In the Battle for English I am a fucking Canon
Listen up kids, I’m only gonna say this once:
Your education is a battle and you’re on the front
I’m The General Impregnable to a boring read
And generally professional – I’ll take the lead.
I’m dangerous, I’m always taking risks,
and when I take my aim you know I never miss
if the institution’s got you down or worried
Remember it’s a Cuckoo’s Nest and I’m your McMurphy
I’m an English teacher and I’ll handle it
If my lessons were a dinner they’d be candlelit
A classroom well led with minds well fed,
And don’t forget that I’ve been chosen cuz I’m well B.Ed.
I’m busting mad rhymes and boosting my street cred
And every class of mine is a Special Ed
Yeah when I show my flow I’m gonna explode some heads
Because I’ve got more rhymes than Dempster’s got white bread.
Eyes up, ears open, tell me – what’s that sound?
There’s a new JD gun-Salinger in town.
Take the lessons that I’ve learned hard-earned in my own life
And apply it to the science of testing young minds,
They think I’m Grizzly Adams from my bearded looks
Until they find I got more rhymes than UBC’s got books
I’m the brains and the brawn when I educate
There’s a wrong way to teach and there’s a Mr. Way
And all of my students are going to shit a brick
When I pack my lessons full of rhymes fueled on ill, slick wit.
Refuse to be the teacher glued to the bored,
And when I approach the board their jaws will hit the floor,
Don’t think Mr. Way’s going to forget the Mike,
To pry his metaphors apart you need the jaws of life.
Consonance and assonance reverberate
Constantly assuaging any fears that take ya
I’m the White Whale swimming in the English seas
And Queequeg’s coffin if you’re in too deep.
Eyes up, ears open, tell me – what’s that sound?
There’s a new JD gun-Salinger in town.