Formal Report Peer-Review
To: Piper Kim, Writing Team Member
From: Leif Jack, Writing Team Member
Date: July 27, 2022
Subject: Peer review of your formal report
Hello Piper,
I read your report “A Proposal for Recommending Dairy-Free Options at Ice Cream on Grand, New Jersey, USA”, and it has many excellent features. Its tone is positive, the headings, and subheadings are informative, and it discusses the need for dairy-free milk at Ice Cream on Grand in an organized way. Further suggestions are below:
- Data on Lactose Intolerance: This section was very informative. Sharing worldwide data on lactose intolerance as well as its presence around Englewood puts the issue in perspective.
- Non-Dairy Solutions: The table and following paragraph comparing the cost of non-dairy solutions does show these alternatives are not overly expensive in general, but it could be even more effective to also include the dollars per case for regular milk. This way, the reader knows how much more or less they are spending if they decided to offer dairy-free options.
- Intended Audience: The report is clearly written for its intended audience, and even shows consideration for a secondary audience. However, in the introduction, it may not be highly engaging for the owner of the ice cream shop to read facts they may already know. Considering this report investigates the need for dairy-free options, it might be more engaging to place Ice Cream on Grand’s lack of dairy-free options in context of other ice cream shops.
- Pagination: The page numbers are consistent, but “Page 1” usually begins on the first page of proper text, after any preface material like the Table of Contents. Pages like the table of contents, if numbered, frequently use lower-case Roman numerals like “i” instead of Arabic numerals.
- Paragraph Size: The report’s paragraphs are a good size and never feel too long.
- Figures and Graphs: The included graphs are well-labelled and mesh into the report nicely. However, the font size for Figure 1 and 2’s captions could be larger for ease of reading, and same with the labels on the bar graphs from the survey,
In conclusion, the report is well-done, and covers all the major questions readers may have. With some minor revisions and additions for style and clarity, the report is ready for submission to the intended recipients. I hope the feedback was useful, and am open to answering any questions