{"id":680,"date":"2017-08-07T13:07:39","date_gmt":"2017-08-07T20:07:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/?p=680"},"modified":"2017-08-07T13:07:39","modified_gmt":"2017-08-07T20:07:39","slug":"proxy-poem-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/2017\/08\/07\/proxy-poem-3\/","title":{"rendered":"Proxy Poem"},"content":{"rendered":"

In the Battle for English I am a fucking Canon<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Listen up kids, I\u2019m only gonna say this once:<\/p>\n

Your education is a battle and you\u2019re on the front<\/p>\n

I\u2019m The General Impregnable to a boring read<\/p>\n

And generally professional – I\u2019ll take the lead.<\/p>\n

I’m dangerous, I\u2019m always taking risks,<\/p>\n

and when I take my aim you know I never miss<\/p>\n

if the institution’s got you down or worried<\/p>\n

Remember it\u2019s a Cuckoo\u2019s Nest and I\u2019m your McMurphy<\/p>\n

I’m an English teacher and I’ll handle it<\/p>\n

If my lessons were a dinner they’d be candlelit<\/p>\n

A classroom well led with minds well fed,<\/p>\n

And don\u2019t forget that I\u2019ve been chosen cuz I\u2019m well B.Ed.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m busting mad rhymes and boosting my street cred<\/p>\n

And every class of mine is a Special Ed<\/p>\n

Yeah when I show my flow I’m gonna explode some heads<\/p>\n

Because I’ve got more rhymes than Dempster’s got white bread.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Eyes up, ears open, tell me – what\u2019s that sound?<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a new JD gun-Salinger in town.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Take the lessons that I\u2019ve learned hard-earned in my own life<\/p>\n

And apply it to the science of testing young minds,<\/p>\n

They think I’m Grizzly Adams from my bearded looks<\/p>\n

Until they find I got more rhymes than UBC\u2019s got books<\/p>\n

I’m the brains and the brawn when I educate<\/p>\n

There’s a wrong way to teach and there’s a Mr. Way<\/p>\n

And all of my students are going to shit a brick<\/p>\n

When I pack my lessons full of rhymes fueled on ill, slick wit.<\/p>\n

Refuse to be the teacher glued to the bored,<\/p>\n

And when I approach the board their jaws will hit the floor,<\/p>\n

Don’t think Mr. Way’s going to forget the Mike,<\/p>\n

To pry his metaphors apart you need the jaws of life.<\/p>\n

Consonance and assonance \u00a0reverberate<\/p>\n

Constantly assuaging any fears that take ya<\/p>\n

I\u2019m the White Whale swimming in the English seas<\/p>\n

And Queequeg\u2019s coffin if you\u2019re in too deep.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Eyes up, ears open, tell me – what\u2019s that sound?<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a new JD gun-Salinger in town.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In the Battle for English I am a fucking Canon \u00a0 Listen up kids, I\u2019m only gonna say this once: Your education is a battle and you\u2019re on the front I\u2019m The General Impregnable to a boring read And generally professional – I\u2019ll take the lead. I’m dangerous, I\u2019m always taking risks, and when I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":43995,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-680","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/680","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/43995"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=680"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/680\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":681,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/680\/revisions\/681"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=680"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=680"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/lled445\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=680"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}