I really enjoyed this weeks reading. It was different from our previous readings, and although I enjoyed those as well, Bombal’s work was like a breath of fresh air. To me, it was much simpler to understand, there was more of a natural flow, and the concepts were some of the biggest things life revolves around. Love and loss.

Love for many, including the protagonist in the story, is the source of many emotions, all of which feel overwhelming and debilitating. The consumption from her first love never seems to fully go away, as is common with many other people. First loves are defining but fleeting, often not following us into our later adult years. But pieces of them follow us, they shape us into who we are. I think Bombal did a great job painting this picture. The despair that was felt when Ricardo was leaving, and the inability that there was to fully release from that part of life. Even if we try to remove ourselves fully from something in our past, it is near impossible to. Every relationship, every friendship, shapes us into who we become. The loss makes us stronger, it helps us appreciate what we once had and gives us joy in what we gain going forward.

There is a line in Batman Begins, “we fall so we can learn to pick ourselves up” and I think that is applicable to this story in a sense. Our suffering often makes us stronger, wiser. We have to go through lows and loss so we can learn to come out of it on the other side, in the end, it makes us better people. It is hard to view life like this in the heat of the moment. The loss feels colossal and all consuming, although once we are out of it, we often recognize that it made us stronger.

When Bombal discussed only knowing after death, it really stuck out to me, and I do think in a way there is truth to this. As she is reflecting upon defining moments in her life, she seems to have realizations she had not had up until this postmortem reflection.  I feel like we are not able to fully reflect on things until they are no longer a factor in our lives, until they no longer matter to us. And maybe this only fully happens in death, but it is interesting to think about how perspectives often do change when someone is on their deathbed, or has a near death experience. The things that once mattered more than anything else have become trivial. It makes me wonder what I will look back on later in my life, what will still seem important, and what I will think no longer holds much significance to my life. My question with all of this is, is it truly peaceful for nothing to matter anymore? In a way, I think it would make me uneasy to not be emotional about things all the time, I think our emotions are one of the most wonderful things about life, the good and bad ones equally.