teachers by offering to help them facilitate the classes right off the bat, by the afternoon classes I found myself going beyond just pacing the classrooms by offering to distribute handouts, engaging with the students and trying to answer some questions while the teacher was occupied. I was a little bit surprised by my own actions–as I usually struggle to be proactive and to engage in conversations with other people. Looking forward, I am actually slightly concerned that I might seem too opinionated to a faculty advisor if I am expected to observe and imitate their teaching styles.
All things considered, I enjoyed my first experience observing the middle school classrooms. Surprisingly, I seemed to discover more about myself than about middle school settings in general. However, I think that this self-discovery is important in my development as a teacher candidate, and hope that I will use this awareness when I visit the next middle school this week.