Peer Review of Technical Definitions

To: Lovin Kahlon, ENGL 301 Student Writer

From: Kristy Vyfschaft, ENGL 301 Student Reviewer

Date: June 10, 2022

Subject: Peer Review of Technical Definitions

First Impressions:

  • Definition presented is thorough
  • Includes information and a visual to help the audience understand the technical term.
  • Be sure to include three separate definitions, not just an expanded definition, as per the assignment guidelines.

Organization:

  • The introduction is good, but you may want to include more about the intended readers level of knowledge. i.e., semi-technical or non-technical
  • The expanded definition did not include a conclusion, it may be helpful to include an ending sentence or two.
  • The headings used are a good description to the information that is presented in each paragraph.
  • Paragraph four could be reorganized to align with the bullet points and explanations to make sure readers get the information that is associated with each important point.

Expression:

  • The expression through the document is professional.
  • The use of descriptive terms to present the stages of the disease is very useful and enhances the visual.
  • Some sentences could be more concise, editing out words that are not adding information for the readers, prefaces, etc.
  • Some sentences have jargon that the audience may not understand. The use of simpler terms or parenthetical definitions in the document could clarify. i.e. “these microorganisms are associated with…” – microorganisms may be too technical for some audiences.

Content:

  • The definition includes the assignment specifications.
    • An introduction
    • Four types of expansion
    • A visual
    • A works cited list
  • There is only an expanded definition. Be sure to include sentence parenthetical and expanded definitions.

Visual:

  • Visual is good for non-technical readers. Shows what can be seen on their level (above the gums)
  • Refer the textbook for labelling and citing the visual – be sure it is labeled and, in the document.
  • The visual needs to be labeled with a number; “Figure 1”.

Works Cited:

  • Good variety of sources.
  • Your works cited list is not in alphabetical order – this needs correction

Grammar and Typos:

  • A few commas in some phrases are missing.
  • No typos noticed in the document.

Concluding Remarks:

Your definition contains good information for the audience and does not confuse the audience with too much information. The document overall is well organized and easy to read. Small corrections to improve the definition:

  • Including audience level in introduction
  • Three definitions as per the guidelines
  • Paragraph four re-organization
  • Editing for conciseness, improving clarity
  • Explaining or removing jargon to improve readability
  • Labelling the visual and reference to the visual in the definition
  • Alphabetizing the works cited

Thank you for your definitions. If there are any questions, please contact me.