week6—endings; the making and unmaking of [insert something profound here]—
experience blog #6 –
Last days in Peru. Where do I begin?
At this point, I am back in Vancouver and I have never felt cleaner or slept better than in the last 12 hours. Even given that, I would sacrifice this level of clean and well-slumbered-ness to have a few more days with you all.
Thinking back on what I learned, I really didn’t think that I had learned all too much until I talked to some strangers from New York in Aguas Calientes. I was outside writing, reading, watching the dogs meander when a few people came up to me complimenting my pants. We talked for a while and they asked me what I was up to in Peru, which of course they then asked:
what exactly is Indigeneity in Peru?
Taking in this question in a very thoughtful, eloquent, and graceful manner, I responded with:
That’s a good question. To be honest… I got no fucking clue.
We talked some more. I explained my reasonings on why I had no clue about things. I started to realize that I know a lot about why I don’t know things. I explained the complexities abundant in the very word itself, the discourse surrounding it, the historical contexts that nurtured its current state… After this conversation, I think that’s when this course started to come together for me. Perhaps my learnings I’ve cultivated in this course stem from understanding that some things are not meant to be fully understood or dissected. Just as this course was about making and unmaking Indigeneity, understanding comes from the making and unmaking of sense itself.
I still don’t know what to make of the things we learned. Perhaps it will come with time and processing. Perhaps it is not for us to completely understand. One thing I know for sure is that I am so grateful to have been so utterly confused with all of you around. Thanks to everyone for being lost and dazed with me. There’s not another group I would’ve wanted to do this with.
Thanks to Jon and Daniel for making it all happen.
You’ve all made my little ice-cold, itty-bitty heart just a tad bigger.
I don’t think I am very good at conclusions, but I know that endings are necessary and so very special. I’m sitting next to my mom’s mint plants and I’m thinking about making muña tea in the Hotel Florencio mosaic courtyard. I was eating breakfast at 8:45am and I was wondering who’s going to make it before 9am? I’m baking in the sun on the patio and I’m thinking about sitting in the Pisac Inn balcony… will a new-age tourist come sit next to me and not finish their ceviche? I thought to do some reading and realized I don’t need to read 3 books a week anymore. I’m wanting some lunch and thinking to text ‘who want 2 go get sum market food rn? Craving an arroz a la cubana with extra salsa.’ I was wanting an avocado before I realized they’re now very expensive. I’m thinking: who will walk with me to go get laundry done?
I thought to go for a walk and a smoke in the plaza, before I realized there’s not a plaza in front of me as soon as I walk out the door. I’m craving a mid-day almond cappuccino and a cacao and my dear friends who I’d sit and drink it with.
I’m thinking a lot. Reflecting and reminiscing. (Returning?) But mostly missing you all.
I think a common sentiment amongst us all is that words cannot do this experience justice. I think that is probably true. But perhaps my memories will suffice.
With love and thoughts of you all,
Jas