{"id":231,"date":"2017-07-30T10:54:53","date_gmt":"2017-07-30T17:54:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/?p=231"},"modified":"2017-07-31T08:14:49","modified_gmt":"2017-07-31T15:14:49","slug":"first","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/2017\/07\/30\/first\/","title":{"rendered":"First"},"content":{"rendered":"<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-231-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/files\/2017\/07\/Voice-002.m4a?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/files\/2017\/07\/Voice-002.m4a\">https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/files\/2017\/07\/Voice-002.m4a<\/a><\/audio>\n<p>I nearly don\u2019t remember you at all but<\/p>\n<p>Here was the place<\/p>\n<p>My first time, yours too<\/p>\n<p>Things you lose: your patience your temper your heart your mind your car keys<\/p>\n<p>Lose your way lose ground lose an advantage lose control<\/p>\n<p>Did we lose our innocence? It\u2019s a silly thought<\/p>\n<p>We were tough smart kids before, tough smart kids after<\/p>\n<p>Although maybe a little bit softer<\/p>\n<p>I was softer, after<\/p>\n<p>And anyway, technically nothing was lost that night<\/p>\n<p>It was just an intimate physical clinical experiment gone slightly awry<\/p>\n<p>All over my thigh, and<\/p>\n<p>I nearly don\u2019t remember you at all<\/p>\n<p>Or that night either, except for the pin-wheeling stars<\/p>\n<p>Straight-backed trees a stern wall of witnesses behind<\/p>\n<p>Warm wet wooden planks under my shoulder blades<\/p>\n<p>Cool slapping water, and murky water smells<\/p>\n<p>Conscious that I smelled like the deep-fat fryer I slaved over every day that summer<\/p>\n<p>But you?<\/p>\n<p>I nearly don\u2019t remember you at all<\/p>\n<p>You were skinny and blond and you talked about rugby and bored me to death<\/p>\n<p>You said you hated my town. I hated my town too<\/p>\n<p>You tasted like beer and tobacco, which was exciting<\/p>\n<p>I was pretty sure you were sophisticated<\/p>\n<p>I thought you were cute, but I can\u2019t remember your face as well as I can remember<\/p>\n<p>the spirals of the stars,<\/p>\n<p>the straightness of the trees<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>When you\u2019re young you\u2019ve got nothing to lose,<\/p>\n<p>when you\u2019re not, you\u2019ve got everything to lose<\/p>\n<p>Somewhere in the world right now, like me, you\u2019re not young<\/p>\n<p>Are you fat? Prosperous, happy, divorced, bereaved?<\/p>\n<p>Burdened by stresses we couldn\u2019t imagine<\/p>\n<p>when we were young together on a night<\/p>\n<p>so fat with the future it felt like Too Much?<\/p>\n<p>Ready to live it all, have it all,<\/p>\n<p>innocent before and after, in the way tough smart kids are innocent,<\/p>\n<p>we didn\u2019t know the risk, that everything we live and have can be lost.<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t think about that night often, or really ever,<\/p>\n<p>And I nearly don\u2019t remember you at all<\/p>\n<p>but that being said, I\u2019m thinking about it now<\/p>\n<p>and although your form is dim<\/p>\n<p>your name carelessly lost like car keys,<\/p>\n<p>I would just like to say that I am thinking of you with enough tenderness<\/p>\n<p>for the skinny boy you were<\/p>\n<p>the man you may have become<\/p>\n<p>and the losses you may have suffered along the way<\/p>\n<p>that I can almost say, at long last<\/p>\n<p>although I nearly don\u2019t remember you at all,<\/p>\n<p>I kind of love you<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I nearly don\u2019t remember you at all but Here was the place My first time, yours too Things you lose: your patience your temper your heart your mind your car keys Lose your way lose ground lose an advantage lose control Did we lose our innocence? It\u2019s a silly thought We were tough smart kids [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":43776,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-231","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/231","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/43776"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=231"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/231\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":271,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/231\/revisions\/271"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=231"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=231"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=231"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}