Stories We Tell is an autobiographical documentary by Canadian actor Sarah Polley that tells the story of Polley discovering her true parentage. She discovers that her mother, Diane Polley, had an affair with a man named Harry Gulkin, and that she was the product of this affair. By the end of the film, it is unclear who the main subject is. It could be Sarah, who is the eye behind the camera; it could be Michael, the man who raised Sarah, and whose voice is a dominant narrator throughout the film. A strong argument could also be made for Diane, whose affair with Harry Gulkin is the reason the film is being made at all.
Diane died when Polley was 11, so her voice does not appear during the film to tell her story. The film instead consists of Diane’s family and friends whose interviews about her construct an image of Diane as she was during her life. Polley constructs an image of Diane using photographs, interviews and recreated super-8 memories, but the audience never really gains a sense of what she was really like. Diane is the subject of the film, but she is offered as a relational other. Earlier on in the term, we explored the concept of “relationality” and the relational other, and discussed how the concept of identity and “I” is defined in relation to other people, communities, and societies (Lecture Oct. 10). A relational other, then, is a person we used to define ourselves in relation to; our identity is constructed, in part, by our relationship to this person.
Polley offers her mother Diane as the ultimate relational other in Stories We Tell. Everyone interviewed in the film has some connection to her, and she acts as an anchor to which all of the people in the film tether themselves to. Diane had, and remains to have, a profound impact on all of the people in the film and the way they identify themselves. All of her children appear in the film, and speak about the effect she had on their lives. Diane’s husband Michael appears in the film, as well as her lover Harry, and both men describe their love for Diane and how she still continues to affect their lives, even though she has long since passed away.
While I would argue that Diane could be the main subject of the film, I would also argue that it is not the story of her affair that matters the most. What Polley represents in the film is not the kind of person Diane was. What matters instead is how the people in Diane’s life remember her, and the way she continues to influence the way they view themselves.
Works Cited
McNeill, Laurie. “Lecture: Missing Sarah.” University of British Columbia. 10 october 2014. Lecture.